When to let go
 

I am so torn about how to proceed with treatment for our gentle giant, Ivan. some of you already know about him but here is his story.

Ivan came to us when he was 6 months old. His previous owners said his breeder wouldn't take him back so they wanted him put down. The reason....his ears didn't/wouldn't come up. Even though we had decided we were not going to rescue another dog for a long time we decided Ivan had to be saved. How could anyone let him go for such a frivolous reason? Their loss was our gain.

Ivan turned 8 on New Year's Day but the past two-three years have been hard on him. He has had severe seborrhea that has now turned his whole groin area into a blacken bruise that is IN his skin rather that ON his skin. Topicals don't seem to help. He has been on and off medications for the past year. It clears up but comes right back. His back and armpits seep and itch (those can be treated topically.)

The major problem Ivan has, however, is severe hip dysplagia. When our new vet looked at his X-rays she cringed. There is no cartilage-nothing to cushion the bone on bone effect and consequent pain.

He is on a heavy duty pain pill with another for his break-through pain but we have to keep increasing dosages.

Ivan seems to be drawing away from me and the little dogs. My dh says he still comes to lay beside his chair during the day and at night Ivan goes to bed when he does which is very early. Around 10pm I get him and let everyone out for "last call." Last night my husband must have accidentally turned on the touch-lamp because it was on and I watched Ivan wake up and get up after he had been there for three hours. It took him forever. He hesitates before going up and down stairs so I know he is in pain.

We know that his condition is only going to get worse so my question to you is: When does one let go. I'm not ready yet and I don't think Ivan is but I'd rather put him down too soon than too late. Dh says soon but not yet. I agree. But when.

I think that is a personal decision you and dh would just have to make when you feel the time is finally here. Your post brought tears to my eyes-I cannot imagine the heartache of looking at Ivan-and just knowing how he feels too.

I am sending you lots of prayers and hugs and strength.

Oh I do not envy your situation. That has to be so very hard for you. Unfortunately I do not think anyone is in a place to tell you when the right time is. I think that is completely in your hands. Everyone feels differently about euthanasia. I seen so many animals put down while working at the vets office, that I really started to get a very strong opinion about it myself. It sounds like your little guy is suffering alot. Only you can tell what is best for him though. Sometimes, even through all their pain, they still have that spark in their eye, and you just know it isn't time yet. I commend you for not just having him put down the minute he became inconvenient for you, as so many people do.

im so sorry you have to go through this. your in my prayers sweetie.

I think you can know so much by looking into their eyes. I hesitated off and on for a couple years with our toy poodle but each time the vet changed his medication or tweeked something, he would become his old self again. He did finally have a stroke and that's when I knew but the look in his eyes was so sad. He knew what was happening and looked so sad. I had the same feelings.... knew it would happen eventually but kept asking my vet when?? He said "you will know". That's the only advice I know to give too. So sorry you have to make this decision. Wishing you the strength....

As long as the light is there................................

Oh Lou :(. Ivan sounds so dear. What a blessed life you've given this little baby, he is so lucky to have you, and you him. I don't know the answer to your question...some people say you "just know". I had to put down my 20 yr old cat a few years ago, she had kidney disease for a long time...and then one day, she just went into what the vet thought was failure, and we had to put her down. That's my only experience with putting a pet to sleep.

All I can really hope for you and Ivan is that your heart will tell you and his heart will you when it's time. I wish I could give you a huge hug right now. It's so heartbreaking to let go. :(

This thread brought tears to my eyes too! I think the hardest decision is when to let go. As pet owners we don't want to see our beloveds in pain yet its hard to let them go as well. My heart bleeds for you! You will know when... I pray for strength for you and your husband with this decision.

I had to make the difficult decision to let my baby Chipper go last year. He had bladder cancer and I knew he only had a couple months left. I asked the vet how will I know when it's time and he said you'll know. One day Chipper was relatively active and healthy and the next day he was sprawled out on the floor, tummy down, head down, ears layed down and back, legs out to the side and his eyes just watched me. He never lifted his head and didn't sleep, just stared at me. His eyes were so sad. I just knew the time had come to say good-bye.

Thank you all!
I have had to put down three dogs in the past and each time I feel that I waited too long. In hindsight I feel like I was being very selfish making them suffer because I couldn't let go. I'm just so confused, plus I have dh to worry about. Ivan is his dog - or at least we said he was his dog when we got him. We are in a gray area between too soon and not soon enough! I really would like your opinions. I know it is ultimately up to us but what would you do?

It just hurts to see that big ol giant heap of fur just laying around or to look for him only to find him as far away from the little ones as he can get. I know Skeeter can annoy him to no end but he has always enjoyed it.

The other night during last call Ivan spotted a rabbit in the fenced-in back yard and took out after it. The rabbit was so frazzled it ran all over the yard but never thought to go under the fence. Ivan was right behind him the whole time. A few years ago he would have caught him but all the sudden turns really slowed him down and he paid for it later. Every time he got up for the next couple of days he would let out a yelp. It just sends chills down my spine and tears to my eyes when I hear that. My God he is only eight years old!

I think when the eyes look like they are no longer enjoying life and they no longer are interested in eating, the time is close. It is never an easy decision and one we always feel we waited too long or not long enough. You will know in your heart when the kindest thing to do is let him go. My heart goes out to you.

:( Your heart will know... :hug:

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

This made me cry. Letting animals cross over the Rainbow Bridge is never easy. Let him know you still love him even if he is broken. Your heart will tell you when it\'s time.

I have no answers for you, it\'s so tough.

Our Golden, Daisy, was around 8 1/2 years old when she got cancer. She had tumors all over the place. My dad shelled out a few grand and it gave her two more years of a good life but the tumors came back. Poor ole\' Daisy just started getting sick.

My dad told himself that when she stops eating... that\'s when he would put her down. She stopped eating one day, then the next... you could tell - she was ready to go. So, we all said our goodbyes, and it was awful. She was a good dog.