Dare I need to hear a 'thank you' ?
 

I am grateful for everything my husbands parents have helped us with.. I am grateful for my husband. There are times; however that I feel like chopped liver.

We live with his parents and as a 'thank you' I do the grocery shopping once a week. I am a full time student and do my own cleaning up in the up stairs bonus room we stay in. My point is that it feels like I never do enough or that I never do anything right. Every single time I get the groceries and hand my father-in-law the receipt he says "whoa! that's a lot of money" or "wow, I guess we need all this food" or they now don't get their cleaning I do and I have to start the dishwasher and unload it... am I the only person that lives here?! Don't get me started on my husband. They have always had "maids" to do all their cleaning and I just refuse to have someone else clean up the two rooms and one bathroom we have, it's just not necessary, so my hubs "needs direction" he can not see that the trash is full, or that we need to vacuum or that the toilet needs to be scrubbed, so I do it and the laundry and the grooming and dog walking and plan for his appointments and never hear a thank you!!!!!

I found myself scrubbing the tub tonight and just crying. I am so mad and hurt and just ugh!!!!!! I told my M-I-L that i couldn't go buy groceries tomorrow because I have another midterm on Wednesday and so she was nice about it and did it, but I had to hear a "woe is me" story on how she is so busy and Mondays are her only easy day... when my F-I-L came home he opened the fridge and said "good job hun" ughhhhh.

It could be worse, I guess I should just count my blessings, but I feel horrible and I am done with telling my husband I need his help or if he can be a bit more considerate. anyone got any encouragement lying around or understand me?

Hang in there honey, it won't be forever!!!! We had to live with my parents for about 3 months and it was the longest 3 months of my life!!! I'm 60 years old and still can't do anything right in my mother's eyes:eek: and whatever I do, it's never enough. Just stay strong and know it will end someday.

Bless your heart- I could never EVER live with my inlaws. Patty is wiser than I and she said it best- this too shall end. Make sure you and your hubby stick together through it because y'all need each other. When it gets to be too much, you just come right back and vent to us. Hugs!:)

Thanks, it's been 3 years and I'm about to explode. I can't even begin to explain my other frustrations. I wish I had know the extremity of my husband's mama's boy tendencies. < sigh>

thank you!!!

yes it could be worse. I wont even start about my mil. I ll just say we have no spoke to her in almost 3 years..And it has been a good 3 years. I had to cut that noose off my neck. She wasnt going to run me,

[F]I know where your coming from. I too lived with my in-laws for a time and let me just say it will get easier. When you get your own home things do change. Although I will tell you that I am still training my husband that the trash is full ect. We have been together for over 10 years now and we are approaching out thirties. So time does make things easier if for nothing else but training more so than dogs. My two yorkies have trained easier than my kids or husband together and their not done yet. :) Just hang in there things do get easier. Tomorrow will be a better day as I was always told.
Tracy.[/FONT] :aimeeyork

I sit here in absolute awe of you. There is NO WAY, NO HOW I could ever ever ever live with my MIL. Hopefully ya'll will be able to get out soon! Until then feel free to vent, scream, and all that good stuff here. Sending you hugs!

I'm the same way. I believe in communication, I am working on just sticking it out until I calm down. I don't want o say anything that may hurt anybody. I wouldn't want to start crying ( a tactic my MIL uses ... so manipulating) I wish I could just scream it off the top of my lungs.... thank you for your prayers and Jamie's puppy kisses, those are the best!

I want to tell you THANK YOU for being a conscientious daughter in law & trying to make a difficult situation work.

Three yrs is a long time, can you see the light at the end of the tunnel?

So often things seem the darkest when we are on the verge of a breakthrough. When we hurt and ache so bad, we are actually growing, preparing for where God is taking us next.

Hugs to you and prayers for things to improve very soon.

Take a deep breath. Before you know it you will be done and out of there.

I believe in what you are saying, and I know what you mean, I have to admit I don't like to hear that, I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I do believe I will soon. If that is enough to keep me I will hold to that. I have prayed and heard God promise me a house. I want so bad for that to be soon, but more than that I want a home with not only tangible blessings but those blessings that can only satisfy the soul. I'm sure this is preparing me for something.. I just hope I can get through without losing myself or my family..... I'm going to cry!!!!!!!

Hugs to you....Get your Degree, get a great job and then you both can move out! ;)

When we were first married my husband suggested moving in with my mom to save for a house. I asked him which he'd rather save money or his marriage. So I admire you for sticking it out with your in laws. It WILL all be worth it when you are finished school and can move out. Is your husband a student too? It will get better when school is over and you move on. And don't give up on training him! Like kids, they think if they wear you down you'll just do it yourself because it's easier. But if you stick with it and don't do his chores for him he'll get it eventually. I know it's hard when the garbage can is overflowing but he needs to learn that it's his job and if he doesn't do it it won't get done. (That's from hubby101...mine is pretty well trained, lol, but we've been married 20 years)

Maybe it's time to look for a place of your own? It's difficult to live with others. Even sometimes, my husband! :p

Yes, he is a student. he will be done this coming fall... can't wait! Thanks for the tip. i had a serious conversation with him on Tuesday. I think we will be alright.

I feel for you...it sure can be trying living with other people, at least your three years into this so just have a little longer to go..... you can do this!.....Try and keep your eye on the goal and gain strength through adversity....try not to let any anger, resentments or bitterness side track you....positive thoughts and gratitude. ;)

I totally hear what you are saying and I can relate. I am currently living with my in-laws too. We have many more months to go before we move to our own house. We also have hubby's brothers living under the same roof. It can be hard at times. While my MIL is okay, there are still times when things become weird and you don't have a clue what is going on. It seems that when things go wrong, it is always your fault although you are the last person to find out what happened. Its an assumption but its never told to your face so you don't even get a chance to defend yourself and now I don't even care to do so anymore because nothing can change their mind. Also, there are lots of expectations going on. You should do this that this that and after you do it, it is not good enough, never is so being me, I stopped and do what I need to do, find myself a job.My FIL he can go to the extent of asking everyone in the house if they want a piece of fruit but you and you are there right in the middle of everyone. He does it when my hubby is not home. It might be a small thing but it is not courteous at all. It shows how much you are not accepted as a family member and really sometimes no one can blame you when you don't feel like one.

If your dh has grown up with "maids" then I highly doubt if he has a clue what housework (i.e. cleaning up the trash) consists of. I've been married 35 yrs. and I still expect my dh to read my mind and do this or that. When I get annoyed he reminds me that he can't read my mind and that I need to tell him. That does get old though.:eek: There are men who automatically do house-chores:thumbup: but most do not see what needs to be done, IMO.

Thank you. I know you sent this a while ago, but it means a lot to me- the encouragement I mean. I have to have patience otherwise we wold probably have to re home our Louis and that would definitely break my heart....