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My best friend worked for the census and while yes the questions are crazy personal. A. no one in your state even reads them. B. it is how we learn. I'm sorry That you feel uncomfortable but they did try and make forms like this voluntary in some areas and no one would return them so what else are they supposed to do |
I received this and filled it out. Yes, it seems somewhat invasive, but all the information is available to the government through other channels anyway this just is a stream lined way to gather it. I can understand people being uneasy about ssn#'s, etc, but the IRS and SSA already have them. I figure I have nothing to hide, I have not attempted to defraud public benefits or anything, so I figure the benefits outweigh the negatives. |
Housing 1. A description of the building structure. For example a mobile home, one-family detached house, a building with two apartments, etc. a s**t shack 2. When the building was first built. 1872 3. When did Person 1 move in? 1872 4. How many acres? 5 billion 5. In the past 12 months what were the actual sales of all agricultural products from the property? 5 billion pesos 6. Is there is business on the premises? a brothel 7. How many rooms are in the house? 4,000 8. How many bedrooms? 0 9. Does it have complete plumbing facilities? does an outhouse count? 10. Does it have complete kitchen facilities? BBQ grill 11. Is there telephone service? I channel Mars for phone usage 12. How many automobiles are kept and used by members of the household? what is an automobile. does the 500 rusted ones in my front yard count? 13. Which fuel is used most for heating? Buffalo Chips 14. What was the electric bill last month? electricity???? 15. What was the gas bill for last month? $200 for the doctor that prescribed BENO 16. In the past 12 months, what was the cost of water and sewer? PONDS ARE FREE! 17. In the past 12 months, what was the cost of oil, coal, kerosene, wood, etc? Trees are also free 18. At any time during the past 12 months did anyone receive food stamps? If yes, what was the value? I thought stamps went on mail 19. Is it part of a condo? If so, what is the monthly condo fee? Isn't that a bird in California 20. Is the house owned by a resident with a mortgage or a loan? free and clear? rented for cash? occupied without payment of cash? I built my house from sticks and mud 21. What is the monthly rent? does it include meals? I built my house.... 22. What is the value of the property? i.e. how much would if sell for if it were for sale? How much is ten trees worth? 23. What are the annual real estate taxes on the property? I live in the middle of nowhere where there is no government last I checked... 24. What is the annual payment for fire, hazard, and flood insurance on the property? We just run for the hills 25. Do you or any member have a mortage, deed of trust, contract to purchase, or similar debt on the property? There are no dead people on the property. Well then again, maybe we did bury grandpa and forgot where we him him? 26. How much is the regular monthly mortgage payment on this property? Two rocks and a stick 27. Does the payment include payments for real estate taxes? i believe the rock does that. 28. Does the payment include payments for insurance (as listed above)? the stick does that 29. Does a member have a second mortgage on the place? how much is the monthly payment? nope just the stick and rock 30. If a mobile home, what are the annual costs for taxes, site rent, registration fees, etc. house is only mobile if the wind blows hard 31. Do you stay here year round? sometimes i travel to mars to fix the phone lines 32. How many months to the members stay here? 26 months a year 33. What is the primary reason the members are staying here? THINK ABOUT IT BROTHEL!?!?!? |
Personal Questions 1. born in either in the U.S. (with a fill-in for state) or outside the U.S. (will fill-in for country) BORN ON MARS 2. a citizen of the U.S. (with choices for natural born, born abroad, naturalized, not, etc). illegal alien LITERALLY 3. if not born in the U.S., what year did you come? 1400 4. at any time in the last 3 months did you attend regular school or college? (choices for No, Yes-public and Yes-private) my mama taught my skol 5. What grade or level was this person attending? (range of educational levels) 1-2 6. What is the highest degree or level of school completed? (ditto) 19th grade 7. What is the person’s ancestry or ethnic origin? Martian 8. Does this person speak a language other than English at home? if yes, what is it? Yes, Martian 9. How well does the person speak English? VERY WELL when not speaking in tongues 10. Did the person live here 1 year ago? i don't know for sure 11. Where did the person live 1 year ago? (fill in city, town, or PO) Was lost in a desert 12. have any of the following long-lasting conditions: ALL OF THE ABOVE 13. Because of physical, mental, or emotional condition ALL OF THE ABOVE 14. 15 years or older only; We have no shopping or doctors in the middle of nowhere. 15. females 15-50 only; given birth in the past 12 months? yes 12 times 16. have any grandchildren under the age of 18 living in this house? 37 of them 17. is this grandparent currently responsible for most of the basic needs of them? grandparent is breastfeeding each child 18. how long have the grandparent been responsible for them? since they were -10 years old 19. ever served on active duty? (variety of options, active now, active in the past year, on training, etc) all my duties are active 20. when did you serve? (list of all major conflicts, check as many as you need) bar fight in 1820, world war 5, the martion independence 21. how many years of active duty service (less than 2, or 2 or more)? 1057 years 22. did you do ANY work for pay or profit last week? I made 14,000 simoleons on my favorite game..... 23. at what location did you work? fill in complete address of location 1600 Pennslyvania Ave. Washington DC, Missouri 24. how did you get to work (checkboxes for all sorts of transportation types) On horseback 25. if an automobile, how many people rode in the car? ten in the chuck wagon behind me 26. what time did you usually leave for work last week? 4am 27. how many minutes did it take to get to work? 16,000 minutes 28. if you didn’t work, were you laid off? i get laid about every day in my brothel...what part of brothel do you no understand. 29. if you didn’t work, were you temporarily off? on vacation? illness? labor dispute? i labor hard every month see above. 30. if you didn’t work, have you been informed that you’ll be recalled within the next 6 months? i thought only crappy things in the store were recalled???? 31. if you didn’t work, have you been looking for work in the last 4 weeks? that's not the only thing i've been looking for...where did we bury grandpa?? 32. if you didn’t work, LAST WEEK could you have started a job if offered one? well because i am a vegetable as stated earlier prob. just lay here. 33. when did you last work? within 12 months? 1-5 years ago? over 5 years ago? in 1736 AD i was working somewhere?? 34. during the past 12 months, how many week did you work? 72 weeks 35. during the past 12 months, in the weeks worked, how many hours did you work each week? 2,000 hours 36. were you an employee of (private for profit, non profit, government, state, self-employed, etc) self employed 37. for whom did you work, fill in name Martin Luther King Sr. 38. what kind of business is this, fill in chicken wrangling 39. what kind of work are you doing, fill in roping chickens 40. what were this person’s most important activities or duties, fill-in making sure i don't cut off circulation to the chicken's neck 41. income section; wages, salary, commissions, bonuses, or tips from all jobs for last 12 months (fill in) $10.00 42. self-employment incoming from own businesse, including proprieteorships and partnerships last 12 months (fill in) i sell myself in the brothel sometimes. make money off my other bunnies 43. interest, dividends, net rental incomes, royalty income, or income from estates and trusts, last 12 months (fill in) 6 million left to me by my late dog Sophie. 44. Social security or Railroad, last 12 months (fill in) $15 45. SSI (ditto) 16 euros 46. public assistance or welfare payments or from the state or local office (ditto) 29,000 dong 47. retirement, survivor, or disability (ditto) we have to find grandpa to get the money from his death. it was in his pocket and we lost him 48. any other sources of income; VA, unemployment, child support, etc (ditto) Veterans of martian wars 9 49. what was the total income during the past 12 months? (ditto) 1 |
