Smile for the day ... enjoy
 

25 things you should have learned by middle age....

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't
do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that
life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness
of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away
three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to
the real world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before

Great Quotes
 

That was nice of you to have posted this for everyone to feel familier with. Thanks I enjoyed it.

cute. thanks for the laugh

THAT WAS ADORABLE!!!!!!! and i'm not even middle aged (hehehe) ****evil laugh**** :rolleyes: thanks for the laugh!!!!! ;) :)

Okay youngster that's enough outta you, isn't it past your bedtime? :) Thanks for posting, Rosie, I love a good laugh.

That was cute! Thanks for sharing!

I loved those! Thanks for the smile. :)

That was really cute. Thanks for sharing.

Great!
 

I see myself in there several times! ;)

Haha, that's hilarious! I will keep those in mind... :cool: