Birds and Bees??..AHHHHHHHHH!!
 

I have to share this..I just finsihed laughing my self into a cramp. My son is 5 yr old and out of the blue he asked me if girls pee from their butts? I laughed forever thinking about why he poses that question..looks like it..hahaha..I was shaking my head 'No' while laughing and he said yes they do,they don't have a 'Chi-Chi' (what we call it) they pee from their butt just like you mommy..I laughed even harder. He thought I was pulling a fast one on him. He did ask where do they pee from then I said from their 'Chika'..he laughed and said 'nuh-huh' they pee from their butt..he was serious, he knows girls pee from their butt..This was one of the funniest things I've heard. The innocent mind...lololololol.

When do I talk about the birds and the bees? I need time to prepare..lolol. What funny things or questions did your kids or kids that you know ask? I want to hear some 'gut splitters'

:confused: What? Do you mean boys DON'T pee from their butts? :D

Well, you remind me of a day at sunday school a few years ago. One of the 4 year old's in our class tells us his mom didn't have a pee-pee, she just has hair! I thought we would die!

Oh now he's really killing me. He said: Ok mom i'm just kidding, my pee from my Chika (points to his butt) and then comes out my Chi-Chi..This is too hilarious!!!!!!!! And he's till awake ..he had a late nap..just my luck!

Laura You had to be dying..that is too funny. Kids! I love how the innocent logical mind works..hahaha

Amanda, I just told him what you said and we are both laughing..that was good!

Bless his little heart! "The talk" is one of the scariest things about having kids to me....LOL. But I guess I'll find out for myself in a few years' time :p (not pregnant yet tho' in case anyone wonders, lol)

Okay... Shew. *wipes brow* This one brings back a memory or two. Although it's not exactly the same one. LOL Here's the memory it brought back for me and you'll get to laugh too.

I was sitting in church one day when I was about 16 or so. We always sat up front (congregation of about 400 people or so) because my grandfather was a deacon there for over 40 years and it was just one of those things that my family always did as a sign of respect to him and his position inside the church to sit up front. Anyway, one of the first things during each Sunday's service was for all the kids (4 and 5 year olds) to run down front for "Children's Church" which was a "mini-sermon" before they ran off to day care where they stayed until "big church" was over. Well this particular Sunday was Mother's Day. The Children's Church Sermon was taking the letters that make up the word mother (M - O - T - H - E - R) and make them mean something meaningful in the children's lives. At this point, I don't remember what any of the letters stand for EXCEPT that I remember VERY well what the T stands for. As the preacher spoke, he said that the "letter T stood for thermometer because..." and at that moment, little Johnny stood up and darn near screamed it out, "that's the thing my mommy sticks up my butt when I'm sick!" Well that was it! It was all over for the M-O-T-H-E-R thing. The whole congregation burst into laughter and I think we laughed for nearly 15 minutes! It was the VERY first thing I thought of when I read this thread. I have no idea why...but I had to share. ;)

LOL LOL that is so funny what happen in church... that was good!

Well my son asked me where babies come from in the 2nd grade, so I pulled out my video of my c-section and we watched it toghether I was explaining everything to him what he was going to see b4 we started to watch it, so while we are watching it and he see himself the doctors pulling him out (at this point i'm crying cuz every time I see that part I have tears in my eyes cuz my son is crying while the doctors are pulling him out) I look over to my son and now he's crying I said why are u crying he said cuz I'm crying in the video. so now we are both crying LOL... so I pick him up at the daycare, and the daycare says to me so you had the talk last night huh? I was what talk, he said the birds and the bees I said no haven't had that talk yet. She said well your son wants to bring to show -n-tell a video of him being born cuz he wants to show everyone that babies come out of mommy's tummys for real he had told his friends that the doctors have to cut your mommy's tummys open to have us. So when I brought him home I explain to him that some mommy's have to have surgery when they have babies and some don't. he said oh okay. then ask me if he could take the video to show-n-tell to his school he asked his teacher if he could bring it.. I explain to him that the video was private only for our family. he's is 15 now and laughs when I tell him what he did that day when I picked him up at his daycare. and at 15 I will go and watch the video with him and we both still cry together. :)

i dont have any kids yet, but i work at a prechool so we get some doozies about the human anatomy. . . this one kid told me that he wanted boobies like mine (My cup size is a D if anyone wants to know... lol) and i started laughing and asked him why. He said because "my daddy has big boobies like yours, and i want to be like my dad"...... :eek: that was TMI On a fruther note: this kid was WIERD to begin with, he dressed in girls clothes and said wierd stuff liek this a lot... :rolleyes:

We get preschoolers drawing "private parts" on people that they are supposed to decorate... we have quite a fwe stories, i should really start a book and write them all down, because they are HILARIOUS

When we have parents that get pregnant it usually comes out in the kids to ask these sort of questions.

:D Haven't had that talk yet with mine - thank goodness!! But it does remind me of what I thought as a kid!! Well when I finally realized that people kissing on tv and in the movies were using their tongues :eek: - which just the grossest thing I thought I could ever find out (little did I know)- I figured that it MUST be the spit that gets babies in girls tummies!! I just knew I had it all figured out and wanted to try an experiment so I got my sister (who was 4) to spit in a cup and had our neighbor - a little boy who was also 4- to spit in it too and was trying get my sister to then drink it and all the time I am thinking how are we going to tell our parents that she got pregnant?!!!? I think I was some where around six at the time. Then later I found out that wasn't how it worked when I saw two mountain goats on the wild kingdom show - you know it's no wonder how kids get so mixed up watching too much tv!!! :p

That's a good one for "Out of the Mouths of Babes"!

