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-   -   Its it wrong to ask for money donations..... (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/126412-its-wrong-ask-money-donations.html)

Rockster's Mom 04-18-2008 07:51 AM
Its it wrong to ask for money donations.....
 
I am trying to plan a party for mine and my best friend's B-day. It is his 30th b-day, so I want to do something really fun and special. There are some really cool clubs here in the DFW area, but to make reservations they require bottle (liquor or chapange) purshases. Which is cool because you get VIP treatment, no cover or wait, personal waiter, etc.... I was thinking out asking everyone who will be invited to help pitch in for the cost. Is it wrong to ask for money donations?

spr377 04-18-2008 07:55 AM
If you are going to ask for "donations", I wouldn't word it that way. You could send the invitations and say that there is a cost per person to attend.......and definitely no gifts. I personally wouldn't invite people to a party and ask them to pay for part of it.

BubblPopElectrc 04-18-2008 07:58 AM
Is it wrong? I think so. I especially think it wouldn't be the appropriate thing to do as its (partially anyway) a party for you.

Not to sound harsh but if I was invited to a party where someone asked me to prepay, I probably wouldn't go, haha. :)

Ladylavender 04-18-2008 08:03 AM
I agree that you should ask for the money in a "per person" way. However, this may directly affect the attendance level and therefore the contribution would have to go up for the people that were actually attending. (Which they may be opposed to) Or you may still get stuck paying the majority of the bill.

I think that if I were going to ask people to contribute money to the event, that I would get them involved in choosing where to have the event, because some people may not agree on where their money is going or how it's being spent.

If you are set on the where's, when's and how's, then I think the best route would be for you to bear the brunt of the expense.

diggy4 04-18-2008 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubblPopElectrc (Post 1928071)
Is it wrong? I think so. I especially think it wouldn't be the appropriate thing to do as its (partially anyway) a party for you.

Not to sound harsh but if I was invited to a party where someone asked me to prepay, I probably wouldn't go, haha. :)
Agree...

Rockster's Mom 04-18-2008 08:04 AM
It would be opitional not a requirement, but RSVP will be required since there would have to be a guest list at the club.

Rockster's Mom 04-18-2008 08:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladylavender (Post 1928079)
I agree that you should ask for the money in a "per person" way. However, this may directly affect the attendance level and therefore the contribution would have to go up for the people that were actually attending. (Which they may be opposed to) Or you may still get stuck paying the majority of the bill.

I think that if I were going to ask people to contribute money to the event, that I would get them involved in choosing where to have the event, because some people may not agree on where their money is going or how it's being spent.

If you are set on the where's, when's and how's, then I think the best route would be for you to bear the brunt of the expense.
I am getting feed back from the people who would attend, but they want to go to the most expensive place, but than freak out about the cost and don't want to go cheaper or chip in. I am not willing to pay for the whole thing if they want to go the most expensive route. I not asking for everyone to pay for the whole thing just pitch in. I told them inside of buying presents like they typical do, just contribute to the party.

rebecca127 04-18-2008 08:14 AM
Hey,

I do not believe there is something wrong with that IMO. Everyone knows that if your gonna go to a nice club thats VIP and its someones bday you chip in for the bottle instead of bringing a gift. If there is no cover charge (besides coat check) i see no problem asking for money. I have done it before and ppl I know do it all the time. Its a norm here in NYC when ppl party...

celstu1 04-18-2008 08:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca127 (Post 1928120)
Hey,

I do not believe there is something wrong with that IMO. Everyone knows that if your gonna go to a nice club thats VIP and its someones bday you chip in for the bottle instead of bringing a gift. If there is no cover charge (besides coat check) i see no problem asking for money. I have done it before and ppl I know do it all the time. Its a norm here in NYC when ppl party...
Its a norm here in Boston too... things are too expensive for one person to foot the whole bill!

I agree! It could be a fun night out and something pretty special for ALL of you if everyone could pitch in a little bit. My friends and I did things like that all the time when we were younger and wanted to go to more expensive places for the experience! I wouldnt expect like $50 a person but maybe $20 and I think people would do it. I would if I were invited! :) Good Luck!

Ladylavender 04-18-2008 08:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockster's Mom (Post 1928096)
I am getting feed back from the people who would attend, but they want to go to the most expensive place, but than freak out about the cost and don't want to go cheaper or chip in. I am not willing to pay for the whole thing if they want to go the most expensive route. I not asking for everyone to pay for the whole thing just pitch in. I told them inside of buying presents like they typical do, just contribute to the party.
Well, if you are getting feedback and they are aware of the costs and that's where they want to go, then by all means have them pitch in. However, I would have everyone that RSVP's to fork over the dough in advance so no one is stuck with more of the bill than the others.

KathyinCali 04-18-2008 08:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladylavender (Post 1928167)
Well, if you are getting feedback and they are aware of the costs and that's where they want to go, then by all means have them pitch in. However, I would have everyone that RSVP's to fork over the dough in advance so no one is stuck with more of the bill than the others.

I agree...

Rockster's Mom 04-18-2008 08:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladylavender (Post 1928167)
Well, if you are getting feedback and they are aware of the costs and that's where they want to go, then by all means have them pitch in. However, I would have everyone that RSVP's to fork over the dough in advance so no one is stuck with more of the bill than the others.
Thats what I was thinking, but some of his friends are all about a free party. My friends are willing the pitch in because they want to have great time.

celstu1 04-18-2008 12:47 PM
I swear in my dealings with guys when it comes to this stuff, they will bring $200 to the bar to blow in one night, but you cannot get one cent pre-pay from them for ANYTHING! ive been in wedding parties where we have a jack & Jill and the guys fight tooth & nail to not pay for anything ... they expect to go and enjoy it, want a say in it, but expect us girls to pay for the whole thing. Birthday parties too.

Rockster's Mom 04-18-2008 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by celstu1 (Post 1928670)
I swear in my dealings with guys when it comes to this stuff, they will bring $200 to the bar to blow in one night, but you cannot get one cent pre-pay from them for ANYTHING! ive been in wedding parties where we have a jack & Jill and the guys fight tooth & nail to not pay for anything ... they expect to go and enjoy it, want a say in it, but expect us girls to pay for the whole thing. Birthday parties too.
You are so right!!! I just saw one of my friend's best friends, and he was just braging how he spent $300 last night at the T&A bar, but he got upset when I asked what thought about everyone pitching in for the B-day party.

Rae Rae 04-18-2008 01:17 PM
For most birthday parties, no, but a lot of night clubs also do packages of open bar and it's so much per person. Usually my friends and I do this, so it's not donations because you still have to pay at the door, do any of the clubs your interested in offer any packages like that? I would assume since it's at a club, most people would already know that they are going to be spending money anyways so they probably wouldn't get offended.


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