I wish I could post
 

a picture of DUG right now. He is POUTING. I mean seriously, has his bottom lip poked out and everything. :rolleyes:

Why? Because he is out of cigarettes and DH informed him we are not buying him any. If he can't afford to buy them, he can't afford to smoke them.

He is about a breath away from being thrown out TONIGHT. It is not fair to us to have to put up with his crankiness.

I would love to see a picture.

Tee hee, me too! Maybe you can just tell him that's the a good reason to quit-the expense of cigarettes, and what better way to quit then to not have ANY in the house? Sounds like a win/win to me! Take a pic if you can, maybe you can "look" at your camera and "accidentally" take a picture!?

There is no way for me to get a picture without him knowing it, plus I don't think its right to post a pic of someone without their permission.

But OMG it is hysterical. I swear he is pouting like a 5 year old. :rolleyes:


I have never in my life. Ever ever.

Please, pleeeeeeeeease before you throw him out, ..don't forget about the "exlax"..and then, take his picture :D

:lol tears

Oh I won't forget! I will throw him a going away party and the brownies will be JUST FOR HIM! :p

Are you doing his laundry too? If you are...Make sure to toss in a BRIGHT pink towel or brand new pair of red socks with his tighty whities! ;) At least if he annoys you, you can smirk, knowing all his undies are pink!!!!

OMG! DH just told him he has to be out by THIS WEEKEND! :eek:

I am SO HAPPY to be getting my house back, but I am also SHOCKED that DH finally grew a set of...well....anyway, I am shocked that DH actually stepped up and did it.

I feel a little guilty. I mean, I know I get angry and vent and say things, etc. And I also know he is a grown man and sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is throw them to the wolves and I truly feel like he is one of those types. We have helped him over and over and over again and he still hasn't learned.

I asked DH what he said and he said that first DUG said he would see what he could do, then he started to cry and said he wished he was dead. DH said he just shook his head and walked off at that point. I was shocked, but he said we have helped all we can, and he is right. I am sorry for DUG, but he put himself in this position.

Aerrica...I have been reading these stories but have forgotten how you came to acquire the DUG. IS he family?

Yes, he is DH's cousin. The rest of the family has pretty much washed their hands of him. This is the SIXTH time we have had him live with us in the past 8 years.

UGH! I don't envy you, I can't imagine what its like to have someone living in your home. And he expects you to buy him smokes? Thats crazy! I'm glad that you will be able to breathe a little easier after this weekend. I don't know the story behind why DUG isn't on his own but sounds like people need to stop allowing him to be dependent on them and start depending on himself.

6 times in 8 years...????, so you mean to tell me, that is not that he is down on his luck, or he just got unemployed, or he just got through a divorce, none of that?
You can seat and wait, and you can be sure that he WILL knock at your door again.
Remember Tough Love is he way to go, it will help you, your family and him.

DUG is here of absolutely no fault of his own. He believes nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is his fault. :rolleyes:

I think DH has finally realized that no matter how much we try to help DUG, it isn't going to do any good because DUG is just not willing to help himself.

In fact, since DH told him he had to be out by Friday, DUG has made exactly ONE phone call. He was more concerned about which room he could watch television in than finding a place to go.

:D ... oh my ... that's funny ... well to me ... not to you ....

It's a fact that you cannot help someone that is not willing to try to help themselves. When you try, what you actually are doing is enabling them to continue on in the same pattern. This is not good for anyone of you.

I know you have joked about it but I also know how disruptive folks like this can be in a family (yours). I believe your home is your sanctuary from the world and if that is taken away, where do you have that you can go to find any peace and tranquility?

I know you will probably feel guilty, but he will find another someone/somewhere to laze around. UNTIL....maybe, he 'gets it' and puts some effort into his life. Nobody can motivate him to do that. He has to get there on his own.

I recently tried to help someone I thought was going to try really hard and get their life together. NOT! But it cost me nearly ten thousand dollars and that is one hard learned lesson. I feel badly for you and your husband. I know you do really want to help. He just won't assist you, though.

