Am I being a brat??
 

So I have been totally feeling bratty because my sweetie wants to spend easter with his family this year. Our parents are about 2 hours apart. So we're going to my parents house friday night and going to Mass together saturday night, then we're having breakfast sunday and leaving to go to his parents for lunch. Ok so I know we're spending a weekend (really like a day) with my family, but I really wanted to have lunch with my family too. I won't get to see my cousins cause by the time we leave everyone is still at Church. But I feel like I can't say much because he's spent Thanksgivings, Christmases and other holidays just with my family. Am I being a brat? I've never missed holidays with my family EVER!!! Not even New Years. I love spending time with my family and I try to be fair which is why I haven't said anything, but it's bugging me. I want to spend Easter at home..lol..with MYYYY family. He's never complained about missing his family events and usually he ends up missing them or we end up going later to his families events, but HELLO THEY LIVE LIKE 10 MIN AWAY..Lol..Don't get me wrong I LOVE spending time with his family they are super nice and fun to be around. But I just feel bad for missing a holiday with my family. Seems like boys are more used to missing a few holidays here and there. We tried to think of alternatives but this was the best way. Because even if we stay for a quick lunch at my parents, by the time we get to his parents it's dinner time and everyone is gathering there for lunch after church. Am I being unfair? Should I just get over it and be fair like he does? Am I being unreasonable?

That's the thing, I know I'll have an AWESOME time with his family. I love them and love being with them. I just hate missing out being with mine. Which I know he must feel when he's with mine, but it seems boys don't have the separation issues girls have from their families..lol..Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he feels this way but just doesn't say anything :rolleyes:

I agree too. :(

I have always heard that a relationship has to be 50/50- well, I think that's true, but you can't split it 50/50 ! so sometimes you have to give 90%- sometimes he has to give 90% Then it AVERAGES OUT TO 50/50!
you know what who's turn it is, don't ya!
Just say a little thank you prayer that you have so much family to spend holiday's with!!
Happy Easter- and enjoy being with everyone!!

You're lucky he's going with you, as he would probably rather spend the time with his family...sometimes as hard as it is, you have to do things to make the other "one" happy..

ABSOLUTELY and a Very good post.

First of all, he is being great...give that man a pat on the back. Then, go to his house some.

I have two adult boys and I don't think it's fair to say they miss being with their family any less than girls. They may hide it better, but I'm sure men want to spend time with their families as well.

Like others have said, you are VERY lucky to have so many choices and so many people who love both of you. :)

Thank you ladies. I knew I needed to come and get a quick pat on the rear for being a brat. He's great about it even though I'm sure he misses being with them during certain holidays. But he also has this HUGE family,a nd I have just me, my parents, sister and uncles son. So they really miss us when we're not there. I feel bad for leaving them. I sometimes feel like crying on the way home. I know I need to cut the cord. But I always suggest going to his families house so he doesn't feel like I am keeping him away. Or I try to find an amicable route so everyone gets to be with their family. Like christmas weekend we were with my parents, on christmas eve and work up christmas day, had lunch then drove 2 hours back to his parents for christmas dinner. So we try but it's hard. I wish my parents would move here :D That's my solution..haha..You are right, we are so lucky to have so many wonderful people in our lives to share with. I have seen the error of my ways :p

This is one of those things as married people that is so difficult. Of course you don't want to miss any events with your family but neither does he, both ways it's hard...Just wait until you have kids...I have fought with my husband and my brothers and their wives for 12 years over it. Someone always misses out on something and no one is ever happy. Occasionally my husband and I take turns each year with which family's events will take precedence. But that hasn't been fun either.

This year my mother finally decided she would start doing all holidays a day early so that her kids could spend the real holiday with their spouse's family. It has turned out soo nice. No more running from one family to the other on christmas, easter...and my mother has us all to herself all day.

What a great idea. At least your mom came up with a great idea. Try convincing either one family to do it a day earlier :rolleyes: Sheesh..It's great when they think of it on their own so it's not pushed on them...but I may suggest it.

After years of fighting, my mother was tired of us. :p You'll come up with a good solution after a while that will work out.

I agree:thumbup:

I have two grown sons and two wonderful DIL's. I KNOW that the guys want to spend time with their family, too. But most men won't whine that they want to spend the day with their mommy:p I promise you he will appreciate your effort, and so will his family:thumbup: I'm glad you enjoy them, too. Sure makes life nice;)

My problem is GETTING my hubby to HIS parents house! He never wants to go with the exception being Christmas & Thanksgiving and would rather be at my mom's house... I feel bad , I know his mom must think its me keeping him away but on the contray its him... So my solution most of the time is to get his parents over to our house or if its at my mom's her's... but yea I vote it his turn too... well have fun!

Our problem at first was we tried to make EVERY party and didn't enjoy any of it because we were always supposed to be somewhere else. We gave that up and do one party a day or whatever we need to do to stay sane and no more. We will see the other side next time or on a different day and if someone has to see us the Saturday before or after the holiday and not ON the holiday then they will just have to get over it. We make an effort to see everyone, just not at the specific time that they demand we be there. After a few years of us not giving in they have stopped "demanding" and started requesting our presence, and if we decline, then oh well. We can only do so much and it won't get better with kids!

I think one day with one family is fine, one day with the other. If seeing your cousins is important why don't you switch days? I admit we try to pick the parties (on both sides) with the people we want to see because we have more fun!

I'm sorry u are having to choose. Luckily I haven't had a serious enough BF yet to have to spend holidays with him, but I woudl be like you. I love my family! ;)

Yes, Nobella...you are being a brat and because you love him....you will make time to spend holidays with his family...and he will love you more...for that.;)

We split holidays up...sometimes held gatherings on different dates...the date didn't actually matter...it was the people.

I'll tell you something else...I am only 47....but we no longer have either set of parents to spend holidays with. Enjoy it, because the time will come sooner or later...hopefully later..when you will have the entire day devoted to whatever it is YOU want to do.

I admit that I'm just as guilty as you are for this. I would rather spend the holidays with my folks and it is getting to the point my hubby is the same way, but his parents brought that on themselves. Christmas we always have his sides two days before Christmas and my side Christmas Eve which is pretty fair and nobody ever complains about that. Thanksgiving is always on my side, but we hate the travel they want everyone to do on his side. His family all lives within 20 minutes of each other except his aunt and she lives an hour away, but Thanksgiving they think everyone should travel up to her. :confused: Easter we always have at our house. We invite both sides but usually my parents are the only ones that show up. I think it's great that you get along with your husbands side so well. I wish it wasn't so weird when I visit hubbys side. I'm always left out. If they treated me good I wouldn't mind going there more often and for the holidays. So I'd be grateful for that.

Another suggestion....celebrate the holiday at YOUR house...and invite them all.

:thumbup:

After we had our children that's exactly what we started doing. We didn't think all the rushing around was good for them. It's worked out really well for us.

I totally understand! My ex & I used to go our seperate ways on holidays :( kind of stunk bc then we were not together... Im with a new guy now and we are trying to make it work so we can go to both our families houses. His for brunch and mine for lunch! You should offer to host it, that way you can invite BOTH families to your house and then you dont have to choose. When I lived with my ex we had a huge house, so we hosted Easter one year with like 20 people from his family and mine. It was fun and like the first holiday we really spent together! (10 years together crazy huh?)

Yeah if I were you Id suck it up and go! Sounds like hes done it for you a few times! It will all work out nicely Im sure, you'll be happy to make him happy too!

Ok ladies I am just going to take your advice and suck it up. Afterall his family is awesome and they are a lot of fun. Though I feel bad for leaving my family, I will do it for my honey. Besides it's not like we're not getting to see them at all. But hopefully after we're married in June, we'll start hosting everything at our house so there is no worry.

Ok so I did what he wanted this year and I'm really glad I did. Not only did we have a great weekend from friday night to sunday with my family, we had an excellent lunch at his brothers house sunday at 2pm. So we were at my families house till past noon. It was wonderful, although I missed them during the lunch I saw how happy Rob was to be with his family for a holidays for a change. When we came home he gave me a big hug and kiss and said "THANK YOU FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL". That made my entire weekend. I was happy I didn't make a stink about it or get all pouty. He definitely appreciated it. :D

That's great you went..I'm very proud of you...and see, you had a great time after all..;)

haha
 

I'd much rather spend the holidays with my family over my inlaws. Gah they get on my nerves, plus I work with my father in law and he's not the greatest. Plus hubby is the only child and it's boring over there with his parents and I just dont want to spend time with them anyway gah...I dont think your being bratty at all...if anyones bratty its me lol