Shelby 4/03/05-10/07/2013 I am not even sure I can do this, I hate bringing my feelings to the surface. I have spent the last year feeling like I could break down and cry at any moment and this will probably put me over the edge. Today marks one year since I lost my sweet little girl Shelby. She was only 8 1/2 and I never imagined that I would have her for such a short time. We spent just about every moment together every day, the longest I ever left her was once for 7 hours (son's wedding). I couldn't stand to be away from her and the feeling was mutual. The circumstances of her death made it more painful because it was during a rare family weekend together. It was supposed to be so much fun, I had looked forward to it for months. She was my everything and then she was gone. She became ill, we took her to emergency, they thought she would recover but they found cancer. I don't know how she could have cancer and I missed it. I don't know how I could leave her in emergency, how I got through any of it. It's all a blur, worse day of my life. I still feel sadness and guilt that I couldn't move when I heard the news, I couldn't be with her when they put her to sleep. I just couldn't. I didn't want her ashes and I didn't want her pony tail. My heart breaks when I think about that last day and the choices I made while being in shock. My husband and I cried every day for 3 months, hearing the sound of him weeping when he got a bowl of cereal killed me. (Shelby always ran to him knowing she would get the last bite) She was the best little love bug in the world and every day with her seemed like Christmas. She made me laugh and smile when life got tough, she stayed next to me when I was ill, she followed me from room to room and she missed me when I was away. She was small, fine sleeping in her purse as long as she was with me. We were best friends. I will love her and miss her for the rest of my life. I am not young, kids are grown up, friends are very ill, life is not always easy. I still have plenty of tears left but I am doing what I can to heal and move on. Time is such a precious thing, I can't waste it. We got our little Ali 4 months after Shelby passed. She is beautiful, sweet and funny, I love her dearly. So, today, one year after her passing, I need to pay tribute to Shelby who gave me my name here on Yorkietalk. Thank you my darling for 8 1/2 wonderful years of joy and love and comfort. I will always be Shelbysmom. |
Oh I am so sorry that you had to face such difficulty when you lost little Shelby. I know that even though time passes, it still hurts. This past April 14th was the one year anniversary of the passing of my first Yorkie, October. She was 9. Like you and Shelby, October and I spent every waking hour together. So when she suddenly passed away unexpectedly, I was in shock, at a total loss and completely devastated. I didn't know how I was to live without her. Thankfully, my husband loved her just as much and he helped me so much during that terrible time in my life. You are so right - time truly is precious. I would say it is one of the best gifts we have on this earth. We also got another Yorkie a few months after October passed away, her name is Oli. Funny enough, she is a rescue and her name before we adopted her was Allie, spelled different from your Ali, though. :) Thank you for sharing your memories of precious Shelby. Even though your time with her was short, and it is still painful for you, hold tight to the memories you have in your heart. She surely did have the best mom! Hugs to you! |
I am so sorry I am so sorry for your loss. I too had to suddenly put my precious baby girl Twisty to sleep on September 27, 2014. I had her 17 years and I know I was blessed to have her that long, but honestly it was not long enough for me. How fast those 17 went by!!! I miss her terribly everyday. I have some days that I just don't know how to go on without her. On those days it just feels like a bad dream and I just want to wake up and hold her. I look back now and if I had only knew I would have held her all day that day. If I had only knew she was so terribly sick - I understand how you feel - how did I not know??? I am so sorry for your loss and I pray you find peace and comfort. You were blessed to have her by your side for 8.5 years. God bless! |
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What a beautiful tribute to your baby, you did what was best at the time please don't have regrets...I know how hard it is to even talk to your husband about it...I too cry literally every day and moments alone are still so hard...I pray for us that we continue to fill those moments with good memories of our beautiful babies.... |
