Yorkie Mommy Needs Help!
 

I have a BA in Psychology and have always been the rock for all of my friends. Never in one million years did I ever think I would be sitting here asking for advice. You see, I am a victim of domestic abuse, live with the abuser, was laid off from employment in January, and have had no luck with finding resources for an exit plan here in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I have two furbabies and a son in college who also lives with me. My family is torn apart, and I could find myself in great danger if not careful. I don't have any friends with the ability to house me and my two dogs without conflict. I don't have any housing or employment options either. This man makes sure that all of my unemployment is spent on living expenses, and I basically walk around with no money in my pocket at all times. I have a very impressive resume of skills, but even with posting my information on more than 20 job sites, I haven't had a single response to date. I know there are many in my situation, and my God knows that my heart and prayers are with those very people, but perhaps few are as close to being homeless as me and my furbabies. For the first time in my life, I am scared to death. I've always prided myself on being a strong, independent and self-sufficient woman, but feeding my child's prepaid college fund and raising him on my own from age 1 has exhausted all of my finances. If anyone has any advice, I am more than willing to listen. I am running out of time, options, and most of all....hope. Blessings to all....Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

I don't have advice but wanted to say I hope you find the way and means to get out of this situation soon. Noone deserves to live like you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

HUGS!!

Does this man work? IF so, I'd try to get a restraining order... stay living where you are now and get him thrown out and have to at least pay the rent. Is your child his also? He does not help with the bills for his college? Can you apply to jobs in different parts of the country and move your son and yourself? I feel soooo bad for you, this is a terrible situation to be in. I can only think of things like a shelter for battered women or getting HIM out of the house instead of you. Please be careful what you put in a public forum also... there are ways to get websites you've been to off your computer and you could find yourself in even more trouble. Be safe!

Ahhh...Please keep the faith, you sound like a good person and you deserve a happy and stable life and home. I know FL is going thru a tough time right now :( - Prayers for you and your son and furbabies :)

I do not have advice but I can keep you, your son, and your yorkies in my prayers. I hope things work out for you.

So sorry to hear this, sending prayers to your way:hands: maybe a church will be willing to help somehow, a local shelter for domestic violence maybe help you too, or point to a better directions, Hugs to you.

Sorry you are in this position. Definately contact the battered women's shelter near you. If nothing else, you can get some counseling there and ideas to improve your situation. Definately look to churches in your area. Many of the larger churches have pograms for abused family members. Some can even help with temporary living expenses when they verify your situation. Call an abuse hotline, they will have more ideas, I'm sure. Time to reach out. You can always contribute back when you get solid on your feet again. Do not let pride keep you from taking a little help.

As far as a job, don't rely on online resumes! You need to get out and present your resume in person. The job market is tough -- they want to see initiative and meet you in person. Get some good walking shoes and start making the rounds of businesses you might be compatible with. If no luck, step outside of your training and look elsewhere. You might have to accept something beneath your qualifications just to get you on firmer ground. There are plenty of college grads working at daycares and retail just to get through the difficult economic times.

You need to make an emergency plan NOW. You won't be able to take pets to a shelter, so find a friend or family member that can take them temporarily on a moment's notice. I am not sure if a shelter will be able to house your college age son either. Have him find a friend or family member willing to let him stay on a temporary basis as well. You need to have this in place so if the situation becomes too bad, you can enact your plan. I know a good exit plan will include a job and money. But you need a contingency plan for now too. I think once you have a firm plan, you will feel so much better. There is a horrible feeling to not knowing about tomorrow. But once you have a plan, you get some control back. Most of all, do not allow yourself to be in danger! If you feel it is imminent, just call the police or walk into the police station. Get yourself somewhere safe where you can regroup and get help. I pray you and your son find a safe place to live and your abusive spouse finds help for his sickness.

Thank you, my friends!!!!
 

