Just another rant
 

This past Friday night was my daughters graduation party. I had it at a pretty nice place, dj and all. My friend who I've known for 30 years and she is also my oldest sons godmother, comes to the party with her husband, her 15 year old daughter and her 21 year old son and gives my daughter a 50 check??? I know she knows that it cost me at least 30 a plate. I was miffed but just kind of put it in the back of my head. While she was at the party she gave my older daughter a birthday card because she didn't see her former birthday, $25check. At this same party I gave her daughter her birthday card with $30 cash in it. I just don't understand how she could be so cheap. She has money!

In the meantime I told my older daughter she could bring one of her friends who I know also and is alot of fun. She gave my daughter $50. She didn't have to give her a gift she was just invited because we know her and she knows my neices and all.

I just can't understand people sometimes!!

It has always been my understanding that you do not base the gift upon the cost of a dinner. A gift is a gift. Plus, it seems to me that it might be a lot of money for someone to have to put out. (I used to live on LI) It seems that perhaps that is a custom unique to LI. When I lived there, my daughter had a beautiful waterfront wedding, it cost us mega bucks, but we did not equate the gifts with the price per person. Believe it or not, someone gave my daughter $40.00. LOL. We were stunned, but I have since learned that you do not expect your guests to pay for your party. Just my input, which is what you seemed to be asking for. Congratulations to you daughter.

Something is better than nothing. I bet your daughter will combine all of her monetary gifts and get something really nice, and useful. Congrats to your daughter and new son-in-law.:)

Congratulations to your daughter!....I hope she enjoyed her party, this is the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another for her. I wish her well in what ever she decides to pursue.....

The behavior of some of your guests at her party can be looked at as a learning experience. The expectations of receiving gifts to off set the cost of the party should have never been an issue. The party should have been given so as to invite all of her friends to celebrate with her her completion of school. This was a great opportunity for you to help guide her in building good character and to instill in her grace, humility, gratitude,and respect. And what a great way to demonstrate for her not to ever give anything to anyone with expectations of *getting* in return......Good luck to her and I wish her all the best.

:thumbup: The party you choose to throw & the expense it entails is exactly that, your choice. There should be no expectation of a certain amount to be received. Unless you are participating in a gift exchange with a set limit, there in no tit-for-tat.

A gift is a gift and should be graciously accepted as such.

Congrats to you and your daughter

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

I totally agree. Honestly, I have never heard of expecting the same or more as a gift, as it cost for each of your guests to attend.

On a different note, congrats to your daughter. :)

I grew up in a family of hard working crawing their eay out of poverty family. We don't give gifts that equate to an admitance fee...but graduations $50 or $100 same for weddings and first baby showers in cards no tacky money trees lol.

Funny thing though as people got comfortable in life the tradition stopped!

We have been giving gifts for years to each others kids. The issue is 50 dollars is riduculous. Her older son is 10 days older than my older daughter and when they graduated the gift was 100 dollars. I just can't understand the 50 gift especially out at a place. I mean I had my older daughters party at a place and she had her sons party at home and 100 was the gift.

I was just irked in my head and never said anything to my daughter or anything I was just pissed. I mean even for Christmas she said no gifts a few years ago and then I find out she is exchanging with other "aquatences" of hers. I guess its time to say no gifts at all even for special occasions.

It seems that if I dont have a party my kids dont get anything!! My older son(her godson) graduated from college and we just went out to eat as a family after the ceremony and he never got so much a s a card from her.

hey i had an aunt, uncle and their two kids and boyfriends come to my wedding u wanna know what they gave me.......$5 in cash yup 5 whole bucks....i just about died when i opened the card...would have been better if it was empty. sorry your daughter got a bit slighted but hopefully she had the time of her life. congrats on her wonderful achievement.

I guess I'm sensitive to this now because she is getting a new puppy. Her sisters dog had babies and I was very excited that I was going to be an "aunt" and I was waiting the whole time she was having the pups. My friend was getting a girl and she would text me every few hours or so saying oh another boy. Well she had 7 boys and 1 girl. They went this wekend to visit her sister and the new pups. Everytime I go to the store I want to buy something for their new baby and then I get upset because I brought home 4 "new babies" and.....bubkis...nothing. Just a comment on why do I need another dog. Oh when she is getting a new dog we all have to be all happy and excited but when I got mine she didnt even acknowledge them.

I can understand how you feel on some level. Years ago we had a baby shower for my Daughter. There was a certain family who had a history for not being too thoughtful when it came to reciprocating. But it didn’t matter to us they get invited for the company. When it came time to open their gift it was a baby pj in a plastic frame type package. The card had all of their names attached to this one gift, that would be the four of them. My daughter thanked them and went on with the events. After they all left we were admiring some of the gifts when my daughter picked up the pj. package . It was then she noticed the sticker on the back, it was from Big Lots. We just laughed about it, they sure are consistent …..

Every time a family member is disappointed or annoyed with a friends (or family members) behavior I always ask them if this behavior is out of the ordinary. Every time they will respond that it is not, that it is typical. Then I tell them so why are you expecting something different??? You got exactly what is their norm, stop expecting something you never got in the first place. It makes life a little easier if we stop putting *our* expectations on others......

Wonderfully put!
You inadvertantly solved one of my miffs.
We have a close family friend always end up hosting the get togethers so we feed everyone, bring the party supplies etc.
We buy their kids all the super cool new toys on occasions etc.

On the rare occasion she hosts its potluck and everyone either brings their own extras or its whatever was cheapest or not at all...

We're not having them at a fourth of July party this year, we're done supplying everything for their good time.

Worse part they live off family members while they make more with one of their incomes than we do total household incomes combined.

I appriciate a frugal person but not a cheap one.

lol....I hear you on that one......I've had some of those types too....I call those types users and/or parasites......These types will leave the gathering with more than they came with either it being in their arms or in their gut.....or both...:rolleyes: