Empty nest suggestions?
 

Hi all,
So yesterday I watched old home videos as part of making a senior video for my son. It left me in a sobbing heap, certain that I will forever be sad. :cry:
Intellectually, I know I will adjust. My daughter left for college in Fall '09, and while I practically had a breakdown, I eventually did fine.
BUT, now my nest will truly be empty of human children. And, I've been a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. Now what? :idontknow
I thought maybe some of you YTers would have good advice, stories, thoughts?
I'd love to hear them. :)
Thank you, ahead of time. (I'm guessing this will help more than just me?)

Get more dogs. I have 4! get a hobby or a part time job to help ease away lonliness. My dtr lives next door but I still went through the depression of empty nest syndrome.

Johnna--I have 4, too!:rolleyes:
Zoe, our yorkie, was the canine equivalent of an "oops" :D I was thinking 3 was too many just prior to her arrival (courtesy of my college-aged daughter). Now we are, of course, head over heels for Zoe, but my husband would think I'd gone 'round the bend if there were more.

It is tough! My youngest left for college last fall. She is not really that far away and comes home often. My DH works evenings, so now it is just me and the girls (dogs) in the evenings. So far, I have done ok. I love to do crafty things and scrapbook so I have been catching up on some of that. But, I think in time, I will get a little tired of that too. I definitely want to get involved with some type of community service for animals or children. I just need to figure out what/where. I have a background in animal science/health care, so I am really considering rescue work or fostering. But, I am afraid my empty nest syndrome will turn into animal hoarding. I am kind of a loner so stepping out to meet new people has always been difficult for me. I do work during the day, so at least I do get out for that.

empty-nester here too! My daughter went away to college in fall 08, my son in fall 10, and my last yorkie passed away my daughter's senior year in H.S. This past fall was my first time living alone ever. I truely enjoyed the first semester. I went out to dinner, shopping, movies, etc. with friends whenever I wanted, drove out to visit my kids some weekends, but I didn't have to answer to anyone, be home for anyone, take care of anyone but me :) After a couple of months, I hated it :( My kids decided I needed another yorkie. They were gonna surprise me with one for Christmas, but then decided they should probably talk to me about it first & make sure I wanted another one. We talked over Christmas break & I thought about it and decided yes! They presented me with ZoE in January of this year. I don't know what I was thinking going so long without another yorkie. ZoE is such a lil bundle of love, I can't stand to be without her. I literally take her everywhere, other than to work, with me...dinner, shopping...& yes..even movies :D

I had a rough time when my youngest left for college this fall. I lost my husband to cancer Sep 08 so I truly have an empty nest except for my pups. In fact part of my coping stategy was to add another yorkie pup! That is where my little Annie came in the picture.

Be careful to watch for signs of depression so you can change course and head it off before it can take hold. I think I sunk a bit, but am pulling back out of it. All fall I kept pretty busy going to all my son's football games. Roadtrips! Then the holidays came and Dustin was home for Christmas break. After that I planned a trip to Virginia to see my oldest & his family and then to youngest's college for Family Weekend. Back home for surgery on my elbow (ulnar nerve entrapment) and that brings me up to date. :)

When I get some of this splint/wrapping off and my hand starts working again, I have 3 --half-finished afghans that need finishing. Love crocheting! I was working on them until my hand pretty much went useless. I also paint -- used to give lessons thru the Adult Education program here and before that in my home. I have thought of getting back to that (just the painting, no more giving classes) or maybe even taking some classes myself (like water color for instance). Then, I want to travel more, so I am planning at least 1-2 trips a year. If money holds up, I plan to stay as busy as this old body will let me. :)

Still, I long for the days kids were in and out of our home all the time, all their sports and most of all sharing every day with my DH. Miss him so very nuch. But I intend to see him again!

Hahaha. My son's friends like to call me an animal hoarder for fun...and that's just with 4! Some days I think I could be a hermit and do okay. I also have trouble with the meeting new people thing. I'm much better at introducing myself "in type":D

Hi Karan,
(I don't know how to quote just a few lines of a post, so sorry I have to keep quoting the whole thing...)
It's fun that we both have Zoe(E)s:) Tell me about the capital E on yours?
We just got Zoe in December, and I cannot believe how sweet and wonderful she is! I love, love, love her!
When you take ZoE places, how do you carry her? Especially when it's dinner, movies or anywhere they have food? How do you handle potty times when she's along?

