Thank You All.
 

I posted this a a respond in my original thread but in case it's missed, I wanted to repost it separately. I'm so grateful for Yorkie Talk and all the wonderful people I have met here. Elaine.
___________________________________

I'm sorry, that I haven't responded here on YT. I've been reading everyones kind words but somehow, just could not bring myself to post. My boys are doing better. Kids are resiliant, but I just cannot seem to get that day out of my head. I keep wondering if I did this too early. Could I have waited and had him with me longer. I know deep in my heart that the answer is that this had to be done as he was only getting worse and there was no cure, but the memory of that day just haunts me.

We have our girls and I'm so thankful for that, but yet it seems so quiet and lonely here without him. The same barking that would drive us nuts at times, is the barking we miss so very much. My girls are all doing well, all but Bella who seems very depressed. Newman was almost 7 years old when we brought Bella home, prior to that he was our only. Bella was just a tiny sick pup at 5 weeks of age, she's almost 4 now. Mrs. McBitchy is what we called her b.c. as 6pm approached the witching hour started. She would pick small battles with poor Mr. Newman. Just growl at him and he was such a wimp. LOL. They never fought, I think it was more of a game she would play. She hasn't done any of this since Newman has left us. She's mostly just been laying where he did and just picking on her food. The others seem alright. Just Miss Bella seems so lost.

Jersey is a week shy of 6 months now. Hubby and the boys brought her home for me shortly after Newman was diagnosed with cancer. I had been so depressed and at the time we thought we'd have about a year with him. She was my Mother's Day gift and I'm so thankful for her. Jersey was spayed a couple of weeks ago and was due this week to have her stitches removed. And, yesterday, we had to take Bella in for her teeth cleaning. It was such a rough day to have to go back there.

We had Newman individually cremated, and I think I'll feel a sense of relief when he is returned to us. I find comfort in knowing that he'll be home with me soon.

Thank you all again, for all your wonderful notes. Sophie Rose. Thank you, you have been wonderful. As soon as I"m able I'll drop a note to you.

Elaine

Your sweet post has stirred up so much emotion in me right now. I am so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart anyone has to go through losing a beloved pet...family member. I hope and pray that God will lay his hands on you to give you comfort.

i am so very sorry. i tears me up to read this but i am sure i am feeling nothing compared to what you are feeling.

im so sorry your hurting.. i cant imagine your pain.... i cry just thinking
about it.

Tears fill my eyes as I read your note, Elaine. You will question the decision, but deep in your heart the answer is resting. I also had sweet Sophie cremated individually, and when I picked up her wee urn, it was very emotional. Just sobbed in the car and was so grateful she was back with me once again.

Did I ever tell you that I just love his name? Keep his things close by, smell them, rub your fingers over his tags, kiss his picture. Your baby girl does sound like she is grieving like everyone else.

Thinking of you. Warmy, Deborah

I know how sad you are feeling. It is so difficult to let them go even though it is the right thing to do. I have my Gracie's ashes and I do take comfort in that as well. Try to remeber all the good times.

I am so sorry you have to go through this mourning series, but it's all part of the grieving process. I hope God takes your hand, and makes you stronger each day.

So sad for you. The pain will ease eventually and the good memories will make you smile. Hugs to you and your family.

Dear Elaine, you wrote such an emotional note. It sure shows how much you miss your little boy. It is tough, though, and words cannot do much to aliviate the pain. I hope, as you say, you'll feel relieved when his ashes are with you. I hope each passing passing and the company of your family and little ones will help ease the pain.
Rubi

Thinking of you today, Elaine. Warmly, Deborah

my heart aches for what you and your family are going through....please know you're not alone. May time heal your heart and may all your wonderful memories bring you peace.

Kim

Thank you again.
 

Thank you again everyone. I've been posting a bit here and there. It seems like everything is coming at once. We put our little boy to rest Friday morning and a day later my mom was admitted into the hospital. She'll be coming home tomorrow with Hospice. She's in the end stages of Alzeimers and she's stopped eating. It's been terribly heartbreaking. She does know us, and she knows about our baby. The weird thing is that she called me Friday night and said that she knew that Newman was gone. She told me that she had a dream the night before. We never told her anything b.c. she doesn't comprehend too much and we were afraid she'd just get upset. She is child like right now, very afraid of everything. I knew it was coming close and I think partly that dream freaked me out. I mean how do you dream of what is going to happen the next day as if it already happened. Scarry, but I know when she does go that my Newman and she will be together. As will her and her beautiful Collie they rescued at 8 yrs. of age. Thanks again. Elaine