im love sick and its not allowed
 

hi my yt friends. i've been on vacation for a week so havent been on here.
i missed everyone here, anyway let me get to the point. a friend called and said he was in the hospital. ps, i went there immediately. ok in sweat pants
and a sweat shirt.. i looked like s**t... anyway going to this friends room,
i bumped into my x husband who i havent seen or talked to in 5 years.. it was a very nasty divorce.. his mom was in there so i saw her for the first time too.
she was so excited to see me. my x told me that seeing her just made her live a few more years... she said she still loves me and misses me so much and i was the best thing that ever happened to her son.. my x even told me that he regrets everything that happened.... and still loves me... the thing is,
he is married with 2 kids.. one of his own and 1 of hers inwhich he adopted.
he is very unhappy and told me his whole life story. he now is staying with his mom just around the block from me now.. i am so lost and confused, and i still love this man.. im in trouble. he just called me about a half hour ago, just talking and said, gina, call me later,, i said no way... your married and i cant go that way. he said oh i will call you later.. i hung up so fast...
im all flustered, after all this time... im really scared now.. i need so support.
my mom is very upet , i told her mom , dont worry im not gonna do anything stupid... she dont trust me.. she cries...

What happened in your relationship that led to divorce?? You have to remember that people don't change but when things are bad or they want soemthing they can place the ilssusion of change...you may have a past with him but there was a reason it was a NASTY dicorce...you just have to remember those things..Good Luck!!

Hold on to your self girl! He is just like he was back then - WYSIWYG - what you see is what you get - he wasn't decent to you, now he is unfair to his wife - he WILL break your heart again - don't ever think that he changed!

i agree .. but feelings dont just die .. but dont let his man drag you into a bad situation .. he is married .. BE STRONG!!!

i believe it was drugs, but he doesnt do them anylonger.. but
he's MARRIED. my feelings are so strong and we look at each other like,
you know...oh man, this is not good for me...we used to fight all the time,
but also love each other to death... why would god put us back? is it fate?
also didnt tell you that the day i saw him, i had on his sweatshirt that i havent worn in around 6 years... he said , hey gina, thats my sweatshirt isnt it. and he also had on a sweatshirt that i bought him.. how sick is that?.

i must also say, it takes two in a marriage and it was my fault toooo..
i admit my mistakes and i have changed. i know what i have done wrong and tried not to do it with my boyfriend after him.. i have changed..
i know,,,, he IS MARRIED!!!!!!. let me stop now.. what am i thinking.. sorry
guys, my heart is just beating to fast and i had butterflies again when i heard from him

Maybe you should tell him that if he gets a divorce you two could be friends. Nothing more. But as long as he is married, he should leave you alone. I he separated from her?

not separated yet, he's trying to get custody of his kids.. my heart is
hurting so much.. i miss him... i think of him all the time and i know its wrong.

Don't Go There!!
 

It has to be so hard.............heavens when you've been married to the man
feelings don't just disappear. Try your best to put it out of your mind
because he may not be trying to seperate but just trying to rope you into
a relationship on the side. If you don't put it out of your mind, what will
happen is you won't go on to meet this wonderful man that is out there
waiting to make you happy. Just advise and only you can decide.

I know how you feel. This is your life & no matter what we tell you, you will do what your heart tells to. But first thing is that he is married & needs to resolve that before you can be in his life again. My heart is pitter pattering just reading your post. Believe me I have been there & know exactly how you feel. It is hard to control those feelings no matter how hard you try. But again he is married. I know that you had him first but you wouldn't want this done to you if you were married. There is nothing wrong with talking to him & helping him through this trying time for him. Just keep a distance until there is a divorce or legal separation. But again, it is your heart & you know what you feel. Good Luck & please keep us posted. I'm smiling knowing how your heart is racing right now & your mind is racing also. Man on man do I know how you feel. :D

Gina you really have to be strong. There are other fish in the sea. Listen to your Mom. She wouldn't say anything to hurt you. I'm sure she really loves you. You've been through that road already...do you really want to go through it again?

I think it was just the reaction of seeing him all over again, that has all your feelings stirred up. It completely understandable and normal. You just have to take control of the situation. Don't worry everything will work it's self out.There is somebody for everybody. He's just not the one for you. Just be patient.

Best wishes,

I don't think I would feel very good about myself being the woman on the side, would you? I think only more heartache would come for you and the other people involved in the lives of you and the man, if you began your relationship in the manner that your emotions want you to. This is a very difficult situation you are in...

thanks everyone, you are all so right, but i cant stop thinking about this.
so far all day now, the time is just flying by.. im scared to go home cause i know he will call tonight and only be around the block from me..i will only be his friend for now and try to help him get through this, why, cause im a nice girl. jerk that i am...he not asking for anything from me though.? just wondering why... just wondering thats all... im going to listen to all of you and try to keep my distance... i hope i can...even after i felt i almost lost my life, down to 94 lbs i was... i still care deeply for that bugger...

Think of it this way...
 

I am not a religous person, so when I say this, I say this b/c you questioned it. Why would God put you two back together? How about to test you as a human being? To see your reslove in doing the right thing compared to the emotional thing?
I believe in fate and that things happen for a reason. People do change as I am sure you have since your divorce. So allow yourself to be friends again, if you can handle ONLY being friends. Of course getting emotionally caught up with him while he is married is the wrong thing to do and if you feel yourself doing this, IMHO it sounds like you are, then distance yourself from him until you have a better grip on your feelings and can truly realize what it is you want for yourself.
Maybe it is meant for you two to come back together and maybe it is not. Everyone does deserve a second chance, just don't let that second chance break your happiness or your heart.
Best of luck to you no matter what you decide to do.

P.S. I do suggest you talk to him; nothing will be resolved for you if you don't. And if you decide that you don't want to persue anything now or later, let him know b/c if he truly cares about you, he WILL respect that w/o you having to plea for it.

the god saying was kinda just an expression...fate is the thing....
ok gina , just friends.thats what i put into my thick skull..
thanks for your advise. im still worried about me though, im still shaky