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JESSY_RN2B 07-23-2011 12:08 PM
I'm feeling like a terrible mom today
 
My DD just turned two on the 15th. This morning, I was picking up her toy room when I heard her calling "Look mommy, it's a s-p-i-d-e-r!!!

I am deathly afraid of anything that has more than two appendages and crawls. I glanced at the spider and it looked like a brown recluse to me. It has been very humid and raining off and on, no surprise all kinds of creepy crawlers coming out.

I took off my sandal and instantly killed the bug. My dd shrieks "Oh no mommy, itsy bitsy!" and proceeds to bawl and scream like I had hurt her.

I realised what in her eyes I had done. I killed her all time favorite song character..........the darned itsy bitsy spider.

She is still hurt and keeps reminding me by pointing at the spot in the wall where the beloved spider once stood.

I don't know what to say. I told her I was sorry, hugged, kissed and attempted to distract her but she's still upset. She's in her room right now singing "And the itsy bitsy spider" with a very sad undertone.

It's my only child, learning lots each day with her but I cannot help but feel like I just traumatized my child! :mad:

Not to mention that I had a mini bday party luncheon with the daycare kiddos and bought her a Minnie mouse pinata. She was so proud of it and showing it off to the guests. (You know where this is going).....

When we hung it to break it, she went nuts ovet the kids banging on it. She was horrified that anyone would hurt Minnie, we had to stop and take it away and I am sure the other kiddos were like wtf?

She's a nature lover like me, how the heck do I teach her what is okay in these aspects and what is not.

I am here in tears because of the stupid spider. She just turned two. She doesn't understand, I know.

Any thoughts, advice or similar experiences?

Thanks in advance

PiePiper 07-23-2011 12:19 PM
I have to say that your story made me laugh. I'm the mother of 4 grown children and I have 3 grandsons under 3 years old. I can assure you that you have not traumatized your only child and she"ll be fine. I would just not go out of your way to discuss it being she is a brand new 2 and if she does mention it just kind of downplay it and move on to something else she enjoys. Distractions always work at this age.

YorkieRose 07-23-2011 12:27 PM
What a smart little girl you have...I would try to explain there are good spiders and bad spiders..."Itsy Bitsy" is a special friend you can not kill...it is a friend you keep in your heart..but sometimes other spiders can be bad and bite...so only trust Itsy for now....

horsnaround 07-23-2011 12:33 PM
Poor little one. I would explain to her that this spider was dangerous and if it would bite her she could get very sick. And show her a picture of a safe spider and say now this is what the itsy bitsy spider looks like. And next time get her busy doing something else before you kill it She will be fine and someday you will tell her this story and you both will laugh. Take a deep breath the will be many more times you will feel this way. But you will get through it we all do. :)

JESSY_RN2B 07-23-2011 12:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkieRose (Post 3608688)
What a smart little girl you have...I would try to explain there are good spiders and bad spiders..."Itsy Bitsy" is a special friend you can not kill...it is a friend you keep in your heart..but sometimes other spiders can be bad and bite...so only trust Itsy for now....
Great advice Rose, thanks. I had not thought about that and I will try it :thumbup:

JESSY_RN2B 07-23-2011 12:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by horsnaround (Post 3608693)
Poor little one. I would explain to her that this spider was dangerous and if it would bite her she could get very sick. And show her a picture of a safe spider and say now this is what the itsy bitsy spider looks like. And next time get her busy doing something else before you kill it She will be fine and someday you will tell her this story and you both will laugh. Take a deep breath the will be many more times you will feel this way. But you will get through it we all do. :)
Thanks! That's just it. She's so innocent and thinks everything in life is good. Poor baby :)

FidoTheYorkie 07-25-2011 04:44 AM
Your not a terrible mommy ! You are a good mommy for killing the spider, these are extremely dangerous !
She/he will understand later that you did a good thing not a bad :)

Rhetts_mama 07-25-2011 08:33 AM
A bad mommy wouldn't be upset that her daughter was upset. I like horsnaround's explanation.


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