a little humor.....about mom's
 

enjoy!!!!......1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."



2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"



13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"



15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."



19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."



22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."



25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.





We don't stop playing because we grow old;

we grow old because we stop playing.

George Bernard Shaw

ROFLMAO!!!!! too funny!!! "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you." i get that one from my mom AT LEAST once a day!!! i'm cracking up here!! thanks for the laugh!!!

Oh my gosh that was too funny. A ride thru memory lane, lol. I heard most of those. :rolleyes: Thanks for the laugh. :)

This was so funny! LOL. I am going to e-mail it to my mom. She was famous for saying "if you hurt yourself, you'd better call your father at work cuz I'm not taking you to the hospital!!"

hehe glad you guys enjoyed it, boy is it true or what? :lol tears

Yes it is true!!! You have to have kids to really appreciate that one! So cute :)

Jess
I've probably said 18 of those to my son!!! A great laugh for all who read.

ROFLMAO!!!! I love it everytime I read it!!!! IT'S SO TRUE!!!!!

I have heard every one of the things on the list and what's
even scarier is I have said every one of those things to my
own children. LOVE IT!!!

Oh no I just realized,,,,, I'm turning into my mother! NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!! She used to tall me alot of those,,, and I hate to admit it, but I have used a few of those on my own kids.

One that was left out that I always use. Good grooming,,,,,, "Do you want to go to the restroom? That's where we are going if you don't cut it out!"

My kids know that one all too well and Cherish is learining real quick!

I really got a kick out of this. It so true.I love it. Thanks for sharing. :thumbup:

OH, Thanks for that one! Classic.
When my oldest landed himself in the hospital (again) last summer, one of my first comments was, "Did you think I didn't have enough gray hair already?".

that was real funny, i just loved it.. im still laughing... its so true.
mom used to say the same things to me...still laughing.. thanks for sharing..