A big thanks to all that are emotionally with me at this point in my life. I registered with Women in Distress on Friday and will be attending group meetings. I also received a call from an old co-worker stating that there may be an upcoming position that I would be able to fill nicely. There is so much power in prayer, and I thank God for my YT family and all the prayers I've received thus far. I do need a plan, but sometimes when life deals you an exorbitant amount of problems, you haven't the ability to see the clear path ahead of you. I am scared...I won't lie. Right now, my concern is getting my life in order so that I can rid myself of this person for good, find another home for my son and my furbabies, and live happily ever after. One big lesson in domestic abuse is that often we fail to even identify it. The second is finding the ability to overcome the insecurities in order to feel confident that you can make positive change in your own life. I continue to have setbacks, but as of now, I know what I need to do and will do it no matter what.

Yes, this person does work, but manages to take every penny I get from unemployment so I never have any money. I can't live here without his help. My son is not his either. It's been rough raising this little big man on my own. Children are not cheap, nor do they come with instructions. He is, however, very grounded, and still has his first job with Petsmart (2.5 years), but even his hours have been cut severely due to the economy. He is also doing very well in college and is not aware of what I go through. I hide it very well. Also, together, we don't make enough to live anywhere in this very expensive part of Florida, and moving to another state is something that is do-able, but only with savings to do so. I would love to pick up and leave. I did seek assistance from a woman's group in the area, and at least I am beginning to establish a plan and have documented all his information in case something happens to me. I thank God for my YT friends and will keep you updated as things progress.

i will be praying for you

My mother lives in Coconut Creek very close to you, last time I was there we went to a mobile home park and they were very very affordable in that are... they werent to bad either... my Aunt just bought hers for 5000 since the owner had passed away and her children were located up North... Im sooo very sorry to hear of your situation and hope that you find a way out of there. Being a single mom I really hope you will be okay... Ill keep you and your son and furbabies in my prayers

i hope you find a soluction to your problems and get that job so you can leave that losser sometimes its better to be by your self with kids than being misserable .if the town where you at is expensive move some where where you can afford with your son there places in fl that are not that expensive you know that believe me you dont have to live like that think about your son and your self how happy you will be with out the sinficate other good luck girl i am praying for you and your son and your fur babyies

Good for you for taking a very tough first step and getting help from the women's group. It is VERY difficult to think of a plan when we are so stressed we can barely get through the moments.

You are a smart and strong woman and you will make it through this, I know that you know that! Keep moving forward with each day and never go backwards... thats the only way to gain yourself back!

Glad you are working on a plan. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

Thank you for your love and concern, Gina & Lexi. I will keep you updated as things progress. I got a miraculous call today and have an interview on Friday. I know it's because all of my YT friends are praying for me. There is so much power in prayer in numbers. I never realized just how much. Love and blessings...Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

Registered with a local women's shelter for therapy and a plan. Ironically, I got a call today and have a job interview on Friday. I really need this job, but will not seem hungry going in. I will be positive, professional and perfect!!! It will mean moving 100 miles north, but this will be ideal. This is the chance that me and my babies (the ones with fur and the one without) needed. I know my luck is changing because of all my YT support and prayers. I love you guys!!! I will keep you all updated....Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

Usually also when there abusive to you then there abusive to kidss and animals ...Take care don't let hi, know whats going on same thing about the # phone do something with it I went through this with 2 husband now he passed away and I don't have to feel I always have to look back Take care Sending prayers your way:animal-pa

You are sooooo right, and things are looking up. Perhaps, next week I will have some really good news. I registered with a women's shelter and am participating in group therapy and creating a plan. I had no idea so many were in my situation. My son is 19 and BIG...football player. I don't dare let on to what this man is doing, and the idiot is smart enough to do it when my son is not around. I am not sure what my son would do, but I don't think it would be good. I have always prided myself on having "no drama," but boy oh boy when it finds you...it doesn't want to leave!!!! Thank you for your prayers, my friend. Poochie Smoochies from Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

My son is grown, but lives with me. He would probably kill this man if he had even one clue!!!! I know you know how this feels, because you've lived it. It's so refreshing, yet saddening, to sit through group and hear the horror stories. Mine is not as physical as he is verbal. It's the alcohol that turns him into a demon. I like to leave before he comes home and have learned to call to see what kind of mood he's in. He changes so fast. This is what is so frightful. I got some very useful information from a local women's center for domestic violence and am in the process of creating a plan. I am hoping my interview on Friday works out. It would be ideal!!!! Thank you for your love and blessings, my friend...Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

Just checking back in on your thread to see how you are doing. Thankful for the good news that you have contacted a Women's center and also have a good job interview on Friday! Sounds like you are finding yourself again and moving forward. Keeping you and yours in my prayers!

I will send up some extra prayers that things work out with the interview. And glad to hear you found some therapy and you are in the processing of having a plan. Don't get weary things will turn around for you. Take care. :)

Prayers and Hugs coming to you from Oklahoma!! Keep your eyes focused upward.

God bless you and your son (and yorkie babies)! You've done the toughest part already...reaching out, speaking up! Kudos to you!! My mom put up with an abusive relationship for 20+ years (didn't do us girls any favors!) All we could do was watch. Let your son know what's going on though. Kids know when things aren't right. But boy oh boy...when the kid(s) stand up to "Dad"...look out! I'm not a health care professional but I've lived as the child of an abusive marriage...scary!

Ideas: Housing for your Yorkies - any YT'ers near enough to "foster" for awhile? Housing for son - college dorm or roomie available in a cheap apt (college towns are great for those)? Housing for you - relatives, friends, co-workers, church family? Your unemployment check - open your own account at a different bank and have the check direct deposited...ASAP! Your personal safety - take personal protection classes then buy a gun (don't count on the "authorities" to protect you! they don't!!) Restraining order? ok, good to have for legal reasons - absolutely useless otherwise.

My prayers too are with you and yours...stay strong and stay aware!

Hello,

I dont know if anyone has mentioned this but I was watching the Today Show and I thought maybe this might be an option for you.

Its a shelter for women and their animals of domestic violence. Im not sure if they have one in your area but they have 8 locations so far. Here is there website: American Humane: Protecting Children and Animals Since 1877

I am sooo sorry for all you are going through... You will be in my prayers.

I am just now seeing this thread and wanted to say I am praying and pulling for you. Like someone else said, you have taken the first step, which is most difficult in this case.

Please keep us updated, I will be thinking about you. Big hugs from me and my boys!!

I will check into this, too. Things are a bit better and there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's because of all the love, thoughts and prayers from all of my YT friends. My babies are so precious to me and I would live in my car before I give them up. It's just not an option. God blesses those who help others....Thank you, my friend....Lisa

Thank you soooo much!!!
 

Thank you so much for your good wishes and hugs. I will definitely keep everyone up-to-date. I will have more to report after my interview on Friday. Blessings to you and your boys....Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

I'm Not Alone
 

I'm not sure who I left out, but I am so filled with thanks and gratitude that it's really hard to put into words. Quite often, in the face of adversity, you find that friends you thought were friends never really were. On a positive note, I have found that my YT family, people that really don't know me, are reaching out with blessings, prayers and love, something that has given me back that sparkle, that surety that helps me get through each day one at a time. You guys have given me great ideas to help implement my plan, and have shared stories that are only too similar to my own. It's easy to say, "You don't understand," especially when you feel alone and isolated, but somehow my heart knows that you all, in your own way, understand what I'm going through, and this also allows me to digest the fact that I'm not walking alone in this very difficult battle. May God bless you all, your families, and your lovely furbabies....Lisa, Lilly & Jesse

I have no advice for you-but can see that you have received wonderful advice thus far. I am sending lots of prayers and hugs your way that you can get through this difficult time. I am pulling for you, your son, and your furbabies. Good luck on that interview!!!