So off topic, but need to get this off my chest
 

My husband and I are planning a move to Concord, NC and I am so upset about it. Everything in it is right, better education for the kids, less crime, better job for hubby.. EVERYTHING is right. Only problem is that I would be leaving my WHOLE family. This is killing. Plus, taking my children away from my parents would hurt them too... Please tell me that I am doing the right thing in leaving. Where I'm at currently, Miami-Dade County, Fl. The school are failing schools at this point in time. Those of you in FL know how we do our grading. We grade our schools in letter grades and the high schools that my son would have to go to in 1 1/2 years is f rated... I'm just so devastated about leaving my family.. I've been crying all day over this...

I was faced with the same choice almost 5 years ago. We moved from the town that I'd always known to Victoria. On top of that, we lived with my in-laws for a couple of months. We had no jobs when we first moved down here. I HATED IT! I hated leaving my mom, my dad, the only family I really have. I hated it even worse living with a$$ backwards in-laws. I was ready to leave my husband and move back home with my kids.

It does get easier. I don't get to see my dad or mom as much...my mom did end up moving about an hour from me. Yes, I still miss home, miss the places I would go to, miss my friends. When one door is closed, a window is opened.

It's not easy and I won't lie and say it is. But you need to do what is best for your kids. I won't say that I love everything about living down here, because I don't...but I wouldn't go back "home" for anything. This is my home now.

Thanks Kimberley. I know that everything in my heart says this is the right thing and I do hate where I'm at now, but it's going to be so hard on me and the kids at first.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH Welcome to my world :(


I ONLY stick it out for my kids. Personally I am DYING inside :(

Good Luck!!!! I know things are hard and you see a lot of negatives here, and that is very natural, bu it can be a golden opportunity for you. As you said, better job for hubby, better schools for the kids, safer living conditions for everyone. Hopefully there are some positives for you.

It can be a wonderufl opportunity for you, your husband and children to become even closer. I know from experience. Ron and I moved 10 times the first 10 years we were married, he was in mid management for a large computer manufacturer. Two of those moves I was pregnant. Not only did we move ourselves, but our Irish Setters and horses 1/2 way across the country. We moved away from ALL of our family and friends. Ron and I were forced to work together to take care of our young children. 25 years later we are still happily married.

I know this probably won't make you feel better but I live about thirty minutes from Concord and even though you will miss your family terrible:( I think you'll grow to love it here. Have faith :)

Thanks Michelle.. We're actually thinking about driving up this weekend and taking a look around. My hubbys job offer is actually in Charlotte..

Well I think that is so great!!! I live in Charlotte :) I'd love to help you out any way I can and would love to have playdates :D See! you already have a friend here ;) Everything will be ok, you'll see :)

My father was military, so we moved ever couple of years. My mom is from SC, and my father is from PA, so we never really lived near family.

Like Kimberley says it takes time, but soon it will be 'home' to you. With children, you will have the opportunity to meet other moms and I bet you'll find that they are more than willing to 'share' their community with you. Just ask lots of questions. People love to tell you their thoughts on where to find the best restaurants, barber, shopping, gyms, etc.

My family (because of my mom) always looked at each move like a new adventure and she would always stress the positives, so I learned to like the changes. Help your kids look up information about Concord and NC so they will know what to expect. (My mom would have LOVED to have had the Internet when we were little-we just went to the library!)

Kids adjust fast, just try not to let them know your fears about the move. Trust me, they'll smell your weakness and use it against you later! :p

Good luck!!

BTW-That's a lovely part of the state!

GO FOR IT !! CHANGE IS GOOD !! :D

It sounds like a new beginning for you ! Thats wonderful !

By what you're telling us, I'd leave Fl behind and look forward to a new life in NC. The best to your husband on his new job offer and to all of you in your home in NC. You've already got a friend in Charlotte ! Good Luck !

It is hard, but it does get better. I did the same thing, only it was me who needed to move and dragged my husband and daughter with me. We both left all our family behind and yes, it was really really hard! But it was the best thing we could have done for several reasons.

Someone mentioned that your (immediate) family may get closer because you will need to depend on each other - no one else, at first. This is so true, hopefully it will be true for you also.

The other benefit is that, every family has some members that you would just as soon not see too often - and now you don't have to. Both my husband and I thank goodness, from time to time, that we are away from our families and get to deal with the crazies by long distance, rather than face to face.

Yes, you do miss them terribly, but that will ease. If you don't have a nationwide cell plan - get one with lots of minutes so that you can call any time you want - it will make you feel much closer.

Make a list of the postitives and the negatives and then try to figure out how to turn the negatives into positives.

We made our move 20 years ago and I cannot imagine living anywhere else now. This is my home and it always will be - but I could not imagine saying or feeling that 20 years ago.

Good luck with everything!

You'll make it! Just keep your chin up and try to be up beat about it. It's a new start! Just think...no one will know your secrets or gossip...it'll be a whole new you! :D

Why did you pick Concord? Can't you move to a part of FL w/ better schools? You'd be nearer to your family and get your kids the education they deserve. Is hubby's job the main reason?