I hope you get things back to normal for you and your family soon. It's gotta be stressing you out so much!

_____________________________________________

I DO feel guilty. However he has got to go. All joking aside, it was seriously beginning to cause issues in my marriage. Nothing really, BAD, but issues. Mostly just both of us being really stressed out, and then DH working 12+ hours a day and coming home to me complaining about DUG and listening to me and DUG argue. It just isn't a very good situation.

I just feel like I have this ball of anger turning over and over in my stomach and HATE feeling like that. Just about everyone has caught little pieces of it even though I've tried to keep it stuffed down in there. Most of it has been directed at DUG, but I have just been snappy with everyone lately.

I think that DUG is a very grey person. "Grey" is my term for those people who just suck the life out of you and leave you just emotionally drained and exhausted. (I think I may have gotten the term from a Sylvia Browne book)

Anyway, he has to be out by Friday, and it can't get here soon enough!

"Grey"....sounds like a very polite and caring person's way of saying

ADULT PARASITE LOSER

Help looks a little different when it's being applied to someone like DUG. Helping DUG means putting him in the position where he HAS to take care of himself, and he HAS to take responsibility for himself. As long as he has an option...he'll choose to let someone else provide.

What DUG needs can't be given, it can only be earned, it's dignity. The kind you get when you hit the street and find a job, rent a small place that's just enough for you, and buy your first meal. While you eat that simple little meal you plan for the next, with the smallest of accomplishments comes hope. Once you have hope...

girl ..I feel your pain. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ! This 'Dug' sounds like he's sucking the life out of everyone he mooches off of -

take it from Sammiz...she really knows what she's talking about. If someone isn't willing to take charge and help themself - then they will never change and you can't do it for them. We're all in charge of our actions and can't expect people to 'take care' of us (with the exception of someone who is down on their luck but trying)

I don't see how you can help this person any more than you already have....

DH and I have finally come to realize that. The only way DUG will ever learn is if he just falls on his face and has to pick himself back up. Sometimes the mama bird has to push the baby bird out of the nest. Only this time the baby bird is 47 years old!

To tell ya'll how self-centered he is....He asked DH to buy him a pack of cigarettes. DH told him no. (that was a rule when he first moved in - we absolutely will NOT buy cigarettes for him.) DH told him that any spare money we had right now was going to help the kids I babysit and their family.
DUG had the nerve to pout and say, "But charity begins at home! You should help family before you help someone else's kids." :eek: :eek: :eek: :mad:

EXCUSE ME???? You mean to tell me that CIGARETTES are more important than helping some children get much needed school supplies and clothes????
And as far as the helping family goes, what have we been doing???? We brought him into OUR home where he watches our television all day, reads MY books (without asking I might add), stinks up my house with his cigarettes (even though he smokes outside that smell follows him everywhere), eats our food, etc. and he doesn't think we are helping him????

This guy is 47 ?

ah....I can't say what I'm thinking but will say this again

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. You've already gone above and beyond. It's time for him to start acting like a man and get on with his life without expecting people to take 'care' of him.

he's not still in diapers I hope ? :p:p:p

sorry - I couldn't resist.

Yep. He turned 47 on Friday. Threw a fit about us not taking him anywhere for his birthday too. :rolleyes:

hmmmm....I can think of where you could have taken him for his birthday

The Bus Depot is open 24 hours. (I think) :D:D

Can we say ....ONE WAY TICKET OUT ?

Wise. I so totally agree.

LOL, LOL, LOL

You crack me up! you are so astute and have such clever ideas! I am wholeheartedly with you on this !

So on Friday...;)

I have a mental image of DUG sitting on the bench, ticket in hand...wearing his party hat. :D

Cross your fingers, legs, toes, and eyes. There is a CHANCE he could be out as early as Tuesday! :hands:

Well let us know ...we will have an online party:cheers: