I need some good thoughts..
 

I am a extremely shy person and I avoid confrontation at all costs. But lately I have been having issues at work and I desperately need some advice.

I have been a Nanny for almost 7 years. I will be the first to admit taking care of kids is hard. But taking care of other people's kids is even more of a challenge. I am a very easy going person, I let things go and try to look on the bright side of things but I have been having some issues lately.

I am responsible for a 11, 7, and 3 year old. All of which, are in numerous activities and are on the go all the time. I have been with this current family since July of 09. So almost exactly 2 years.

I also use my car for the job and I since gas started getting really expensive it has really taken a hit on my budget. Because, she is keeping them so busy with camps, playdates, piano, extra tutoring, etc, it turns out all I do is run them around. Needless to say, I feel like a "glorified taxi driver."

So, along with using my car, I do NOT get reimbursed for gas. Not a dime. Because of this I am not able to do the things I would like to after work because I spent my gas budget running around her kids to all of their activities. Last month alone I spent 211.00 on gas. No, that may not seem alot to some, especially who commute or drive bigger cars. But I can not afford this...

I am trying to pay off medical bills from a previous accident I had about 2 years ago. I am doing the best I can, but I truly can not pay to drive her children around anymore.

Yesterday, while on the phone with her she was going over the schedule..
11 yr old hockey camp 9-2
7 yr old sylvan tutoring 11:30- 1:30.
Pick 11 yr old up after I pick up 7yr old
Then at 3 drop off 11 yr old at birthday party clear across town.

I said, ok sounds good. I will hang out with the 3 year old while the 7 yr old goes to tutoring and then we will go pick up 11 yr old at hockey camp.

She said, so your going to hang out in your car for 2 hours? I said, Yes, you know I have done this before, she usually falls asleep anyways.

No, I don't want you to do that. If she falls asleep sure, but if she is awake, no way. I am confused, I have done this before and she KNOWS this, why the concern all of the sudden?

At this point I was livid. I can't afford to drive back and forth all day with her kids on my dime. I just can't do it. There is a giant tree that I park my car under. I bring snacks and books and a portable dvd player. 99 percent of the time she sleeps anyways.

I said, Ok, well then we need to sit down and figure out a gas budget because I can't afford to take your kids around like this anymore. I am constantly at the gas pump and we should come up with a plan.

She didn't say much after that but said, we will talk tonight... I think I shocked her. I usually never say anything.

We have yet to talk about it. Her husband got home before she did, and when I got here this morning she was already gone. And I am a worry wart. I can't be without my job but I can't afford this anymore.

I hope I didn't overstep my bounds but I can't do this anymore.

i think you did the right thing Sit down with her and explain how much it is costing you. Hipefully you have been a good enough nanny that she will work with you on this issue. I am sure two years ago they where not this busy. Hoping it all goes well

No.. they were not this busy. Not at all. I hope all goes well too. Thank you:)

You have every right to be upset about this. I am so glad you said something. Now write down the points you want to make with her so you can stand your ground in a calm and professional manner. Hopefully, she just doesn't realize how expensive running the kids around can be since she is having you do it and not paying the gas bill herself. Most people in my area supply the car for their nannies use. She should definitely be paying for the gas. Best of luck with the discussion...you did the right thing.

I wish you luck, but you have to state your cause. I will say you can not blame someone for something they are doing that is causing you stress if you never tell them (that is a quote from my daughter -- yes I taught her everything she know:eek:).

This woman most likely does not have "money or budget" issues like many people do. It may never have occurred to her the stress the gas bill is causing you. You have to talk to them, if they don't correct it then it may be a time to look for another family... but at least you will know this time to not allow your car to be used.

Also.. while your at it... what about wear and tear? Tires, oil and repairs? Car insurance?

Thank you:) This is the first family I have been with that actually does not supply me with a car. At first it wasn't that big of a deal, but I can't do this anymore.

I also forget to mention, I pay for train tickets at the zoo, aquarium entrances, treats, the occasional breakfast, or lunch. I also have cut their hair for free as well. Not to mention things, hey while you are out will you grab this for me and I will pay you back.. and No she doesn't. It's just getting to be too much.

I also thing the same thing when it comes to wear and tear... I pay car insurance too... and the payment.

Keep track of your mileage. Keep a notebook, and write down every start and end mile. Find out what the going rate is per mile (this is often a state or federal rate) for using your vehicle for work. Then at the end of every week or month turn that in to her for reimbursement. The more she realizes she is using you up, she will rethink her plans. If it wasn't costing you to drive them it would be costing her. You have every right to be reimbursed, or ask her to provide a vehicle for you.

Do you have a contract with the family? If so, when it is time to renuw the contract then discuss a "per mile" rate for being a taxi driver.

If you don't have a contract, then you will need to discuss the situation in a very upbeat and friendly manner with both parents present. Follow up this meeting with a letter recounting the meeting so that there will not be any misunderstandings.