Yes, ym husband job is the main reason. Also, the fact that FL. housing and insurance is gettin WAY out of hand because of hte hurricanes. I am a Fl native and that is part of the hesitation, but I do LOVE NC and know that I would be so happy there. It's just getting over the initial fear. Which I'm sure is normal in any move..

Thanks
 

Thank you for all of your words of advice. I will take them all to heart. Michelle I'll be looking for you when I get up there.. Daisy will need a buddy and lord knows I will...

Daisy will have FOUR buddies when she gets here....you'll just be stuck with me :D I'll pm you my address and phone number.....when will you actually be making your move? I live on the outskirts of Charlotte....very near Pineville, NC which is a very nice small town that reminds me of the little town I grew up in....my 9 year old son even goes to school there even though it's out of my district. Plus it is close to the new I-485 corridor that takes you straight to I-85. Awesome restaurants and shopping near me but still quiet and away from downtown Charlotte traffic....you should check out my area if Concord is not set in stone :) But if it is we'll still be very close!

Thanks for inviting us to be puppals ;)

Have you lived in Florida all your life?

Goodness, my husband was in the military for 27 years. I think our kids lives were greatly enriched from living in different places and meeting people from all over the world.

Remember, home is wear the heart is! Just follow your heart and think positive.

When you move, your relatives will be coming to visit you and it will REALLY be special then.

I wish you luck. Remember - YOU have to think positive for your kids sake. If you keep thinking, I won't like it - then, the kids will follow suit! Help them to adjust by you thinking positive about it and liking it.

I know how hard this is. We moved to GA 19 years ago because my husband needed to find work. He worked in the coal mines of VA and was constantly being laid off. All of our family is in VA. But it was a blessing in disguise(sp) after we had Ethan he was diagnosed as high functioning autistic and the school system he is in is one of the best in the country for special needs children. So we were drawn here for a reason. Sure we would love to move back closer to our families but, we have to think of Ethan and his needs definitely come before ours. If you know in your gut this is the right thing to do it will get easier I promise. Just hang tough.

Gee I have an opinion from the other side of the family, as a grandma the kids moved and after a short time we followed, everyone was happy about it,and we have never been sorry.you can move away from the family,but they just might follow the the grandkids..the kids need grandparents..

awww...that's so sweet...and a great idea!!! :)

I completely understand what you are going thru. I was offered a job Fort Worth that I just could not turn down, but it meant moving from Houston where my mom, dad, sister, and all my friends are. I only other thing that was positive about the move was that I would be with by boyfriend and his little girl. I think I cried for a whole month after I moved because I was so use to going to my mom's almost everday. Now, I am in Fort Worth, and my BF travels alot for work and I am left by my self alot. It gets pretty lonely, but I am making thru it though. It will be hard but it does get easier once you get moved and into a daily routine again. Good luck!!!!

With all of the times that my family has moved I can tell you that the first 6 months any where you go are the hardest. But despite those forst 6 months being hard I can also tell you that we've cried everytime we've had to leave (which means we eventually learned to love it).

When my husband and I moved down here to Hartsville, SC (only 1.5 hours from Charlotte) it was his first move ever and our first move together. We've been here 6 months and while it's been "home" for a while we're starting to find out niche here. Your family will come to visit and you'll have holiday and vacations that you can take down to see them. I'm sure that you're parents won't be able to stay away from the grandkids.

The best advice I can give you is to take people up on invitations as often as you can and don't hesitate to ask people to do things with you. You need to let us know when you're heading down and then those of us in the area can get together for dinner or a play date:)

It will be hard, but I know it will turn out alright for you.

Leah :)

Thank you EVERYONE for your words. I cried with each and every post I read. I think partly because I KNOW that this is the right move and partly because it involves leaving a family that has never been seperated. Mom, Dad, grandparents, sister and niece.. I will for sure being looking to you all that are in that area. At least we will already have one thing in common (our furbabies) My husband was born and raised in Florida, and I have been here since I was a year old. It's going to be super hard in a new area, but I know that we will adjust. Heck, we (none of us) have ever even seen snow..

Pat, are you really my mom in disguise? You sound JUST like her. (Its a good thing!) :D

She had three kids (born consecutively, no less!) and had to pack up the house and move us all, get us registered in school, etc. every couple of years. I ask her now how she did it, and she says she never really thought about it, just knew that it had to be done.

God bless her and you!! Don't know if I could do it!

Change is always difficult, but this sounds like a golden opportunity for you and your family. Especially the housing and school issues. You can always visit with your family during the summer and holidays for an extended amount of time. Now with e-mail it's better than it was years ago staying in touch. Best of Luck to you and your family.

As the ole' saying goes, "you just do what you gotta' do!"

You don't think about it - you just do it. No questions asked back then!

Good luck to all you young people!

I went to school in Charlotte (really close to Concord) for two years. It's a fun area, traffic sucks tho. But thinking possitively about the situation, Concord really isnt that bad of a place...AND you'll be an YT-NC-er! Hip hip hooray!