need some creative thinking
 

Hi All...

This is probably one you have not heard on this list yet. I have a big party coming and I am searching for a "male" date. I am on the dating sites but have been too busy working (busy season at work) to really get even a friendship type relationship going (although I have been trying). I think going to this party (which is going to be great) will give me a leg up on keeping my job at this company (I am new and temp part time). Besides the fact that they do things big time and the co workers and bosses are great.

Sooooo I need a date. anyone have any ideas. I don' t want to get mugged or anything by asking some one totally new (you know from the dating websites or Craigslist, lol) But I still need a date...any ideas. I live in New Jersey (northern).

Any ideas let me know.
Thanks
Tina

Perhaps throw it out to your facebook friends? At least that way someone else knows them. Probably what I would do.

Thai's a good idea.....but I am not that active on FB so most of the contacts are people not so close to where I live.

But I did get another idea. I am going to call one of my old boyfriend/fiancé and see what he has been up to. Last time we spoke he declined an invitation to a family event but things may have changed...I might even get some info on an old friend that I was going to call him about anyway (when and if I got around to it) He is a party animal so he may go for it if he hasn't re married .

Thanks and if anyone else has any ideas please do post I will need back up if one thing or another doesn't work out.
Tina

Just wondering --

Is this a good time to possibly end up with a dud date that you don't know too well and who might be more of an embarrassment than a social asset.

AND

why do you feel you need a date. Enjoying an evening with your work colleagues hopefully will be fun with or without a date :D

Enjoy!!!!

I too kind of wondered about why you need a date for a party? seems rather antiquated. But do you have any male cousins who are presentable and would be game for a bit of fun and misdirection?

Is there a reason you think you need a date for this party...?

What about just asking a good guy-friend to go with as your date?

I would be very leery of asking a total stranger to a work date...could be risky!

I thought of the same thing...and that is from the voice of experience...but most of the people that I work with are married and have been for years or a couple.

I don't want to be the wall flower when everyone is talking with their significant other etc. and then leaving alone is another gut wrench.

But I can tell you taking a date to a party for the wrong reasons can be a bummer even the next day at work when people mention how you just didn't look like you were together.

Thanks for mentioning....I might just not go or go alone....which is what I would like if it would work, cause now I am too tired to conjure up a date.

But we will see how it plays out
Thanks
Tina

LOL...I was thinking of asking my brother to go with me...he is 18years old than me...but hey why not just say he is mu brother...but no I won't ask him and I don't have any cousins to ask...but GOOD idea.

I just may sit this one out....I think I have a date with one of the men I was thinking of screening (for real purposes) from the website...have to read his response. If we get in a copula of dates and he is nice it might be a good idea.

But I like your suggestions. Keep 'em coming...will fill you in.

Thanks
Tina

Find out if there are going to be some other singles there without a date. If attending would be beneficial to your job, I would go alone and not risk a new-ish date who might embarrass you as someone mentioned above.

Even a room full of married people won't be rude and let you be a wallflower.

Good luck!

Lol...depends on how much you (I) can come up with good conversation so that they don't feel like they are babysitting, lol.

I am not saying that these people would be rude I just don't want to feel like they have to entertain me...I like when that happens naturally.

But what you and the other have said is all being take as very good advise and some thing that I probably would enjoy better.

The one only thing that really makes me want to take date (to be a little more protective of myself - socially) is that I think or sense that I am in competition with one of the other women for favoritism on keeping a job there ( where the big bosses will lean more toward me in any discussions with a couple of supervisors). I like them (the supervisors not the co worker) but one of them feels very sympatric toward co worker...maybe even having an affair. The co worker is married and so is he (his wife actually started working there this year at night to keep an eye on him-but that is their prob or way of dealing with "tax season".

But anyway I have over heard complaining to this one supervisor (from the co worker) even from the start about him giving me work (instead of giving it to her). No work you know what that means. I don't want to give her any ammunition like going to the party alone and giving her an opening to express that to others in a demeaning way......people love gossip,lol. I would rather show up with a date even a boring one, lol, just to limit what anyone can say regarding me socially.

I am only there 2 months she is there probably, I am going to guess, a year or 2. Already I have heard derogatory statements from her because of her anger and jealousy towards me (not directly to me but while I was in her presence)...so I really don't want to be able to put any doubts into anyone's mind about anything. My work is much better than hers and she is feeling very insecure, someone like that is capable of doing much harm....and I really like this company (I am not in love with it but why go looking if I might have an opportunity there). I really like most if not all the co workers....except for you know who (right now anyway) But she is a trouble maker and that spreads.

