anyone have some real funny joke
 

i could use a good laugh right now

Compared with Gasoline......
Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also
puts things in perspective.



Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 .......... $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 .........$9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ...............$10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ............$10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 .............$33.60 per gallon

Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ...........$178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ...........$123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ...................$25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ......................$84.48 per gallon


And this is the REAL KICKER...

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..........$21.19 per gallon!
$21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source.
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?

So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at.....you won't believe
it.....but it is true.....$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred
dollars)

So, the next time you're at the pump, Be glad your car doesn 't run on
Water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid,
Printer Ink!!!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...

And - If you don't pass this along to at least one person,
Your muffler will fall off!!



Hope this does it for you Gina.:p

thank you carol... but need some more...i need to crack up right now

I have a great one's but it has some language I can't use here.:(

Sorry..

I;ll pm you with one.

UGH Oh...Gina you okay? You having a bad day?

What are the two sexiest animals on the farm?

(you have to say this outloud all together..)

BrownChickenBrownCow

You ok Gina ????

here you go - someone posted this and I thought it was great -

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE MARRIED


Three women, one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: "The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long."

The mistress: "Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I
was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat he didn¹t say a word, but we had wild sex all
night."

The married woman: "I sent the kids to stay at my mother¹s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'"

V that IS hillarious! ok, I don't get the brown chicken one....I'm sitting here saying it over and over?:confused:

thanks my friends, was just feeling alittle under the weather today.
i guess stressed out, but carol your killing me with those jokes your sending
me,, im cracking up at my desk all by myself..

LOL

I e-mailed her some. I think she's glued to her work computer:p

way to go Carol -

here Gina - http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off...-my-mouth.html

TRUE STORY in case you didn't see it - :eek:

Ha, ha....LOL...I had to do it a few times. It is the sound effect ...hummmm how would one say this .... that you make or hear when you hear things like dirty movies. .. ha, ha...I can not believe I just said that.

Okay Gina - at least this should make you laugh...I just made myself sound like a PERVERT!!! :p:p

I agree...on both counts :confused:

I'm still stuck on brownchickenbrowncow and that's WITH directions

now I feel like a priss

I don't get it and I want to !!!:D

I think like " bow-chicka-wow-wow"...you know how people say that when people walk by? haha i think thats what it is

Vilette...you did not get it even after I explained it? ha, ha!!! :rolleyes::p

hmmmm.....the day I say 'bow-chicka-wow-wow'....no matter WHAT I'm doing - I'll smack my own face right then and there ! lol

OMG yes...why did I not think of this....ha, ha...I explained it horribly! :p:p

nope....Just call me Lucy today -

SPAIN IT TO ME RICKY !!!!

and don't give me that 'bow-chicka-wow-wow' stuff

if that's what people are hearin - I must have been doing it ALL wrong

NOT !

HA !

:rofl28ib::rofl28ib:

:yeahthat:

That sounds like a chorus from a Temptation song from the 50's.
Doo Opp music to be sure:p

I got it - RICK JAMES singin Brick House :p

LMAO:D

The Washcloth
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's
office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at
9:30 am.
I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was
already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time
to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able
to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth
that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that
area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped
in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called
in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended
that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made
an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal . Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called
out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She rep lied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
I’m NEVER going back to that doctor again!!

Yea..I didn't know if it would work very well without hearing it..

It's supossed to sound like.. Bow chicka bow wow..you know..like the Axe men's perfume commercials?

:eek: lol thats funny! thank! i definitely needed a laugh today!

:sidesplt::sidesplt::sidesplt::sidesplt:

OH LORD....than if none of you are getting it ~ it must be me - ha, ha...I knew I was the odd man out!! :p:p