Wedding Day Should I be Upset?
 

Well let me start by saying my daughter did not want a big wedding. The groom's parents wanted a large wedding with all six of her kids in it. My daughter so I didn't say anything, but I'm paying for it.

At the rehearsal groom's parents brought six extra people only to watch,after we sat down for dinner keep in mind there was 20 people there. Dinner was finished and I went to check on my son when I got back everyone was gone and the waiter said are you paying the bill 480.00 later when mentioned to the groom's parents they said they would pay half. I'm starting to get upset now.

A few days before the wedding the groom's parents were ask if they had ordered there tux's and they said no and ask if we would do it. Three tux's ordered and it cost 35.00 extra for each tux for being late. The wedding was at 3 at 2:30 I received a call from S&K advising tux's had not been picked up. Parents were called and they advised that it was to much money and they were buying there own suits.

Three o'clock now no groom's parents or kids waiting 45 minutes they showed up like nothing was wrong. I'm really mad now, also one of there daughters had on a white dress, I'm a guy but I thought you did not do that. After everything I told the groom's parents the tux's had to be paid for anyway and they advised that they were not going to pay for them. So I had to go and pay the 400.00 for the tux's they did not pick up.Should I be mad? Here is a picture of my daughter I love her to death but I was not happy.

We are in the process of planning our daughter's wedding and I'd be mad, my husband would have blown a gasket. We are not made of money, the economy is bad, and even if it weren't there's a thing called manners and etiquette. Now how do you handle it without upsetting the wedding I don't know.

Your daughter made a beautiful bride.

First of all, the brides parents pay for the wedding(which you already know), the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, and not just 1/2 of it, ALL OF IT.
And as far as the rest, yes, I would be pissed too!

By the way, your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! It's unfortunate that her in-laws are jerks!

:)You have every right to be upset. My parents paid for my entire wedding 13 yrs ago. Even though my parents were more than willing to pay for it...i INSISTED that my in-laws pay for the rehearsal dinner...in FULL! (and they did) Did you daughter ever say anything to them? I know she probably doesnt want to get on their bad side since she did marry their son. I'm daddy's little girl and theres nothing he wouldnt do for me...BUT there is NO WAY i'm letting someone take advantage of his kindness.

Sorry that you had to go thru all this. Just remember though, no amount of money can ever make up for the great memory you and your daughter shared that day. Your daughter looked absolutely stunning!

First off, beautiful beautiful picture, your daughter was STUNNING on her wedding day! Congratulations to you!!

Sooo rude of them to leave when you were out of the room and not say a goodbye to you after the rehearsal dinner!! Groom's parents sound like complete idiots and VERY selfish people. However, they are now her in-laws (for better or worse)... I ABSOLUTELY hate to say this to you, because they are clearly in the wrong and should not be able to get away with it, but I'd have to say 'suck it up and smile' for your daughter's marriage's sake. Thank goodness you do not need to really be involved with their life anymore, they sound like people I wouldn't want to have in my life. I am sorry they stuck you over so many times. Pretty sad and you hope that what goes around, comes around.

Customarily, the groom's family should have paid for the rehearsal dinner. They sound cheap for lack of a better word.

What a great picture of the two of you - your daughter was beautiful on her wedding day.

Hopefully, your future interactions can be limited to only the groom and not the rest of his extended family!!!

Wow this is totally different in my culture....the groom family pays for almost everything....even have to bring gold to the bride and her family...the only thing i believe the bride family has to do is pay for the invitation and flowers....

but being an Asian American and growing up...usually now the bride and groom to be would put money together to pay for the wedding...not the parents...

btw i would be beyond pissed!

I had a similar experience when getting married. My husbands family insisted on a 9 course traditional chinese banquet, and all the budgets get blown up and things get a little out of hand, but just remember you guys are family now! Just save the receipts and get reimbursed! :)

It took a long time for me to be able to enjoy going to a wedding after planning my own.

Your daughter is beautiful!

You know, I think the bride and groom should plan their own wedding, then the familys can help get things organized. It should be clear upfront who is paying for what. The grooms parents should tend to all the grooms needs if necessary and not expect the brides family to do this. The grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. You and your daughter needed to have things settled before hand. I'm sorry the grooms parents are so ignorant. If it were me, I'd buy a book on wedding edtiquette and give it to them. Doesn't sound like the kind of folks that your going to be sitting down to dinner with anyway.

Well hell's bell's yes you do have a right to be very upset. That was kind of the way it was with my daughter's first marriage. DD wanted a very small wedding but grooms mother wanted a big one. Fortunately, they did most of it. For you daughter's sake, there is probably nothing you can do but fume for awhile to yourself. BTW, your daughter looked gorgeous.

I would be mad!!
 

grooms family is to pay for rehearsal dinner (all of it ) and all flowers, and groom cake. That is the way it is wrote out in most of the books and the way we did it. When it come to pictures, my mom paid for a wedding book of pictures for me and the ones she wanted, the grooms family picked out and bought their own pictures. Yes I would be very up set.

After my sisters wedding I decided I wouldn't put my parents through that kind of he'll. After my brothers I decided I was never getting married unless it was a quicky service in vegas and I would pay for it.

We should compare horror stories.

Oh yeah I would be mad. There are certain things each family pays for. Expecting YOU to tote the note was unbelivably low class and basically insured that there is going to be hard feelings from the get go.

You daughter looked beautiful! Sorry the grooms family were so rude and for lack of better words cheep!


This is why when I was going to get married back in 1992 that we opted for a very small wedding. At the time my oldest sister was getting married and so was my husbands older sis too. With all the stress both sides of the family were going through with our siblings upcoming weddings, We figured why stress ourselves and our family out with our wedding so we did ours very simple and small. I am so glad that we never had the stress involved with your typical wedding!

I guess it depends on how traditional you are, but these days a lot of people are splitting everything in half. I think it's wonderful, and is exactly what I will be doing!

Sorry about your situation, I hope everything clears up! Your daughter is beautiful on her wedding day!

Your daughter looks so beautiful in the picture! It's all done and over now and probably not allot you can do now exept hope that your new son-in-law doesn't think your aways there to foot a bill. My daughter was supposed to get married last October. Luckily in the month of June she had big second thoughts and came to us crying and upset that she coudn't go through with it. With the family that guy has we were relieved. He was becoming quite controlling of her and I'm so glad she saw the light. We now have her whole wedding attire. I'm having it preserved for the day she finds the right guy. We lost allot of deposit money but figured it was probably nothing compared to what it would have been to get her out of a messy divorce sitution. DD's ex's family was good at adding to the list of invites and never offered up anything. We knew we'd end up paying for ALL of it. Just hope now that your daughter will be happy and know in your heart that you did all of this for her and no one else. You wanted her day to be special and that's why even though you were upset you did it anyway. Look to happier days and keep peace for the sake of your daughter and any future grandbabies. That's what's important, not the money. It's sad the way it worked out and I don't blame you for being upset. You can come here and vent if you need to. Wishing you peace of mind from here on out!

No I didn't say a word just sucked it up. I wasn't going to upset her day. I would never do that.I will always be there for her and she knows that. I forgot to mention the DJ we hired ,he didn't play any of the songs my daughter wanted and the dad daughter dance the song we picked out two years ago he did not have that song either so we didn't get to dance to that. It will be ok in time. I am blessed with three beautiful children. I have my oldest daughter getting married in three weeks so I have that one to look forward to. When I got home one thing I knew my little brown eyed buddy Pocket was there looking at me. I spent time with him, he always puts me in a better mood.

So sorry you had to foot the bill for more than you should have.

The picture of you are your daughter is beautiful!

Best of luck with the upcoming wedding of your oldest daughter! :)

Ughhhhhhhhh...I would be so far beyond angry as well. Actually, my in-laws did pretty much the same thing 15 years ago...on a slightly smaller scale though. My family isn't affluent by any means, my mom pretty much raised myself and my brother alone as my dad passed when I was 11. She spent every last penny she could to make sure I had a nice wedding. I wanted small as BIG is not my style. Anyway, my mother-in-law pretty much demanded all 5 of her children be in the wedding in some way. We ended up having to pay for their tuxes and to have the girls' dresses made. And to top it off, they didn't do a d@^^n thing for the rehearsal dinner...my brother and his wife paid for everything. If it weren't for my family (and the fact I had 2 jobs while in college to help pay), we would have probably have had to go to the JOP. I was appalled at my future in-laws lack of responsibility and respect but am so thankful to have a family that went out of their way to make sure my day was special. I am sure your daughter feels the same... you are a wonderful dad and a class act not to have blown your top when all this was taking place. :)

Most importantly, your daughter was gorgeous...I am sure she will never forget all that YOU did to make her wedding day so very special.

HUGS!!

So, how was your older daughter's wedding? Did she get married yet?
Your daughter looks so pretty in that picture!

Wedding
 

Yes........you should be very disappointed
Congratulations, your daughter is beautiful and looked very happy.
This groom's family was rude, and sneaky.

Parents should want to share in their son's wedding day, if they couldn't afford to pay their share there would be no shame in them telling you before the event. The shame is dumping it on you and your family with little or no warning after it is too late.

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Hope the other daughter's wedding was better!