Altered words, new definitions (hilarious!!!) The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005} winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 2. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 14. Glibido: All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. |
LOL< that's hilarious :p |
Hee hee.....my favorite is Beelzebug - I totally know how that feels, now that we have moved to the coast of SC! I mean it's just crazy! They really do get into your bedroom at night and it's just awful! LOL! |
Hahah, that list is great! Funny stuff! |
I love those...will defintitely add a few to my vocab! |
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. My office has a serious case of this! Now I have a name for it ;) |
haha some of those are hillarious! |
THOSE WERE hilarious - I had to sound out a few but they really work !! Here's some more to add to yours Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-___expression, male bonding. 7. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes. AND; He said .. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . .You wear pants don't you? He said . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said .. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said .. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said .. .. We don't know; it has never happened. He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women? She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. |
LOL Those are funny. |
Good ones!! Val, I LOVE #2. Can bet I'll be using that one!! LOL |
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Villette!!!!! Hahahahaha those are way funny too! I read them and then got my husband and read them to him, too! Great laughs, this is fun! |
LOL...I had that on my computer ...don't know why I saved them but I must have been just WAITING for you Val :D |
Hahaha!~ I loved them all! |
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