Even though you are extremely shy, remember, they are only human just like you. You have every right to discuss this matter with them in a respectful manner. You go for it, girl!

Why do you have to pay for their admission to parks etc? That is crazy!! You did the right thing by saying something.

Save every receipt....you shouldn't be paying the admission ticket fees or food costs. That is crazy. I agree that you need to itemize all of this and present it for reimbursement. She is getting away with a lot and seems clueless to the stress it is causing you. So speak up....you are in the right here. Big hug, k

I would definitely try to write down a weekly schedule (or even monthly if you can) outlining the miles you drive and then showing how much in gas $ it really adds up to. Plus the wear and tear on your vehicle - how much sooner are you going to have to purchase another car due to the mileage you put on, how more frequently are you going to have to perform mileage maintenance and purchase tires?

If she and her husband are in the business world, she should understand these things. Plus the $ you are saving her cutting their hair, paying for parks - RIDICULOUS!! I agree w whoever posted to start bringing her receipts.

Unfortunately, I have found as long as you are willing to give, there is someone who is willing to keep taking.:( I would keep the "talk" on an even, professional keel and just present facts. Hopefully she values how much you go above and beyond and will want to listen to your concerns bc she does not want to lose you for her children.

You did the right thing by speaking up. It sounds like she is taking a little advantage of the situation. And I am with Lil Sis, she probably don't have to worry about a budget like the rest of us. So, she may not even think about it. But you should talk about some type of car allowance. Tires, oil changes, etc. along with the gas. It is only fair. Discuss it, be fair, but don't give in. Times are to hard to make it right now.

It is a good thing that you brought this matter to her attention. She has to understand that you have to pay for the gas for your car and she should reimburse you. It's only fair. Good luck. I hope it all works out well for you!

You did the right thing - it can be hard to speak up to your employer! It is ridiculous that she isn't even giving you gas money. You should definitely save all receipts (gas, admission costs, odds and ends that you pick up for her...) and total them for her weekly/biweekly/monthly. Give her a copy and keep one for yourself. These expenses are not yours - they are for HER kids. Hopefully she will be understanding.

The mileage rate is 51 cents/mile. This link is pretty interesting: IRS Announces 2011 Standard Mileage Rates

Well...we talked. It was very non confrontational, which I am thankful for but I was not thrilled with what she decided. She told me she will not pay mileage,but she wants me to keep a log of my miles and we will convert it to how many miles to the gallon my car gets.

I am not thrilled,but it is better then nothing. She really didn't care about maintenance issues. I am saving receipts for admission costs and things that have to do with her kids. That will now be covered.

To say the least..I am getting something. In the meantime, I'm going to start job hunting. I am feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from the family. I feel its time for a change.

I'm in the same boat as you, absolutely hate confrontation and will put up with a lot to avoid it. But unless they're paying you a ****load of money as salary, then they are seriously taking advantage and should really be ashamed of themselves. You either need a substantial raise if they're going to expect you to continue to pay for raising their kids, or they need to start reimbursing you. Another point, what you have spent in gas, mileage, using a personal vehical for work etc., is a huge tax deduction for you. Track those expenses and Uncle Sam can pay you back too. And next time they ask you to pick something up "while you're out anyway I'll pay you back", hang on to it until they do. And hang on to the receipt, so if/when they don't pay for it, you can return it and get your money back.

It sounds like you did a great job maintaining a calm discussion. Sometimes you just can't fully reason w someone. Like you said, at least you are getting something. You would think she would not want to lose a good employee who takes good care of her most precious items - her children. Some ppl never realize what they have.

At least it is a start. And it will help until you find something else. I don't understand her reasoning. Does she not comprehend the expense of keeping a car? Obviously not!

She alone makes over 100,000yr. Her husband ones his own tile company and I am not sure what he makes..

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Cheap woman!

I'm sorry they are taking advantage of you and they surely are. I would definitely recommend you look for a regular job and then you could probably go back to school a few nights a week. I think you were wanting to go back to school anyway, weren't you? I wish you lots of luck!:)

I'm glad you talked to the woman and that you will be reimbursed for any expenditures on the kids and for gas mileage. The woman should have been more thoughtful about the expenses related to the activities considering she knew exactly where you were with the kids at all times. She should be giving you an allowance while you provide receipts so that you don't have to front the cash. With gas prices what they are, she wouldn't be able to find a nanny who would foot the gas bill.

As for wear and tear on your car, keep in mind that there are many jobs that do not compensate for that, rural post routes, newspaper delivery, and many more. On the other hand, I have known many nannies who were provided use of one of the family cars during working hours.

I wish you well in whatever you decide to do. Remember, you are a business woman and you are providing a valuable service to this family. It is a very personal job so it is easy for the parents to blur the lines and make you feel obligated. Remind yourself, this is business and you have a good position to negotiate from having provided 2 years of excellent service. :)