Would you be Angry if......
 

you had lent something to a good friend, and when you came to get it back you find out that they sold it????


I went to see my friend yesterday, we have always been in the habit to borrow each to stuff since we were teenagers, clothes, movies, games, you name it. I let her borrow a play station game ive had for a while and in return she let me take one of her PC games. It had been a while since i have seen her so yesterday i decided to pay her a visit and return her game back to her. Before I left to see her, i was worried she had sold it for extra money, I had gotten her a game for her last birthday and come to find out she never played it at all but sold it the first chance she got (she was in possession of my game at this time). I was a little sad, but it was hers and after i gave it to her she could do what she wishes with it. I waited till the end of the night before i asked her for my game back, i didnt want to find out she sold it, and be mad at her through our entire visit. When i asked her about it, she told me, "Its at the video game store" my reply was "I could kill you!" And then i TRIED to act like i wasn't angry about it, but i was. She has never done this to me before, and ive known this woman since we were toddlers. My husband told me that i shouldnt of let anyone borrow anything i wouldnt want stolen. But i really hate to think that about one of my best friends, that i cant share something with my friend with out having to worry about it getting sold.

*for the note, she doesnt do any drugs, but she is really having a hard time with money*

Its really not about the game, its the point i trusted her with something of mine, and she sold it and then pocketed the money, and to add insult to injury she never apologized for doing it. ANYWAY, should i let it go??? Or should i really be angry at her??

Sorry this has happened to you...... this has happened to me before as well..... but we live and learn.... now a days you cant trust anything out of the ordinary wouldn't happen

You should talk to her about how you really feel and keep the friendship if you could work it through. Long time friends are hard to come by and both of you can communicate through this, your friendship will only grow over time.

I can understand why your upset , I would be too.

Since she is a long time friend and you have known her for so long , I would talk to her about it and let her know that while you understand she is strapped for money right now , if you loan her anything else you expect it to come back to you and not be sold. She should respect your friendship a bit more than that.

I know, i dont want to burn any bridges, but im hurt i guess:( She isnt really one to talk about stuff like that, i mean, she has made me mad before, and the way we get over is , to just get over it. She gets defensive when i bring up something i think she did or said wrong, and then i get angry all over again.

I certainly wouldn't lend her anymore of my stuff, that's for sure!

I loaned a roll away bed once to a friend - so a pretty big item. I had lent him money in the past too. So, he moved & I said where is my bed? Oh, he had gotten rid of it! :mad: Who does that :thumbdown:thumbdown

I have loaned out books - never got them back. And sometimes forgot who I loaned them to.

So now I keep a record of who has what, and I ask for them to tell me how long they need it. I tell them I have lost things in the past, so I will be keeping a record of what I loaned them & when & when they will be done with it. That why they know, I'm not going to just forget and they can take possession of it.

So my lending records have seemed to help

Me either!

I don't consider it bridge burning to ask about your stuff... It stinks when this kind of thing happens.

Being defensive is just her way of shifting blame and justifying her actions. Being mature is all about "owning your ****" and if you make a mistake, you take responsibility for it and fix it. I know you have been friends for a long time, maybe it is the right time to look at this as an opportunity to really be powerful in creating the kind of friendship that works for both of you.

Thanks guys! I'm going try to get over being mad, although i wont be lending her anything any time soon! She knows she screwed up, but im not going to keep pushing the subject. But if she ever asks to borrow anything from me again im going to tell her, no and tell her why she can't (in case she forgot:rolleyes:).

Wow - I would have been mad too. Could you not talk to her and say I know you probably needed the money, but it's not fair to sell something that doesn't belong to you. I would ask her to pay you the $ back when she is having a better time financially. Maybe an agreement of some sort.