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Friends are Fickle! Arrgh! I am so angry right now!! When I changed schools in my second-to-last year in high school, I became good friends with some guys in my class (it was a school in a small town and the girls were really jealous and nasty). I had a special connection with one of the guys since we read the same books and could talk endlessly about politics, literature, etc. We have been friends ever since. Well, until now. He started going out with a girl more than a year ago and the girl never liked me (girls usually don't), but after I moved to the same city that they lived in, she started stopping him from seeing me! She was the first girl he had slept with, but we used to be such good friends. Just before he stopped spending time with me, he said that I was his best friend and that he eventually wanted me to be his best "man" at his wedding. We don't have any romantic feelings for each other and although we had gone out before, we were just better friends after. The girlfriend knows that we had gone out. Hehe, I don't really want a solution to this situation, I just need someone to understand. |
I guess I might have a jealous streak. I would not want my fiance to be best friends with another female. I wouldn't mind females friends but an overly close connection would make me uncomfortable. I would want to be his best friend as well as intended bride. I know it is sad to lose your best friend like that but it was probably inevitable. I am betting you will feel the same way when you find the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one you want to share everything with, the man you truly love! |
I wouldn't blame your friend. If he's in love with this girl he should respect her wishes. I strongly feel that dating is a path towards marriage and as you get closer to marriage your potential spouse should be your best friend. As FlDebra said "someone to share everything with". In this world you can only be fully transparent for very few people. If you love your friend, the nicest thing you can do for him is leave them alone. In time the girl will see that you aren't a threat and possibly you will be able to double date. You cannot hope to be as close to a guy in a relationship as on that is single. Though it is a silly thing and I don't necessarily agree with it: The Ladder Theory can explain what and how guys think. (generally speaking, guys like yorkies do not always follow the standard and there are many many breeds out there) |
My daughter is going through a very similar situation. Her's differs in that the girl that her guy friend is dating has a guy for a best friend - and that's ok. :rolleyes: My daughter has been best friends with this guy for a couple of years - they did everything together and when he started dating this girl - they all went together. She's always had a group of friends that meet up or even go on trips together. It's just sad that it happened the way it did. I've always told my kids that it's good to have friends of both sexes... sometimes the opposite sex is a better friend. I think it's hard for some people to believe that there's nothing sexual going on. There's a lady at work that walks with her friend during her breaks. Everyone calls him her "boyfriend" but it's not like that. It's really irritating that 2 people can't be friends without people assuming that something else is going on. You can tell when there's more to it. I agree with Debra's post too but I just wanted you to know that I understand. |
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