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I'm sure you do miss him terribly. My husband is also my best friend. I'm sad for you.
It's good you do so many things! And, that you get to enjoy Yorkie Love.
I started knitting last summer, as I had many surgeries last year and needed to pass my time in a new way. I LOVE it! In fact, I just started a new afghan day before yesterday. I call this my "year of the afghan" as I'm hoping to give family afghans for Christmas this year.

Hi,
My 20 yr old daughter has been an EMINƎM fan since she in elementary school and just happened to find my pup with a breeder located on "Eight Mile Road" near her University. So she named her ZoƎ ...flipping the "E" around takes too much work on the puter so I go with ZoE :)

I have a Kwigy Bo Alex bag that offers total concealment and looks just like a regular purse...so no one knows she is in there :p She is so used to being in there that she doesn't make a peep...I just have a wiggly purse sometimes :D At the movies, I wait until about 10 mins into the actual movie & take her out & put her on my lap & drape my coat over her..she just snuggles & sleeps cos it's dark.

ZoE is pee pad trained & will pee on the pad anywhere. I can set a pad down on the floor of my car, a bathroom floor, my kids dorm room floor, etc., and she'll go potty on it.

Well, my nest has always been empty by choice, so I can't offer advice on adjusting to your youngest going away to school. But there are so many things you can do, there just isn't enough time in the day. What appeals to you? You mentioned knitting... there are lots of other fiber arts that might interest you - spinning, weaving, crochet, felting, sewing, embroidery... You can probably find a local guild where you can meet like-minded people and be exposed to all the wonderful possibilities. Check with your city recreation department -- and near by cities' as well. I've taken sterling silver jewelry making, ballroom dancing (that's where I met George!), dog training, and a lot of other classes through mine. Then there's gardening, painting, swimming, biking, you name it! There are so many things I want to do, I wish I could retire right now. I'm possibly the most shy person on earth, but it's so easy to get to know other people when you take a class or join a club with people who share your interests.

We did have a guest suite and single guest room at our house for use by the nieces and nephews when they were in town. Got tired of looking at empty guest rooms, so I turned the suite into my fiber arts studio and library, and the room into our computer room/office. Kept one bed and got a daybed, so we can still have guests when we like, but I'm enjoying all my space now.

Enjoy it. It seems like they don't go far or for very long. I like not cooking every night or trying to get them every where they need to go. But mine moved out nine years ago so I'm used to it. I do talk to her almost every day and we text several times a day. It was rough at first but I soon figured out she would always want/need me me.

I hear ya MOMMA! Oh and it is so true. :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

I talk to my two daughters ALL the time. They are never a further than a heartbeat away and they both are out of State.
I am sure being a mother you have cried...and from the pit of your soul..it can take your breath away.
They Love you with all their heart. They have mine........and yours.

I volunteer at the local no kill shelter once a week and joined the park district health club and go to exercise classes 4 times a week. Also, since my dtr moved out it seems I do more for her than when she lived here! lol It is an adjustment but you get use to it.

You just have to think to yourself that all this is temperary. Life changes from day to day. You never know what will be presented to you.

My story is a little unusual........ we married young and had our first when I was 18. Shockingly to me, he is turning 30 next week. My daughter came along a couple of years later. So by the time I was 32 I was going through, I guess you can say empty nest...... only because I was feeling that my 14 year old and 12 year old didn't need me. So we had our third.

When my first son went away to college, I kind of felt that it was his time and he was so independent, I felt totally comfortable....... but a couple of years later when my daughter was going away, I was a total mess. I went through the worst depression. I felt that I didn't have the type of relationship and closeness that I wanted to have with my daughter, and was afraid that I was going to have with her a relationship that I have with my mother - love - out of obligation. Well that passed (thank God), and a few years later, when I was 42, God blessed us with a little surprise. So now, we have 4 kids (all with the same husband) where my oldest has 23 years difference with his younger sister.

My two older ones have sinced married, and my daughter has blessed us with a grandaughter, and is now pregnant with her second.

So, enjoy your free time now. Make lunch dates, go shopping, take trips, romantic dinners, whatever interests you, because you never know what life brings you tomorrow - and that free time you have now, will once again be longed for.

Soooo true! Thank you. :)

I'm not there yet...but this is my plan...

1. walk around the house naked-perhaps the back yard too- $cre!! the neighbors I don't have to see them at steering committee meetings anymore! :p

2. get another Yorkie!

3. Wild parties on a Wednesday night..too bad neighbors..again I don't have to sit through PTA, fund-raising etc with them and pretend I care what they think and I don't have kids at home that have school the next day!