I know this is a lot to deal with for a party but sometime you have to jump through some hoops to get what you want. And then maybe it would just be best to not give a crap and just go and get what ever I can out of it and that's that.

My apologies for the long post.
Keep posting I am getting some good ideas. One will work! I know it will.
Tina



I know it is a lot to

Alright a couple of more ideas - maybe a golf buddy or bowling or what ever past time you have where you have some male associates. I am not sure that I follow all your reasoning for the need of a date but it seems like it is important to you. Also how about a previous boss from another company who thought highly of you.

Also spend some time thinking about what to wear. Always dress to impress correctly my natural style is subdued but elegant. What ever you wear it is best to feel really good in your outfit.

For a fancy charity dinner I wore a simple black cocktail dress with gold earrings and a gold choker. No cleavage but the dress fit like a glove and flared out in the skirt. Clear nylons and a spare in my purse. I have the worst luck with snagging nylons. Moderate height shoes. Or another viewpoint is to dress to the next level you want to be promoted to.

You know I just thought of something - every other year at my college reunion one of my friends (who is a business man and gay) hires a lady from a BBB escort service to accompany him and be his dance partner for the evening.

The who would come with him (aside from being gorgeous) were delightful, smart and socially adept.

Of course, one would have to be careful with this but some eye-candy on your arm might be the image you would like to present.

Most of my friend's escorts were actors who earned extra money this way and the service was Better Business Bureau and insured/bonded.

Just a thought.

Me, I would just go and be friendly with everyone, work the room, get seen, and go,home when I was tired of it. But then, I have been widowed for many years and am not looking for another man to raise. But you need to,do,whatever you are comfortable with, but I hope either way you can have a good time.

Here where I live there a lot of high rolller older guys who come in for the horse races and hire escorts to accompany them at their business events.

I've never been married and I often attended functions without a date. To the best of my knowledge, this has never generated any negative gossip about being single.

Outside of some friendly ribbing about getting married and having kids (more from extended family than friends or acquaintances), everyone has accepted me as me. I think a big part of it is our own mindsets and how we define and present ourselves.

I know a few men, confirmed bachelors, very successful, who are the same way and no one gossips about them. No one questions why they are single or what they do with their lives.

At the same time, I understand being more comfortable going into a social setting with a designated friend.

Why wouldn't you bring a girlfriend?

Hi all....

Had a date today a very nice guy but we don't have much in common. He might call not sure. But as far as the party I am going to sleep on things. I am so used having my 2 fur babies that everything social went to the wayside...I started getting out last summer a little more to start dating but bills/work always get in the way. I can go on, lol

I really appreciate all your time and conversation....even reading the posts this morning and replying something inside me started to say....why do you want to bring a date????????? Maybe I just had to work thru it. I am serious about getting out to meet someone but I like things to be spontaneous of course not rushed.

I just call a male escort...lol....he was very friendly and expensive, lol. probably needs the money. But if I have to put up that much of a front maybe it would be best not to go at all. More than likely (being a tight wad as I am) I will probably go myself and just enjoy the night. If something happens that last minute I don't want to go then I won't...I've seen other people do that.

I will keep you up dated on what happens...and keep posting if you have any more to say.

Btw...don't have any girlfriends that aren't VERY married, lol and wouldn't go.

Love you all
Tina

I don't really understand how going to a party alone gives anyone gossip ammunition...? If/when I see someone go it alone, I think either nothing at all or, "awesome confidence, yes!", bc it can be hard to enter a social gathering alone...I get that.

But let's say she *does* comment on it and get demeaning about it...that's not going to hurt you, it will hurt HER and her alone bc she will look like a complete A-hole and everyone who hears it will think that of her too. So, if she wants to go that route, let her go ahead and dig herself her own hole to fall into, ya know? And meanwhile, you're looking like a class act with confidence! Right?!!!

Take your advice in red above - that's what I'm talkin' about :):):)!

That is most likely the way it will work out....one of the owners asked me yesterday if I was going and I said I wouldn't miss it...it will be fun and I really like everyone there and will miss them till they call me back into work...which most likely won't be till next year...just have to accept that, that's my deal and that is why I get paid what I do (not that it's so great )but I have more flexibility than the full timers.

