Tourist misunderstandings
 

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states’ tourism Councils have adapted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It’s called a “gravel road”. No matter how slow you drive, you are going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it …not just to keep up with the neighbors.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to “corn fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped…by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600.00 Orvis fly rod. Don’t dry if a 20# northern pike breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for…bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while bunches of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you pay for one drink at the airport.

9. No, there’s no “Vegetarian Special” on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice!

11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you only drive on weekends. We’re impressed! We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use for only two weeks a year.

12. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive pickups, trucks and tractors because they want to. So, you’re a feminist, isn’t that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too…and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar. It’s available at the bait shop.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit in the water hazard. It spooks the fish.

16. That County Patrol Officer who just pulled you over for driving like an idiot…his name is “Sir,” No matter how old he is.

These are great. I am going to have to send them to my dad. LOL where on earth did you get all them?? :) :)

lol omg that is too funny!!!!!! i love it thanks for sharing!!

How funny, thanks for sharing!

That was too funny. Coming from Kansas (and living here my whole life) I am almost but not quite ashamed to admit most of that is true here. (At least in the small town where I live!)

Awesome!!! My best friend grew up in West Virginia, 'nuff said!

I would like to remove Chicago from this ;)

I know when I go on vacation and people ask where I am from and I tell them Kansas . I always get some remark like "Isn't that where Toto is from". Or something along the lines of that about the wizard of Oz :rolleyes:

I just make sure to take my boots and jeans with me, when they ask me...I tell them I live in the stix! I have people that tease me a lot...they say for a kansan I have a pretty thick accent. I can't help it! That's just me!

Oh my - this should have Texas on it! If this isn't all the guys in my life! I have laughed at every line.

Thank you!

Amen to everything on that list! I've experienced a couple of those things from west coasters..... :)

hey i'm from cali...but i llove to fish,catch crab,catch squid,hunt and i love doing it while i'm wearing my gucci shoes :D hahahah just kidding!

Very cute and very true! Kinda like you might be a redneck if.......
Well the shoe seems to fit! I really liked the first one about the farm boy doing more work before daylight then you did in the gym all week!
Its true!

lol
 

Sorry stacy I dont live in your beautiful country but im afraid if you said where you come from to me the first thing to spring to my mind would be toto and the wizard of oz.I loved toto so much I got myself a cairn terrier and named him flynn. :) dianne :)