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Newlyweds with pressure from you family to have kids? I'm dreading going home for the holidays because I know everyone will be asking this. My reasons to wait are valid, but no one else seems to think so. We are waiting, A we are barely making ends meet, B hubby still has 5 years left of grad school, C we've only been married 3 years, D none of my close friends or family is having kids...etc |
we've been married for nearly 5 years now :) I have a daughter from a previous relationship. She's 10. My husband and I aren't planning on having children. And I keep telling them the more I see other people's children, the more I love my dogs. :p I'd tell them to mind their own business. When and if you're ready is always up to you. :cool: |
I completely understand. I have been married for 3 years. Both my husband and I are college students, and we STILL get this kind of thing from some people (not close family luckily). Unfortunately, I don't know if we will be able to have children at all due to a recent health diagnosis and so I have no idea what to tell people when they ask, because really I don't feel like talking about the fact that I might not be able to have children with someone who is trying to pressure me like that... :( Sorry to rant, but I know how you feel. |
people should really mind their own business, unless of course they want to give you a LARGE monthly stipend FOREVER!!! |
What about answering with a big smile and a polite, "when the time is right and now is diffinitely not the right time for us.";) |
We've been married for 4 years and we get the question/comments constantly! Now that I am turning 30 I think people are really starting to worry. I want to stay home with my kids. So as soon as that can happen, we will have kids. Until then, I will just continue to tell people to "Back Off!" ;) |
Couples should have children when they fell like doing so, when they do not they usually have their own very good reasons...why do people always worry about what others do when it comes to having children... I have a friend who is going through this, she is married one year, her mother is pressuring her, yet tells her she is not going to be her babysitter...so she gets so :mad: does she just want braggin rights as a grandmother but does not know the meaning of being a grandmother...I have two grandsons..I love them, but it was my daughters choice both times... |
when the time is right, you will have your family. And tell that to your elders now .... good luck! Enjoy the time you and hubby have together now, especially with school and all ... time is at a premium ... |
I've been telling my family for a while that I'm not ever having kids so hopefully when I get married I won't be asked that. But I do constantly get asked if I've met any guys or am I dating someone...gets old:thumbdown |
Been there done that:rolleyes:, but after 14 years no one ask anymore he,he it just get very annoying somentimes, a friend of mind who was waiting becasue she was just a brand new doctor,she tell people when they ask: That is a personal matter;) |
Yes, people should mind their own business. It's a couple's decision if they want kids and when they kids. You two are waiting for GOOD reasons, and it'll benefit the kid in the long run. Personally, I can't wait to have kids. But, it won't be until I finish nursing school and my boyfriend finishes pharmacy school. And, we need to get married first ;) |
I feel you pain. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years but together for 7. It's the dreaded question. My parents don't say a word as they know it is a touchy subject in our house and it only upsets me. His family we don't see as much so it's always their first question. The problem is he wants them now, but I don't. I want to get further in my career at this point in my life. The worst is when we go to the nursing home to see my Papa because he has dementia. That is the only question he asks and he asks it every 5 minuets. "When you gonna give me a baby to spoil?". Now that my other sister is married, I just slide off the hook by saying "You should talk to Heather about that Papa" LOL. We all have our reasons for waiting to have a family and only you know when the time is right. Good luck getting through the holidays with the dreaded question. If it gets too uncomfortable, just pretend like you didn't hear the question or reply with "How 'bout them bears?" LOL:p |
Me and Bf have been together 6 years, the "when are you getting married" questions are few and far between on my side but very prevalent on his side. I even told him the script to say when someone asks "We are not getting married, and are going to have an army of gray cats" this was before Chip came along. Now its "we are not getting married, and only going to have pets as children". After that people usually back off. :D Personally I don't want kids and either does Bf, I don't usually say that to people since some with kids get offended. |
I really hate it when people ask such personal questions like that. Don't people ever think to them selves that maybe you are already trying, can't have kids or others things besides you just don't want them? I know this does not apply to you but it really irks me because my husband and I have been trying for a year now and not told anyone. Every time we get asked and we still do about once a month (been married for going on 7 years now) I just want to snap and tell them we are trying but it is not happening - ugh!! In your case you are being smart to do what is right for you and hubby and you just have to tell them kindly that it is a very private question and when you feel the need to elaborate or discuss it you will bring it up next time. |
I have been married for a little over 2 years now, and I am asked that same question all the time. Not so much from family, but for me, mostly people that work in my office. There not even Family!!! Its so annoying!!! We do plan on having kids, just not yet. :) |
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