My mother in law is driving us crazy
 

My Mother in law is separated from her Husband recently and she has been driving us crazy. She is very opinionated. Any way my Husband has too have the transmission done on his car and she made a recommendation on where to go to have it done but My husband wanted to go somewhere else and she got offended. She does that all the time. She also all the time goes to big lots and dollar stores and buys stuff for our house. I work now and want to buy ny own stuff for my house. She doesnt have money to do it. She even buys big things like a table and chairs for our hot tub area. I dont like it but if we dont take it she will be offended. I dont know how to get her to stop but me and My Husband have even gotten into argumenmts about it because he will just take the stuff and put it in our already overcrowded basement to not make waves.She went on Vacation with us and her and My Husband got into it several times. She booked to go on vacation with us next year and I hope we dont go through the same thing. I dont know what to do about her and I dont want to hurt her.

Can you just politely tell her that you apprciate her "kind" gestures, but you and your DH would like to purchase the items because you already had them picked out and that you and your DH really need some away time with just you two, so next vacation is just for you??
Would she understand??

hard topic, because usually the husbands are going to agree and see nothing wrong with what their mother is doing. And usually the wife feels like "listen to me...take how I feel into consideration, she does it cause you dont put an end to it" My MIL is a sweet person and we get along great now...keyword being NOW lol. I felt she over stepped her boundries and felt my hubby said and did nothing, in order to keep the peace...but I wasnt at peace! I had to learn how to relate to how he felt...that was his mom. he was put in a bad position. I dont know how u react to it when situation arise but ME..I would give attitude and be very mean. Once I learned to see how he was feeling and toned it down a notch he started to realize that I had valid reasons and HE had to put an end to it. Honestly im not sure what he said to her because I wasnt there but he did put his foot down and she slowly started changing. It took some time but 9 yrs into the marriage things are great with her, she realized that my hubby and I have our family and do things the way WE see best. not sure if my post helps or answers your question in any way but I guess I just wanted to stay I can relate lol

She would get offended big time. She has a shopping problem and it like she cant control herself. Her Husband made goose clothes and she was used to shopping for him all the time and now that hes gone she shops for us. Her apartment is overcrowded with stuff.The vacation i am not going to get out of shes already booked herself for the same time.

Yikes...I'm sorry! I wish I knew answers to help you.....maybe she needs to talk to someone about this problem??? :wub:

Goose clothes???

We are both in the same boat!! I want to move. Do you think that will help? I live 2 min from her. Oh and the vacation thing my MIL does the same thing. If I plan a vacation she will not only include herself but the whole family. My hubby has 2 brothers and a sister. We was going to Disney World a few years back and she made it a family vacation. We ended up not going. I was planing a Halloween Party and she changed it so she could include her church friends. It had to be a Costume party. The changed the music to all christian music. We ended up canceling it. My husband was like what happened. Until now it didnt see it but the more we have to cancel plans because of her he get it. He is going this weekend to tell her to back off or we are moving out of state. Ours is everything we try and do she buds in and changes. We feel like we are 10 and cant do anything w/o her permision. I think some mothers never know when to let go. I just hope I wont be one of those. My son is 18 and I try to only give advice when I have to but most of the time I let him figure it out on his own.

Yea you know those plastic geese people put in there yards?
Well he makes clothes for them

We are definitely in the same boat. I couldnt live that close to her. She has recently looked at houses in our neighborhood. We already live two houses down from his brother. We lived here first and everyone wants to move by us. His brothers wife drives us nuts too

I got a plan, Lets both move to a place neither would want to live and Ill be your bit-- of a neighbor and you can be mine. We can run them off. When your MIL brings stuff to your house I could come by and tell her how ugly it is. Then when my MIL comes by and does something you can be there to back me up? What ya think??

Ha Ha I think that is a great idea

Oh I got a nother one. go get some realy I mean realy ugly stuff and take it to her house. Make a big deal out of it like you just love it . See how she deals with it.

Uh! My MIL is a pain too! She tends to put her nose where it isn't any of her business. She doesn't buy us anything but when she does, yuck, she doesn't have much taste. We had problems with her during the engagement planning of our wedding. She thought it was going to be her way or no way. Finally we just had to step up, well I did, hubby thought it was okay. She also right after I had my son planned a big get together 2 days after I got home from the hospital at my house without even telling me. I had to tell her I don't think so. I was still very uncomfortable and just wanted rest. I can't stand hubbys family anyways, why would I want them over when I was already uncomfortable? Ugh. Another thing she does is anything I do she wants to do. I get a new car, she wants a new car, I buy an new outfit, she will buy a new outfit, and it might be exactly like mine. I could go on and on about that woman. :mad: LOL

You said, " she booked herself on our vacation next year" How could she do that if not invited? I would clear that up really fast. But about buying things for you, sounds like she has good intentions. just tell her politely what you have told us>

it must be MIL day... LOL.... so glad I dont live near mine... haha