Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and actually believe the above and to the women who can need a laugh.......

Originally Posted by jbarile this is cute>>. :p Bubba & Earl Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking on bottles of Budweiser. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a dadgum police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put labels on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Howdy boys,y'all been drinkin'?" "No sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels... "Me and Bubba's on the Patch."