Adopted new girl, having doubts?
 

Hi everyone! My husband and I adopted our new girl (a 7 year old Chihuahua yesterday). She came from a pretty bad situation at the time the rescue saved her. She is very cute, sweet and well behaved - a bit frightened but that is to be expected.


This is by no means our first rodeo when it comes to adopting. All of our girls have been adopted. We currently have 4 including our new girl. And even our fallen babies have been rescues.


But now that she is home with us, I am having doubts about her. And its certainly not her fault or anything she is doing, not doing, etc. She is precious and needs a loving home, which I know we can provide.


Here is why I feel this way:
Three weeks ago I saw a photo of a different Chihuahua (a 2 year old girl). My husband and I went and visited her -- twice! Each time we spent about 2 hours with her. She is a fear biter and it took her a while each time to warm up to us. So...we agreed to discuss and think about her. In between that time we come to know our new girl which we adopted yesterday.


So, now that we made the decision not to get the first girl we were interested in, I feel terrible. I sit here thinking what if I made the wrong decision. I truly wanted to adopt the first girl we met, I just needed some time to determine if we would be able to work with her enough and get her on the right track. I can't stop thinking about her and I wish I could go get her right now!


I'm not sure what to do at this point. I feel if we had left our new girl yesterday, I would probably feel the same way about her. So I am torn between both girls, even though we've committed to our new baby. I still can't quit thinking about the first.


Do any of you have any suggestions or words of wisdom to help in this situation? I had actually thought about going and getting the first girl too, but I do not feel I can handle 5 babies. We've always had between 3 and 4 over the years, so its a number I feel comfortable with and I think adding a 5th would also be too difficult on our other babies.


I appreciate any thoughts on this. Thank you in advance! :)

Have you talked to your husband about the first little girl? You heart is talking to you for a reason. If adopting her too is too much for you (too many pups) have you considered calling a breed specific rescue that will be able to help her with her issues?

Our house has 5 already. 1 chi,2 poodles,1 yorkie and 1 biewer. The yorkie and biewer are mine. We picked the biewer up in Oct,she is now 8 months old and FULL of energy but so sweet. Fast forward 3 or 4 weeks and a very good friend calls me to say that her little girl is expecting, not planned. I put some serious thought into can I handle 3 little girls and still pay attention to the other 3 that live here that are not mine,but I am here more than their owners. I decided to go ahead and get one of my friends pups as well,color me crazy. But after raising 6 children I feel like I can handle pretty much anything.
If your heart feels that you should give this other little girl a home,then do so. You obviously aren't going into it blindly and seem aware that both of the girls will need certain things.
Our biewer will be 10months when we pick the new baby up. So the ages will be 12 yrs Xs2,7yrs,3 1/2 yrs,10months and 16weeks. Im certain that the summer will have its trials and I will be spending a lot of time potty training and basic command training. I put a lot of thought into how I would approach as many things as I could think of and am sure that the pups will come up with some stuff to surprise me with.

If you feel that strongly, I think you should talk it over with your husband. The most important part is that your husband would be on board and would be supportive. The 2nd part would be on whether you guys are financially stable enough for another dog.

Bringing in a 5th dog will be out of your comfort zone. But if you really want it bad enough, I think you and your husband will find a way to make it work.

If you decided not to taken on the chi, would looking at the chi you did bring home remind you of the other? *sigh* I don't evny your situation as it would drive me insane.

Thank you for rescusing and good luck on whatever you decide. You're a really good person. :)

Your quote, I do not feel I can raise 5 babies [end quote]

That is what hit me in your post and you have every right to feel that way. I think you are feeling guilty that there is a point in your life that you have to say 'no' but there are times we do. I'm sure the other Chi will get a good home.

Just my opinion.

Thank you all so much for your input and different perspectives on my situation. Each of your replies has been very helpful for me.


My husband knows how I feel about the situation - and he has told me numerous times that if I wanted to get the other Chi, then we would go pick her up. He's been very supportive. However, I would be the primary caregiver to her. Don't get me wrong, when he is home from work he is a great help! He loves and cares for all our babies in a wonderful way, but I am the one home the most and so I am around them a lot more.


Crystalsmom - I think you are right. And I do feel so terrible about not getting the first Chi.


I've been contemplating every possible scenario of what if we do/do not get her, and they all seem the same! If I do get her I may feel overwhelmed, and if I do not get her I will feel so guilty and terrible. I think another reason I feel this way (of the many) is because our youngest Yorkie is the neediest and she adores my attention. She is a very jealous girl and I am afraid that she would be upset by bringing in another baby. Have any of you faced that problem before?


I am just torn. Thank you all so much for your help!

Could you just watch out for the first chi & make sure she finds a good home? Network, get on the chi forum, visit her at the shelter, call rescues, maybe even foster her yourself? If she finds a good home that would seem to be the best outcome for you.
Good luck.

This is exactly what I thought of. It sounds like the first one needs lots of extra attention. Having other pups, this will be more difficult to do. I am sure she will find a wonderful home whether you get her or another adopts her.

I believe everything happens for a reason. The second dog was adopted by you for a reason. I think it's easier for a 2 yr old to get adopted than a 7 yr old. Maybe that's why you ended up with the second one! :).

Sometimes when I find a pup I'm dying to get but know I can't keep, I will help to find that pup a good home. It helps me not feel guilty about not taking the pup. Maybe you could find her a really good home where she has lots of attention. Just a thought.

I think it's so hard to not fall in love with a pup you're seriously considering adopting. I know it would have been so hard to turn down this awesome rescue girl we applied for right before we found the pup we wanted from our breeder Deb. Thankfully another family was one ahead of us in line for this beautiful rescue pup so I never had to feel guilt about saying no to her once I found Cookie from Deb at Amazing Yorkies (because the application one ahead of us got accepted; they told us we would have gotten her if our application hadn't been made after theirs).

I think you should trust your decision in getting the pup you picked. It's easy to second guess yourself, but you most likely made the right decision in the first place.

Thank you so much for your kind words Chris! I hope that you have been doing great! :) I haven't been on in a while.


I wish more than anything I was up to going ahead and getting the other girl too. I have done nothing but think about her day and night! I think more than me, I am just worried about what our other babies would do and how they would react to her. I do not want to overwhelm them either. I mean, five is a crazy number right? Then I see some people that have multiples and that also foster and they make it look so easy. Idk if I could do it! Sigh...

Always doing great with my Cookie Monster here with me, Michelle! She has just grown so fast! I'd definitely have a hard time with 5 pups (I prefer one), but my brother has had 5-7 rescues at a time that he was rehabbing in his apartment together. I can't really tell you which way makes more sense to go here I guess; I have no idea!

Chris

Here's quick update on the Cook, Michelle:

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...t-club-62.html

It's post #921

I would just like to say one more thing. Sweetie, if we only could feed all the starving children of the world, if we only could save all the pups that need saving, if only but we can't.

You have no reason to feel guilty, we all try to do our part and do something but don't you see, you do more than most.

(((hugs)))

Joan

Like Crystlesmom said, you can't save them all. And you're doing all you possible can so don't feel guilty if you decide not to take on a 5th dog. Perhaps the other chi is with you now b/c this one was meant for someone else.

Please don't drive yourself crazy over this... It's not good for your health.

Could you help the first chi's owner find her a home? I am currently fostering a cat for a lady who is searching for a home for him. I am also posting my own ads and doing the same thing. You could help the owner without having to actually take the pup in?