Personal Questions 1. born in either in the U.S. (with a fill-in for state) or outside the U.S. (will fill-in for country) BORN ON MARS 2. a citizen of the U.S. (with choices for natural born, born abroad, naturalized, not, etc). illegal alien LITERALLY 3. if not born in the U.S., what year did you come? 1400 4. at any time in the last 3 months did you attend regular school or college? (choices for No, Yes-public and Yes-private) my mama taught my skol 5. What grade or level was this person attending? (range of educational levels) 1-2 6. What is the highest degree or level of school completed? (ditto) 19th grade 7. What is the person’s ancestry or ethnic origin? Martian 8. Does this person speak a language other than English at home? if yes, what is it? Yes, Martian 9. How well does the person speak English? VERY WELL when not speaking in tongues 10. Did the person live here 1 year ago? i don't know for sure 11. Where did the person live 1 year ago? (fill in city, town, or PO) Was lost in a desert 12. have any of the following long-lasting conditions: ALL OF THE ABOVE 13. Because of physical, mental, or emotional condition ALL OF THE ABOVE 14. 15 years or older only; We have no shopping or doctors in the middle of nowhere. 15. females 15-50 only; given birth in the past 12 months? yes 12 times 16. have any grandchildren under the age of 18 living in this house? 37 of them 17. is this grandparent currently responsible for most of the basic needs of them? grandparent is breastfeeding each child 18. how long have the grandparent been responsible for them? since they were -10 years old 19. ever served on active duty? (variety of options, active now, active in the past year, on training, etc) all my duties are active 20. when did you serve? (list of all major conflicts, check as many as you need) bar fight in 1820, world war 5, the martion independence 21. how many years of active duty service (less than 2, or 2 or more)? 1057 years 22. did you do ANY work for pay or profit last week? I made 14,000 simoleons on my favorite game..... 23. at what location did you work? fill in complete address of location 1600 Pennslyvania Ave. Washington DC, Missouri 24. how did you get to work (checkboxes for all sorts of transportation types) On horseback 25. if an automobile, how many people rode in the car? ten in the chuck wagon behind me 26. what time did you usually leave for work last week? 4am 27. how many minutes did it take to get to work? 16,000 minutes 28. if you didn’t work, were you laid off? i get laid about every day in my brothel...what part of brothel do you no understand. 29. if you didn’t work, were you temporarily off? on vacation? illness? labor dispute? i labor hard every month see above. 30. if you didn’t work, have you been informed that you’ll be recalled within the next 6 months? i thought only crappy things in the store were recalled???? 31. if you didn’t work, have you been looking for work in the last 4 weeks? that's not the only thing i've been looking for...where did we bury grandpa?? 32. if you didn’t work, LAST WEEK could you have started a job if offered one? well because i am a vegetable as stated earlier prob. just lay here. 33. when did you last work? within 12 months? 1-5 years ago? over 5 years ago? in 1736 AD i was working somewhere?? 34. during the past 12 months, how many week did you work? 72 weeks 35. during the past 12 months, in the weeks worked, how many hours did you work each week? 2,000 hours 36. were you an employee of (private for profit, non profit, government, state, self-employed, etc) self employed 37. for whom did you work, fill in name Martin Luther King Sr. 38. what kind of business is this, fill in chicken wrangling 39. what kind of work are you doing, fill in roping chickens 40. what were this person’s most important activities or duties, fill-in making sure i don't cut off circulation to the chicken's neck 41. income section; wages, salary, commissions, bonuses, or tips from all jobs for last 12 months (fill in) $10.00 42. self-employment incoming from own businesse, including proprieteorships and partnerships last 12 months (fill in) i sell myself in the brothel sometimes. make money off my other bunnies 43. interest, dividends, net rental incomes, royalty income, or income from estates and trusts, last 12 months (fill in) 6 million left to me by my late dog Sophie. 44. Social security or Railroad, last 12 months (fill in) $15 45. SSI (ditto) 16 euros 46. public assistance or welfare payments or from the state or local office (ditto) 29,000 dong 47. retirement, survivor, or disability (ditto) we have to find grandpa to get the money from his death. it was in his pocket and we lost him 48. any other sources of income; VA, unemployment, child support, etc (ditto) Veterans of martian wars 9 49. what was the total income during the past 12 months? (ditto) 1 |
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