These stories are too funny!

Well, I have given 'the talk' -more or less-, of course my boys are now 15 (today) and 18. I am no longer allowed to discuss this stuff AT ALL. I think it comes in pieces, they ask a pointed question - by the time I am through; they are both disgusted and bored. I think I would go a little too far. My biggest fear was what they were telling their friends. But as difficult as it was for me to talk to the boys about such things, I know they are informed and since the subject is now TABOO! I am glad I did it when they were probably too young.

This is horrible but yesterday my 15 year old tells me he knows his brother (18) is not GAY; but he won't tell my why! I quizzed and quizzed and could not get it out of him. He answered no to all my many questions, I'm sure it is something stupid, but he wouldn't say.

Funny thread!
 

No they just TALK out of them!!!! :D :D

A girlfriend's son (I guess he was about 6 at the time) asking his dad what intesticles were. After his dad explained what testicles were, the little boy said 'Oh, I thought it was something in your stomach'.

Here he was combining the words intestines and testicles, and his dad assumed the worst of the two words! :D

That is funny....and since you asked....

I feel the easiest way to teach the "birds and the bees" (sex education) is to tell the truth from birth and be honest and open and answer the questions seriously and without giggling when they arise.

Call the organs by their correct names, penis, vagina, anus, urethra, etc. and then when they get older and it is a "silly, giggly, embarassing" thing for their peers your children will already be prepared and know the truth and you will never have to have "the talk".

I bought age appropriate anatomy books all along as my children grew up and then when they had questions after reading the books they asked me and I answered honestly. If you tell a child in simplistic terms where a baby comes from when they are really young it becomes no big deal as they get older and it is what it is ....a normal and natural and beautiful part of life. They will be happier and healthier for it. :)

Thats what I am doing with my children too. :)

Common ground!! Yay! :thumbup:

Kim, I'm sure we have lots :) Except I'm up here freezing and your in Sunny California. I'm so so so jealous ( and so are Daisy & Bear). :)

Too funny Irene!!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh today :)

We always answered our dd's questions honestly but without going overboard on the info, using the correct terms. She asked where the baby grew....a place called a vagina...that's all she wanted to know....and we didn't elobrate. When she asked point blank....that's when we supplied more information.

And to you gals with daughters...let me suggest a terrific book for them. It's "the care and keeping of you" by American Girl. It covers developing bodies, pimples, friends, etc. All the information is geared toward girls. I got it for my dd when she was in fifth grade, because I "started" by 6th and wanted to prepare her "if and when". Also told her if "it" happened at school, she should tell a woman because all of us were there at one time or another.....at the time she had a male teacher in the morning and a woman in the afternoon. She asked me if it happened could she wait until she went to the woman's class. I told her to tell Mr. P that she needed to go to the nurse. She insisted he'd want to know why. I said just tell him it's personal, that he knew about girls having periods, and wouldn't ask questions. She asked how he knew. I said he's married. Her reply....do ya think his WIFE told him. I just laughed and said hmmm, yea ;)

Any way you can find the book at Target or Amazon. She and I read it together and sometimes she'd tell me she "looked" something up in it. She keep checking that boob growth stage....LOL.

You guys have me CRACKING UP!!!!!

This happened when my son was around 3. Well, I went in to wake him up one next morning and there he was...he had pitched a tent. He looks at himself and looks at me...."MOMMA, WASSAT??? BIG PEE PEE!!!" I just about died from laughing so hard...but this was the same kid that earlier that year, I was working in the back yard. He was helping me but went into the house. After a while, I was wondering where he was so I went in and called his name...couldn't find him. Open the front door and he's running down the side walk in front of the house...butt naked with a red tub over his head!

This is going into my "things to know when you are a Mommy and kids ask questions" brain file! :) Thanks for the advice.

Hmmmm, guess he didn't want to be recognized....LOL. Reminds me...friend was in the potty training process w/ ds. We're at the beach...course he has to go, NO POTTIES, so we tell him that you just go in the water. He walks down to the edge, whips it out, and GOES. I told her I guess we needed to explain that you actually wade into the water :D Guess it is a little confusing, ya spend weeks saying "don't go in your pants"....and NOW ya want them to :eek:

DD once walked in the bathroom when I had a tampon in my hand. She asked what it was....said it's something big girls use. Week later, she's rushing to the potty...telling me she's gotta go, holds up her hand holding a tampon and says...I got one of these too, cause I'm a BIG girl NOW ;) I had to up the age to being a mommy :p

These stories are a riot!!!

My 9 year old niece found out where babies come from at school a few weeks ago. She was SO mad at her parents!!! She looked at her mother and said - "You did THAT with HIM ?!?!?!" and gave my brother the dirtiest look. Then she said, "I can't believe you did that in MY house - probably while I was sleeping!!!". She was so mad at them - she thought it was so gross! So they explained to her that everyone thinks that their parents doing it is gross. They said, "We don't like to think about Gram & Papa doing it" and she said "Yeah, especially becaue they're old!".

Too funny!!

Now that's funny :D As a child, I thought my parents did "it" three times....my brothers and me. And obviously the mother down the street liked it more than my mom...cause they had 6 kids. :eek:

ROTFLMAO!!!! OMG... I need to breath... I love her indignation... You did what, where? In MY home?? LMAO!!!