My baby boy Stuart
 

He was my lifeline during a very difficult time in my life. My split up from my fiancee of 10 years, and the selling of our home. He was my little buddy and how god could have taken him away from me only 1 month after all that i had lost was beyond me!
I have felt gulty and blamed myself for so long! If I only watched him more carefully, if I only brought him to my mothers house while I was going through everything he would have been safe there. If... if... if...

Stuart was 4 days shy of 5 months old. He was about 3.5lbs and had the biggest ears Ive ever seen on a yorkie! He was such a little nerd! haha

I got home from work one day and he greeted me but very calmly, did not jump up, no yipping, nothing... so I picked him up and he was WET! I realized that he was covered in his own saliva, pee and poo. I just grabbed him, looked around really quickly to make sure I didnt see any open containers that he could have gotten into and I flew out the door, didnt even lock it, and drove STRAIGHT to the Emergency Vet. I ran through the doors and yelled, "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY" and they came out and took him away from me immediately! They put me in a room and told me to wait. Every 5 - 10 mins someone would come in and update me. They tested for everything on the spot. Finally about 1/2 hour later, they came to get me, they told me that he took a turn for the worst and I should go see him and pet him. They told me he was coughing up blood and it was a matter of time. I went to him, I pet his little head and told him how much I loved him and how he meant the world to me. He took his last breath. A part of me died that day! It is still dead. Im all teary-eyed even now writing this!

The vet had to call someone to come pick me up as I was curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the exam room. I was almost taken to the hopsital by my best friend bc I was hyperventalating. That night I moved out the home I was selling and went to live at my mothers to get away from my ex and that house where my puppy got sick. I remember all the nights I laid in bed at my mothers house and cried myself to sleep because I just wanted my baby boy. Those nights were horrible! My whole life changed over night and I handled the break up better than losing Stuart.

This happened September 27, 2005. The vet brought him to me after he passed and I just held him and held him til they took him away. Funny thing about that is I never touched any of my pets that passed away, the thought grossed me out, but him I could not put down. I just petted his little head and held him in his blanket for as long as they let me.

They did an necropsy on his little body and found that he had ingested rat poison. Noone knew how he could have gotten into it, I still don't know to this day, but they found crystals in his system. I had taken him to a birthday party a few days earlier and my neice was walking him and I heard him yelp, I went running over and he seemed fine but she said she stepped on him by accident. Apparently there was a tiny tear in his liver and since rat poison essentially stops your blood from clotting, the blood was able to get through that tear and flood his entire chest cavity, essentially drowning him to death. How horrible that sounds!

Sorry I rambled for so long... I am still in pain over losing him. He forever changed me and my life. I have his ashes in a cedar urn and I have a paw print in clay that my vet gave me.

Here he is, he was such a sweet, gentle gorgeous dog! RIP my little Stuey! Mom still misses you sooo very very much!!!

I 100 % know how you feel , I'm so so VERY sorry for your loss, its just so very sad, it will take time .... thats what i keep reminding myself, i wish i knew what else to say, im not very good at figuring out what to say right now, but just maybe my baby girl ella and stuey are playing together right now ... my heart and thoughts are with you

I too completely understand your devastation of losing your baby. I lost my toy poodle a few years ago and it affected me in a way that totally surprised me. I'm a very strong person but it blew me over. Thanks for sharing your story.... I hope it helped you a little more with closure. RIP Stuey!

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Stuart. He was a little cutie.:(

I am sitting here with tears running down my face after reading your message of poor little Stuey. It is so heartbreaking and to have that happen at an already low time in your life makes it even harder, especially to try to understand why. I send you hugs and heartfelt sympathy. I will pray for you. RIP sweet little Stuey!

I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing your story about your sweet little one. He sounds like an amazing little guy and I know he will always be thankful to have had such a great mom like you! Big hugs coming your way and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. RIP sweet little Stuart. :rbyorkie:

OMG I'm soooooooooooooooooooo sorry ....I had chills reading your post and you have my sincere condolences...Poor little guy ....I don't know what to say except you did your best at the end - you knew something was wrong....they really can get into so many things :(

My heart goes out to you......I'm so sorry for your loss - he was a little doll. :( I don't want to make you cry...but thought you could have this as a memorial and tribute to him....

so so sorry for your loss..........................

ahhh you poor little baby. that wasn't suppose to happen to you. i am so sorry for your loss. i hope everything works out for you. may your heart heal soon

ahhh you poor little baby. that wasn't suppose to happen to you. i am so sorry for your loss. i hope everything works out for you. may your heart heal soon

Your story made me cry....very very sad...

That is the cutest picture!! And I'd love to print it out and put it in the front of his little urn! But could I ask you one favor? I feel like an idiot asking, but I really love it and want to keep it... could you redo his name to Stuart? I would sooo appreciate that!

He really was an absolute doll!! And sooooo very very smart and cuddly! He was a life preserver to me in a time I needed it most! I'll never understand the reasoning behind this tragic accident. Even worse, I'll never know how it happened. How he got into what he got. I have 2 boys now and I live in FEAR of letting them out of my sight or out of my home because Im so afraid of them getting something that could hurt them when I know they are safe in my house. I don't think I could handle another loss. But it won't happen! My life is settled now and my boys are #1 in it so this won't happen again! (positive thinking here!!!)

OMGosh I'm such a dunce !! :( :( you'll have a new picture apsp !!! I'm so sorry....I always feel so bad doing any RIP babies but this is the first time I spelt a name wrong - my apologies. what a big mistake that is !!

I'll make it bigger for you so it's printable too - and again - he sounds special ...I'm sorry for your loss.

Here you go...and I'm glad to hear you have 2 little guys to help you with your loss. I can't imagine my life without my girls. :(

i feel so sad for you, here i am right now crying my eyes out for the pain
you have been through...i know i can imagine the pain cause i know how if
feels to really love a furbaby...i give you alot of courage for everything you
have been through.... we are always here for you.. may god be with you
always...

Oh i am so sorry for your loss, May Stuart rest in peace xx

That is sooo cute! Don't worry about it! Its hard to remember and spell correctly all the names of all the babies (past & present) on this board! Thank you for that!!! I love it! :D

My goodness, that is so sad:cry: I'm so so so sorry for your loss, I know how devastating that is. He sure was beautiful.