Just depressed
 

*Sigh* I woke up today just feeling blah. I am missing my Dad so much. He died in 2002 its been 9 years. People told me it would get easier, but I don't see how. All I want is to see him one more time, give him a hug and tell him I love him. I think about him all the time.... I am trying not to get into my depressed state, but its really hard. Its hard to put it behind me and not think about it. I would give anything to see him again. I haven't had a dream about him in a long time as well.. I don't want to say that I am forgetting him, but it is hard to remember all the memories I had with him. It's a really hard thing to deal with, I just had to get it out.. I hope I will be able to get out of this state and try to think positive.

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I understand, I lost my dad when I was 16. I lost my mom in my 30's. I remember thinking "I need to call her.. then remembering"
It has gotten better, I have almost (don't tell them I said that) grown kids.. my life has gone on. BUT I do think it is important to remember..

I would say find a creative way to put your memories down.. art, music wrting????
If the depression deepens you should find a suport group or councling to help you.. think of what your very much loved father would want for you!!!!

Just want to offer you support. I hope your day gets a little brighter. I think talking about him and getting your feelings out will help.

You will never forget, keep those nice memories with you all the time.

If you believe you are falling into deep depression seek medical help. Let them prescribe you happy pills. Your health is very important.

I understand the sadness with losing a parent and am so sorry you are going through this. Life is never the same and it is very hard to go on and feel happy. I send lots of love and hugs. I wish I could do more.

I lost my Mom 11 years ago and my life has never been the same either. And its funny that you say you dream about your Dad because my Mom is in about all of my dreams. The best thing I can tell you is join a church or a club or something and make friends. It is when we feel very alone that we get depressed.

Bless you hon! I hope it will get better for you and I will say a prayer for you. Hugs to you!

I'm sorry you're feeling unhappy. :( I haven't lost a parent, but loss and separation are the hardest things we humans endure. There are so many layers to loss, most of them bad, unfortunately. I hear you describing the loss of him in your thoughts, and that is sad in its own way.

I do think the best way to honor someone is to remember their love and honor their wish for you to be happy, though I have trouble doing that myself sometimes.

I am so sorry you are missing your DAD. I love the idea of crafting a memory. Perhaps a photo book of you and your Dad. Sending hugs to you. He is looking down from heaven and he will always be watching over you and ALWAYS LOVING YOU.

I lost my dad 4 years ago this past July. No one knows the special bond that a father has with his daughter and visa versa. Not unless you are one. The pain is immeasurable. I think of him all the time. You know what I do is whenever I see a butterfly I think it's him flying by me. I know it's weird but the day he died I bought a butterfly bush and it attracts tons of butterflies. It is very hard to live without him. He truly was everything to me. Just never, ever forget those special times you had with him. I speak of him often to my kids, and we laugh. I get down every now and then and cry, and it's ok to cry. It is a very deep sorrow that never, ever will go away. My daddy lives in my heart and I just know we will be together again. What gets me through is that I know he would be sad if he knew I was miserable or sad. I just keep saying, "I'm ok", I would never want to make him sad. He is with my mom and they have eachother, so I feel better knowing they are not alone.
I wish you well and I am truly sorry about your dads passing. Keep your chin up and continue to make him proud.:thumbup:

Girl, if you ever need to talk, I am here. I can't imagine losing my dad, I am so close to him. But I did lose my little brother, who I was super close to, he was 5 when he died and I often have days where I am just sooo blah. I can't stop thinking about him, I can't sleep, I just get in a funk some times and I won't even know why until I suddenly realize I either see something that reminds me of Connor, or it's day significant to him, etc. He died in June and his birthday was in July so those two months I'm generally really down.

On those days, I have to get myself out and about. I can't just sit at home as much as I want to. I take advantage of having a dog and usually just take him to the dog park, or go for a long walk, anything to get my mind off the pain. Though I will say, some days I almost "enjoy" just letting out a good cry. I hold stuff in a lot so I have a few nights a year where I just cry... and let it all out... and it does help.

Oh and whoever says time heals all wounds never has experienced such a painful loss, IMO. Sure, it may EASE up over time... but time, IMO, does not heal anything. You really just learn to live with it. I've come to realize dying is a part of life but it sure doesn't make it any easier.

I am here for you if you need to talk.

I am so sorry you are feeling depressed. I do know how you feel. I lost my Mom 18 years ago and I still to this day go to the phone to call her and of course my Daddy answers the phone. I dread the day I loose my Daddy, I know I will go insane. I have gotten so close to my Daddy since my Mom passed.

Just know you can come here and talk. I'm here for you also.

Thank you all for such the support. It means so much to me!! It really perked up my mood knowing you all care about me :D

:D Thank you so much! The PM helped me so much! You are so kind, I am here for you as well!