Where should I go?
 

Hi! I'm really tired of the way my life is going out here (Northwest IL) I want (actually need) to get my puppies and get out of here! I've got 2 yrs of business school under my belt and very supportive parents, I've been working full time in admin and really want to continue working full time and finish up my degree in the evenings/weekends. My boyfriend is holding me back soooo much (he yells at me, swears at me, always cuts me down) and I am just fed up. I am an extremely strong woman that just needs to be pointed in the right direction.

Pls Yorkietalk, point me there!

:confused::confused::confused:Where should I go? :confused::confused::confused:

hi

i dont have any advise but i didnt want you to think know one cared :)

call it quits with the guy and tell him you just want to focuse on your education and career

Is your parents in the same town as you? Any close family members you can stay with till you find a place?

Sounds like u really need a new start! Let me know if you need someone to talk with.

Hugs,
Missy

Do you have any friends or family in California? I am sorry things are not going well for you.
I moved out of the bay area 5 years agp because it was soooo expensive. It was very hard to do that, but sometimes, change is a good thing . :thumbup:

How about Wichita, KS? The economy is still very strong here with lots of jobs still available and Wichita State is right in town. There are also several other colleges available. Yep, you need a new start if you have an verbally abusive boyfriend. Our daughter was dating and going to marry one just like that. I prayed and prayed. One day he loved her in the morning and by evening he was no longer in love with her. Answer to prayer. She has had a long, long road to recovery, though. He beat her self-esteem to nothing. She is now dating a Brazilian who treats her like a queen. There are good men out there, my dear. Kudos to you for wanting to get out. Joanne

P.S. I'll be your sub-grandma here in KS.:D:D:D

moving
 

Move to Florida...young people everywhere, lots to do and lots of jobs...no one can be unhappy with the beach close and all the sunshire.

Ditch the bf , close your eyes and throw a dart at a usa map. Where it lands, ye shall go :)

Good luck to you!

Sounds like it definately is time for a change. I would look where jobs in your field are available and decide what climate you like and take a trip out there. Good luck! I live in Gurnee, Northeast Illinois if you need something holler.

You are indeed a strong woman. You have decided that your friend is not the one for you.. and you are changing things. Pray about it and you will find the right answer for you. Things will happen.. and you will never regret it. You Go Girl.

Dump the boyfriend and head for Florida's east coast. Lots to do, lots of young people and lots of water and sun.

well it depends.. do you like the city.. countryside? do you like the state youre living in now..etc? i live near seattle.. and its sooo boring here too and there is nothing holding me back now.. i really want to move to san fran.. i like the environment and culture there way better than boring WA :p but ya i say if your parents are supportive then you should definitely move if you dont like it there anymore!

First of all, break it off with the bf like others suggest, but if he is like you say, please be careful that he doesn't look for some type of pay-back for leaving him....He probably needs anger management , but that's not your problem...You are # 1....Always remember that !!! Please talk to your parents as I'm sure , like all of us, will understand and help you....You know you can't just get up and leave (hopefully you are not living with him) if you are, go to your parents (do the yorkies belong to you?)...
Next, you must have finances if you are to go somewhere, you must have money to live for at least 6 months in case you can't find a job !!
I know it sounds like 'mission impossible', but it can work, you just need to organize yourself before you make a huge move....Many people get to a destination and find out that it's not what they expect and it's a bummer. My sister-in-law left AZ to transfer to Florida with her company, only to find out that when she got to the apartment, they didn't allow dogs !!! She had to spend time in a hotel, eventually couldn't and drove the uhaul up to Jersey,where she originally started 3 yrs ago...(She couldn't get a good paying job here-originally worked in NY for big bucks)
So, I don't mean to discourage you, just get it together before you leave..
What's for certain is, say bye-bye to your abusive boyfriend !!! ASAP:thumbup:

my advice would be (chiming in with others) to head in a direction where you know someone. Whether its' family or a friend. But to move to a town cold turkey not knowing anything might be a bit much. JMO

ahhh get me outta here!!!
 

hey guys thanks for all your replies.

I was in a house with the bf and our lease ended kinda abruptly and with the shootings up at NIU and then me almost getting jumped the other weekend, I knew someone was telling me to get out.
Right now the pups (both mine) and the bf are living with his mom in the next town over. Her lease is up at the end of August and my temp position just ended this week. All my family lives in IL (can't and wont move in with them) with the exception of my aunt and uncle in TX (I would love to move there, but I don't think it would work out).

