Jokes!!!
 

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
>
> "Is it true," she wanted to know,
> "that the medication you prescribed has
> to be taken for the rest of my life?"
>
> "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her
> .
> There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
> "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
> because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
> -----------------------------------------
> An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
> awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
> a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
>
> As he was about to get the anesthesia
> he asked to speak to his son
> .
> "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;
>
> do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
> if something happens to me ..
> your mother is going to come
> and live with you and your wife...."
> -----------------------------------------
> Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
> stop lying about your age and start bragging about it
> ------------------------------------------
> The older we get, the fewer things seem
> worth waiting in line for
> ------------------------------------------
> Some people try to turn back their odometers.
> Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
> I've traveled a long way and some of the
> roads weren't paved.
> --------------------------------------------
>
> When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
> think of Algebra.
>
> ---------------------------------------------
> You know you are getting old when everything
> either dries up or leaks.
> ----------------------------------------------
> I don't know how I got over the hill
> without getting to the top.
> ----------------------------------------------
> One of the many things no one tells you about aging
> is that it is such a nice change from being young.
> ----------------------------------------------
> Ah, being young is beautiful,
> but being old is comfortable.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Old age is when former classmates are so gray
> and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
> ----------------------------------------------
> If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
> you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
> --------------------------------------
> First you forget names, then you forget faces.
> Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
> It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
> - ------------------------------------------
> Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
> with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
> Today, it's called golf
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
> A WELL PLANNED LIFE????
> Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
> One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
> Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
>
> " Yes," said her friend.
> "My first marriage was to a millionaire;
> my second marriage was to an actor;
> my third marriage was to a preacher;
> and now I'm married to an undertaker."
>
> Her now friend asked,
> "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
>
> "One for the money,
> two for the show,
> three to get ready,
> and four to go!

:lol tears those were great! Thanks for sharing them! :)

Those were GREAT jokes - loved the last one :)

loved the last one tooo.. thanks for sharing

Loved the jokes , Thanks for sharing.

Thanks...I needed a giggle or two tonight, it's just another MIGRAINE MONDAY! ugh! But I did love that last one.

I love the one about golf!! It's really sad. I hate golf and hubby would love for me to learn to play so we can play together. Ain't gunna happen! Everytime he's watching golf on TV and Tiger, et al, misses an easy putt I have to say "Golf Sucks!"