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Suicide.....can't understand A couple of days ago, our front page newspaper told of one of our local surgeons committing suicide. Only 53. He has performed surgery on me. A nice man. Successful. Handsome. Talented. Obviously intelligent. I can't seem to get it off my mind..... I am having difficulty understanding this act. My heart aches for his family. Since the initial article, there has been no subsequent info given. Not even in the obits. This creates even more questions in my mind because at first they thought it might be 'suspicious circumstances' but later determined it to be a suicide. All this in the initial article and now nothing...like it never happened or was reported. Sad, sad, sad. ....................................... |
Yes it is very sad, confusing, and hard to understand. I hope his family finds peace. |
I'm so sorry to hear that...It's very, very sad..You never know what people are going through :( |
I think that's the tough part about suicide.... the confusion it leaves behind. I had a few acquaintences commit suicide when I was in high school. As awful as that is, at least it's understandable the confusion and teenage issues they were struggling with. But we recently had a funeral director in a small town - a person who had helped a community full of people through their tough times - commit suicide when he became ill. That was so hard. |
It is so hard for those who are left to mourn when it is an act such as this. Confusion is exactly what describes that feeling, hurt and confused. When I was 16 a very good friend of mine committed suicide. A day doesn't go by where I don't think about him and wonder why he did. His life seemed perfect from the outside and being close with him, I would have never imagined this to happen. I guess it just proves that no matter how well we think we know someone, there is always some aspect that they keep to themselves. I'm sorry to hear about this loss. It is never easy and I don't think anyone ever understand why or what they are feeling inside. |
Our county Sheriff committed suicide years ago after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was related to my sister by marriage and her husband's family still hasn't come to terms with it. |
For me, in this instance....I cannot figure out why it has affected me so much that I can't get him off my mind. It's not like I knew him personally. I only knew him as a surgeon. Of course, you have to have some confidence in a person to allow them to open your body and take things out or put things in....but this was the extent of any relationship....purely a professional one. So I can't figure out what has made it so personal within me. How much sense does that make? None.:confused: |
Even though you did not have a close personal relationship with him, your surgeon is someone who has had an intimate relationship with you. He was someone you trusted, and if this is the first time you have dealt with a suicide, it is very hard no matter who it is. Also, I think we all believe that someone like him has a "perfect" life, and that makes us wonder if any one of us has the potential to do the same thing. |
I want to thank everyone that responded. I think I have survivors guilt. Even though I didn't know him well...I feel he had so much to offer. Then, I have condsidered the fact that he would have (or should have) been able to recognize the symptoms....and he also would know where to get help and didn't? My friends have told me that I 'can't save the world".....but I want to. I have gotten into so much trouble with this. Financial as well as emotional involvement with folks that I felt just 'needed a chance' to turn their lives around. Most often, the involvement and risk has all been on me. There are many posts on here that I can't respond to because they affect me too deeply. Loss. Greif. Sorrow. I want to fix it all. I guess I just need to try to get beyond it. Thank you all so much! .................................................. ......... |
Girl I'm sorry. I had a cousin kill herself and it took me years to understand it. When my husband died I fell into the darkest cave I've ever been in for many reasons - but now understand why people take this drastic step :( on the other hand - I can't see how they can get past what it does to the people who love them, to me.... that's the reason NOT to do it.... they must feel so hopeless there seems no other way. ...maybe he had a terminal illness or something that he just couldn't cope with ? We really never know what goes thru anyones minds....ever. hugs - I'm here if you need to talk you know that right ? |
I hope that you can find peace with this. It is always very hard to accept the death of someone you know. In this circumstance because of a suicide, it makes it that much more difficult because there seems to be no reason. The person was probably in a lot of pain and couldn't see beyond that. Just try to focus on the good that he did and celebrate his life and hopefully that will bring some peace. I wish you luck with this. |
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Oh I am really sorry about this, but I do understand why people do this thing. I have had a dark part of my life for about 2 years where this was in my mind but have never actually took the step.I am so sorry again. |
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