I adore the bf when he is in a good mood, but that side of him is so few and far between. I thought we were gonna get married, but I just don't know anymore..
I doubt myself so much and always second guess the decisions I make. I hate it and it scares me.

I love the idea of moving south, but I've been barely making it these past few months and don't have the finances to support myself. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Anyone know how to make a couple grand really fast? :rolleyes:

Maybe you can sell some stuff...have a sale. Also...idk if there's a lot of restaurants where you live but you can make a couple grand by waitressing, here i would make about a grand a week but its busy. You can do that for a few weeks to save up and then quit. I think Florida is nice and more affordable. :thumbup:

If you have to be out at the end of Aug., what is the plan for all of you?
Contact a women's abuse place and talk to someone, maybe they can help you find a place and keep the contact person's name and phone number handy in case you need it fast....Good luck

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I agree with the above posters that it's definitely time to end things with the boyfriend. Verbal abusers don't get better unless they have a life-changing epiphany and are willing to seek help for their anger management, and chances are it will just get worse. You sound like a smart, hardworking person and I'd be willing to bet that he cuts you down and tries to hold you back because deep down, he's afraid that you'll leave him - he knows you are too good for him and it's his way of keeping you trapped. Life is too short to not surround yourself with positive people who will support your dreams ... there are other wonderful men out there.

I moved from Oregon to Nashville, TN on a whim right out of college and have loved it. The economy is booming here, and Nashville has been rated one of the top cities for young adults. (Wish I could remember where I read that ...). Job opportunities are plentiful, housing costs are relatively low, and there are several local colleges where you could finish your business studies. Nashville used to be pretty "honky-tonk", although it's undergone quite the transformation ... most people I meet have moved from somewhere else for the great opportunities Nashville offers - the nightlife is fun, there is plenty of culture to be found and people are really friendly.

As far as making a couple grand quick ... working as a server at a restaurant nights and weekends is a great idea.

I wish you the best of luck ... you deserve to be happy and with someone who loves and supports you unconditionally.

I also agree Tennessee is a great place to live. Have lived in Knoxville all my life. There is something for everyone.

Girlfriend, listen closely to me. I stayed with the wrong man for 16 yrs off and on. From age 15 to 31. If only I could have those years back. He called me names and did his best to make me feel like I was worthless. The only way I left him was when he kicked me out. Do yourself a big favor and leave now. My life would be totally different if I hadn't stayed with him so long. I'm 37 and single with no kids. I married someone else briefly but it didn't work out and got back with him after. He's married now with a son, and I'm still dealing with the issue's I have from allowing myself to be treated that way and staying for so long. Sounds like you're on the right track. I support you. Take your babies and start fresh. Don't let the negativity hold you back. Lean on your family (and yorkietalk) for support. Good Luck, I hope the best for your future.

almost out!
 

I have an appt to go look at a cute little one bedroom out in st charles tomorrow. Its right off the fox river and really close to town. I'm super excited.

Where ever you decide to move one thing for sure you don't need someone that treats you like your boyfriend does. Sounds really controlling and that is one relationship you sure don't need. Hope you find what you are looking for and pray and God will send the right person in your life at the right time.

leave everything behind. Start a new life else where. I know couse I had to do that to get away from someone like that. Ten years later, I have a beautiful family, and a yorkie! but if you do leave, just remember, that it will be very difficult to let go

good luck with the appt!!!..you should take pics and make this an adventure for your and the pups!!..right now its tough but in a few years you will be thinking why didnt i do this sooner???:D

oh you should take pics of the new place and post them for us!!

I've picked up and started over a few times.....everything WILL work out...it always does...it's scary now but things will fall into place! Something I did, which may interest you since you mentioned this....go on-line and look at every college/university local or far. Then go onto their Human Resources page and start looking for administrative work. It sounds like that's what you are doing now, right? If you can get into a school and work there a bit, one of the biggest benefits, is that your education will be paid for!!! I did it! It took me three years at night, but I finished my degree (in Business) while working for the college during the day and they paid for it!!!

Have you thought of Des Moines - it would be easy enough to go visit family and friends for a weekend. The quality of life is excellent here. Lots to do and tons of insurance companies and Wells Fago and other banks. Des Moines is either #1 or #2 in the insurance towns in the country - they go back in forth with Hartford, Conn.

Lots of opportunities here also to further your education. You could find an employer that helps pay for you to finish your education. Principal Financial Group is one of the biggest employers with tons of employee benefits

As far as making a grand - sell what you have, can you pick up a waitress job at an upscale place? Cut your expenses - take the bus,etc