4. Watch movies with graphic violence, sex, adult content and the "F" word A LOT before 8 pm...in the living room on the "family tv" yep during the middle of the day even...because I can now! (well then)

5. Block the Disney Chanel all together using parental controls!

6. Finally do all those things that are on my list of someday! Oh how that list quickly grows....

Been there....You need to find some activity that you enjoy. Maybe a dog show? There is one coming up in Forth Worth at the end of the month! Try taking a class at a community college. You could volunteer your time at your local shelter. I sobbed when my daughter went away to Georgia. Now I have my 17 year old that will graduate in December but will be going to TWU only about an hour drive. Everything will be ok, its just another step in our lives...Maybe we need to get together soon for a shopping spree with our dogs. NorthPark Mall allows pets..:)

Hahaha...my hubby wants to have "Naked Saturdays" :eek:

[QUOTE=Maybe we need to get together soon for a shopping spree with our dogs. NorthPark Mall allows pets..:)[/QUOTE]

Fantastic idea...love trips to Northpark. I'll have the time in the world once summer arrives. :)

Living in south Florida, I see plenty people who are elderly...I notice two kinds..ones who are happy and friendly, and ones who are bitter and angry.
I often ask the friendly ones to tell me about their life...it never fails...these are the people who stay interested in life and people...

They look for ways to help others and keep busy with hobbies..I have decided to always stay as interested in new things as possible...and to enjoy the simple things in life...I had a great day yesterday and all I did was go to the Town market, took Becca and just talked to people, enjoyed the sun, enjoyed the other dogs...the world is full of lonely people and a few kind words can change a persons day...enjoy every minute of the rest of your life...have no regrets...

That's put so beautifully. I do like learning new things.

You have all pointed out such positive things. I know I have yet to discover many exciting and meaningful things in my life, and I look forward to it. I'll just miss my kids...20 years flew by. But, I will say, it is so awesome to interact with them now that they're "adults". I love it!
Thanks again. :)

Thanks for your thoughtful words.

I am sure your family will love the afghans. I did that for everyone 2 years ago and wondered if anyone would really like them. They loved them! I think handmade gifts are the best and afghans are so useful and comfy! I was careful to pick colors & patterns that went with their decors. I made them for the grandkids this past Christmas. I had made them baby afghans when they were born, but these were more to their liking -- Spiderman for my grandson, and bright, modern colors for the girls. They really like them too. I can't wait to get back to my crocheting when this arm heals. I checked and found a yarn shop next town over offers knitting classes so I may be adding another activity!

Had the Spiderman Round Ripple Afghan picture handy so I thought I'd share it. It is spread out on my pool table (it gets more use for this these days than actal pool playing).

You won't have trouble filling time if you want -- there is so much to do.

Empty nest here too. Once my son got engaged I knew it would not be long and I would be alone. I pretty much raised my son all his life by myself. I got Jack fist and at that time my son worked the night shift and I worked the day shift. As wedding dates got set and my son planning on moving out I began to worry about Jack being alone during the day while I was at work so I got Josie to keep him company. My son moved out in Oct 2010 that didn't seem to be bad. I could go to his house when-ever and visit. Then the big wedding in Dec. 2010 and oh boy things have changed so much. Mother is no longer #1:(. I don't get those phone calls every day and I don't want to barge in on the newly weds so I don't go over as much so it is just me and Jack and Josie. I love them dearly and I am so glad to have them, I still get the empty nest syndrom often. I have a BF who doesn't live with me but stays most evenings. It is still not the same. Some days I do feel like I am "depressed". But Jack and Josie keep me going cause I know they depend on me to be there for them.

Oh gosh; this is going to be my story in just two short years. I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses.

It makes me sad just thinking about it; yet I know it will be nice at times to get a little bit of my life back.

I know exactly how you feel. Oldest daughter got married 2 1/2 yrs ago, youngest daughter went off to college in 08. I thank God everyday for Bitsy, even though I have only had her for 3 months, I cannot imagine what I would do without her:)

I do the same with Zoe. When I read so many sad and/or tragic stories on here, my mind immediately goes to "I can't imagine how horrible that must be, and what would I do without Zoe!"

Empty nest here too :D I love it!! Yes I cried when they left...but I still have my DH :wub: my friends, and a job that allows me to bring my Yorkies with me...DH and I go on several vacations a year now instead of just one with the kids...Dinner and dancing almost every weekend now with our friends...We feel so free :bananna:We finally get to focus on us again ;).