so upset and no one to turn to
 

Okay I know this is personal to the max but I don't have anyone to turn to right now,and I need to talk.
My best friend of 12 years (I'm only 21) Has decided to join the army and she has been pretty evasive about talking about it. Tonight I sat her down and forced her to talk about it with me. she got mad and yelled at me, I told her I wanted to support her in this decision and she told me I could not support her the decision was made. Then she told me she is thinking of going into this for the next 25 years not the 7 that we discussed And she lied to me about it. when this first come up I asked her If she was thinking of going for life she looked at me and said no.
All I wanted was to be there for her and she told me that I should have helped her memorize the papers she was given but she never asked me to.
she has been isolating me from this and I don't know why. There was a incident with a girl she has in the army work out group with someone sent her a nasty message calling her a home wrecker and some other stuff The girl thinks it was me (just for the record it was not) and this was a bad blow for us. she is isolating me even more now then before and I just want to know what to say to her. but I am so hurt I can barely breath.

the about 10 min ago she came beating on my bedroom door and asked for her book I told her if that was all she wanted then she should leave but I got up and got the book and Walked over to the door I sat the book down but it fell and got wet some of the back pages are wrinkled she was so mad you would think i kicked her puppy she was upset and crying and I just don't know what to do

When I asked her why she lied she said "you dont break as bad when I lie"

How can i fix this, and do i want to. I just need a friend right now And my only real friend is the one I cant talk to.

I'm sorry that you and your best friend are having problems. Could it be that she is having second thoughts about joining the army? Maybe she's scared about having made such a big decision. It could be that she's isolating herself from you because she knows how much she's going to miss you and she's trying to insulate herself from the hurt. I would think she would want to spend more time with you but everyone handles things in their own way. See if you can talk to her again and tell her that she will always be your friend and you will always be there for her no matter where her life takes her. Sending hugs to you!!:)

I'm sorry you are going through this. What are her reasons for joining the army? 25 years is a long time, esp. if you are only 21.

Do you have a mom or dad you could talk to, or an aunt, older sister or someone you trust? Maybe ask your friend to sit down with you and have a long talk about how your both feeling right now. Wish I could help you.

Your friend is going through a huge emotional battle right now (personal exp) joining the military is a huge decision, and sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in how big of a step it is. It's possible she is doing all she can to cut of any emotional ties she feels are holding her back.
It is a tough time for her, and she may be feeling a bit of regret at signing those papers. Also, since I'm assuming shes around your age, this is probably the first real adult decision that she's made for herself and she's probably worried that it was the wrong one.
Until your friend can get it together, I recommend talking to a loved one about your feelings. Maybe they can put it into a better perspective than we can as we don't know either of you.

PS, I doubt the Army will let her sign a 25 year contract, the most I've ever heard of is 6 and the least is 3. I'm no expert on that, but I'm almost 100% sure that she can't sign on for that long. Maybe she meant she thinks she can see herself doing the military thing for 25 years...? And trust me, that is very likely to change.

I'm sorry you are going through this, and I hope you can find some light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember, your friend is going through a lot, and some people just don't know when they need to open up and talk about what they're going through. When she's ready she'll come to you and do her apologies and tell you what was really going on with her.

Good luck.

"All I wanted was to be there for her and she told me that I should have helped her memorize the papers she was given but she never asked me to. "

Are these the enlistment papers she was given? She can get a copy from her recruiter if she needs to look over them again.

I am sorry you are going through this, and I don't really have any good advice, but I know this poem has a lot of meaning to it. Maybe it will bring some meaning to you as well.



People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Sending hugs to you. It sounds like your friend is having second thoughts. Twenty five years is such a long time. And in the end it really is her decision to make whether it be a right one or wrong one.
I really do not understand what papers you were to memorize or why.
However, if you get the chance to talk to her let her know that she will always be your friend no matter what.

Thanks guys, I was so upset last night i cried myself to sleep not long after posting I just was so upset I could not think.

The papers she was given is stuff she was supposed to memorize and she wanted my help to do it.

no I don't have any family Just my 11 year old brother and my 17 year old sister
my dad passed back in '02 and my mom left us before that my grandmother is very sick so I could not give her this kind of stress. my mothers only sister passed in '05
Because I work full time go to school at night and raise two kids I don't really have any other friends.
Thank you all for the kind words It helps me feel better about this.

misslissa, you always have all of us, your Yorkie Talk family!:):animal-pa

I'm so sorry that happened. I have an idea. Call her and ask her if she'd come for a light dinner with you some evening. All you can do is reach out to her. She's obviously having some problems right now. You can be there for her if she needs you, but if she keeps pushing you away, then it is time to let it go.

I think it is natural for you to be upset that your best friend is leaving. It is like you are being deserted. I'm sure she is feeling many of the same things you are and has to be scared. I hope you can talk it out before she leaves. You have had so much loss in your young life that this has to feel like another person leaving you. You have such a full plate raising your siblings, which is a tribute to what a great person you are. Maybe try reaching out to a person at work or school and try and make some friends you can occasionally meet for coffee or a quick bite to eat. Hugs