I need advice ...
 

Something happened today .. and after seriously trying to figure out who I should go talk to about this situation ... the only place I wanted to come to for advice was here ...

My friend, of ten years, lost her mother today. Her mother had a passion for horses, and while carting with one today ... the horse bolted and crashed the cart into the tree ...

My friend and I met when we were eight years old and were almost completely inseparable. However, by the time we reached 15 to 17 we kind grew apart ... and now she and I hardly ever talk. We don't have any negative feelings toward each other ... but we have just grown apart.

My friend is a very private person ... extremely private and she hates showing emotions in front of anyone. My mind is telling me that she would not be happy about me calling her in this very tragic time ... but my heart is telling me that it would be completely inappropriate and rude to reach out to her through email or any other form of electronic communication.

I'm really conflicted as to what I should do. I know in my heart I should call her, but I don't want to upset her ... I just don't want to intrude on this very sensitive time in her life...

I'm at a loss as to what I should do.

Go with your heart. Give her a call to let her know that you are thinking of her and you are there if she needs to reach out. Then let her take the next step or not. Even if she doesn't want to talk right now, she will appreciate the effort.

absolutely go with your heart. Our minds stir us wrong many times. God speaks to our hearts, if she has put on your heart to call I would call bc God will honor your obedience:)

I can talk from experience. I lost my dad suddenly in October. And my friend who we talk very seldom. Sometimes years go by. She spent most of her child hood with my family. Riding horses going on horse vacations. To talk to her a few days after my father passed was the best we shared so many stories and talked well over an hour. Call her you will not regret it and she will love to hear from you. It took my friend and I a few days to actually talk as she tried calling but I was so busy. But the minute I had time I called her. And it did my aching heart so much good. So sorry for her loss it is not easy

You're right ... I should just go with my heart. I'm just really numb about everything. It wasn't even two weeks ago I was with her mother, and she was giving me advice on how it takes time to overcome fear of horses. I just can't believe this has happened..

Thank you so much for sharing this with me... your story has given me much more confidence that calling her is what I should do... I can't not begin to imagine what the loss of a parent is like (may your father R.I.P as well) ... but you're right .. I should call ...... Calling her is the only thing that makes sense to me.

<3 Thank you so much for your advice. I often forget, that more often than not, when your heart is trying to tell you to do something ... that it is the thing you should listen to.

I called her ... and I am really glad that I did. Thank you everyone so much for the boost of confidence for calling her <3 ... I probably wouldn't have, but the three of you really made me feel like it was the right thing to do.... and it really was.

I am so glad to read that you went with your heart and called your friend.

You know your friend the best. I find it hard to believe that if you were so close and growing pains separated you that she would have anguish if you reached out during this time. Consider mailing a card with a hand written note of condolences.


I am late with the advice, but I think you made a good choice.

So happy you did :)

I am glad you called her. It was the right thing to do

Thanks everyone. When I called her she did not pick up the phone, but she told me that she was thinking about me a lot and that it sincerely meant a lot to her that she was able to hear my voice today. She imediately responded and told me that after she is done with the planning of her mother's funeral and switching things with her mothers animals, and getting her life back in order ... that she would like to start seeing me again..
So all in all, it most definitely was the right thank to do <3

You did the right thing. And it sounds you were close to her mother too. So sending hugs and praying for you also.

I'm glad you called her. It always means so much when someone has experienced a great loss, to hear from friends, past and present. Knowing others care is a great comfort.