I am at the point that I am just going to enjoy...busy season is soon over I will be home with my furbaby till my next project but still it won't be like busy season so I can shower her with attention which she really deserves.
This busy season must have been pretty difficult for her and she has been very good.

I was great working this out with you all....I am back to my practical self, lol..but we can keep the thread going if anyone else would like to chime in.

Love you all...hugs,
tina;)

Awesome! Sounds like you have come to a good place with this issue.

My husband died many years ago, and I have gotten so used to go to events and places by myself,that I don't even think about it anymore. To my knowledge no one has ever questioned it or comment on it.

I even has "the look" down to ward off any uninvited folks:D

Go and have a great time!

Happy to hear you said you would go. Enjoy!

Nice! Hope you enjoy yourself. You kinda have to post after and let us know how it went. Nod nod. One of the "rules" I think. (of course that could just me being all nosy and stuff)

Hi All.....

Yes I am at a much better and more realistic place about it all....thanks to all your help.

Today one of the guys(men, lol) that works in the office I am in announced he is going to the party without his wife.....the party just happens to fall on the anniversary of the death of his wife's grandmother and the family has a special evening planned.

I also found out the only people invited is the office ,no clients, so it will probably be a lot of fun...I am guessing some of the others (mostly guys) will be going alone also (this company has a few pretty young cuties working there)...maybe only one or 2 others but hey who cares, one small glass of wine and I won't know where I am anyway, lol. It's being held at the race track...hope they don't find me on the track trying to catch a horse (I love horses, lol)

I will definitely be posting to let you all know how things went.

Hugs....talk to you soon.:hug:

tina

Hi All....

Hmmmmm where do I start....kinda simple I think. Went to the party alone. During that last week before the party I decide to just ask someone to go instead of trying to find a guy that was "suitable" for me to date also (LOL that was very funny) . Well I did get some very (what seemed to be interesting guys from their profiles) saying yes they wanted to go....but I didn't take them up on their offer to go...too short notice to feel comfortable...so I went alone. When I got their some of the people that I worked with in my department (the room) were waving me on and very happy to see me...also another lady (my age) came right over to welcome me (we were a little chummy at work also) (different dept).

So from that point on I was involved with the people I just mentioned most of the time. It was held at the race track so I bet a couple of races and won 3 out of 5 races....some people were following my bets so when I won they won too. I hit the long shot once and won $165.00 on a $5.00 bet...that made the night. So we ate gabbed, drank and laughed. All in all it was a good night (although a little confusing, but who cares I am no longer working there) so time to move on to greener pastures.

One thing that always annoys me is when the boss wants to introduce me to his wife.....Why, Why, Why must I meet their wives...esp when I am not going to work there any longer. Of course I was nice and thru in a good pitch for myself "told the boss what a couple of clients had said to me" A few clients told me that they love the company and felt very comfortable working with them....They were clients that I was handling so they were talking about me....so it was a dual sided compliment...how could he not catch, Lol.

The other boss I think was kinda disappointed that I was not mingling more so that he could also introduce me to his wife...but hey you can't please them all. I did have a few hello words with him when I arrived (didn't work with him) he is in a diff department.

But any way I will miss most of them but now I am home finishing the last of the returns that I have to do and giving my little GiGi all the attention that she needs and deserves.

So do we have any comments or questions.....?lol. Fun to chew the fat on this one, lol;)

Tina

sounds sort of fun I guess, just curious what type of company did you work for, what type of work did you do and what age bracket are you in? Not many companies anymore make a big deal out of spouses/partners and social events so it is interesting to hear about one that does

Really! That is an interesting observation. I worked for an accounting firm, I am an accountant and I am retirement age...but not retiring. There were about 25 people invited and guests. So it was the end of tax season
party....most firms have one but they differ in
type and place....ex:some just go to a restaurant etc. or have it in the office...it varies.....but I am constantly plagued with meeting the wife....next time I am going to ask "why"..... if it is a company I am not too crazy about......I almost did that last year...just so happened I was in a bad mood the day the wife came in (during tax season) so he didn't bother. ....but I know it was pending. Yuck!

Where is everyone??? Must be out having a good time:)


Tina

Glad to hear you had a good time overall. Congratulations on your winnings! :D

Thanks....I did need the cash...can't find where I put it..have to search the house, lol.

tina