My heart breaks for you and your family. These babies become such a big part of our lives and loosing them is beyond devastating. Maybe you were just not supposed to know that she had cancer. Had you known maybe your last few months or days would not have been the same as they were. Sometimes things just happen and we have no control. You were a great mom to your little girl so don't ever forget that. I have a Lab with cancer and trust me I wish she had never shown the signs of it. Maybe just maybe it's best that you didn't know. Dogs know our feelings and play off of our emotions so maybe the fact that you were able to spend that time with her being happy was the best for you and your little girl. She loved you and wouldn't have wanted you to be unhappy. Maybe that was the plan. I know that words can't change the facts but know that you are not alone in your grieving. My vet once told me that " If you have them you will loose them". I hear those words all the time in my head but yet I can't imagine my life without animals to love and care for. You were blessed to have had such a perfect little girl in your life. Some never open their hearts to experience the joy that we all do. I pray you find peace in her sweet little memories. Hugs, Joyce |
Thank you for all of your kind messages. Loving Shelby is worth every ounce of pain I feel from losing her. She was such a character, like living with a little comedian. I know how lucky I was, having Ali makes me feel that way again. It's wonderful sleeping with a little furball in my armpit again :D Sometimes we feel like Shelby is whispering her secrets in Ali's ear. So many common Yorkie traits. I will have a Yorkie in my life forever. Thanks again. Bless you all for understanding. |
I am so sorry to read your post about Shelby. I felt like you when I lost my little Keally Jan. 26,2010. She had IBD all her life but she lived a comfortable life with meds. Keally and I were inseparable. One day she started to lose control of her legs but I knew with laser treatments she would get better. At 12 1/2 years old we had to put her down because of a brain tumor. My husband and I think of her everyday because our life revolved around her. I could go on and on of how crazy in love of our fur kid. Anyways we did go on and we were blessed with an angel. We have had her for four years now and she has turned our lives around back to happy times. We have a healthy kid now and hopefully we have her for many years. Bless you for your one year memory of Shelby. I hope the best is to come for you. Susan |
I am sorry . . Sending hugs and puppy kisses |
I'm sorry to read about your Shelby. From what you have written, she couldn't have known a better home or had a better friend. For what it's worth, you can count the people at YT among your friends when Ali is napping x |
I am so very sorry and what a beautiful tribute. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you two had a great life together. |
so sorry you lost your lil Shelby at such a young age. I had to put my lil girl down at age of 17 y/o, I am blessed to have had her that long, but still it was not long enough,I thought she would be with me until she was 20, she had Cushings disease for appox 7 years but was doing very good on meds. Then one day she just stopped eating. After 24 hours of no food I took her to my vet, they kept her for 7 days, everyday I received a call from the tech. all promising reports that she would be home soon. She was battling diarrhea, not eating, was on IV. Evey day I would visit her, everyday I saw she lost more weight. I asked the tech to be truthful with me, would she be coming home, the tech said YES. Day 7 I received a early call, the tech said to come in and say my good-byes, I had to put her down, her body organs were shutting down, diarrhea was just pouring out of her. I was in total shock, 6 days of positive reports, day 7 called to say my good byes. The pain in my heart was severe, she was not my first pup I had to put down, there were 3 before her, the pain does not get easier. I went to the vet, held my lil girl, whispered in her ear mamma loved her, held her tight so she would know I was still with her, then the tech ended her pain, how I did this is beyound me, but I had to be there for her. I know the pain you were in. I didn't want another dog, I am getting to old to suffer such severe heart pain. I donated all her things and things from all my past pups to my local no kill shelter. I cried for 6 weeks, my house was so empty, I couldn't drive my car. my mind would always go back to that phone call, and holding her in my arms. I was a hazard on the road. 6 weeks after having to put her down my vet called, the just received a 3 y/o male rescue. Long story short, I took him home, he filled that void in my life, filled that hole in my heart, and made my house a home again. Oct 1st was one year I had to put my lil girl down, Cody has helped me get through this. It is wonderful that you opened your heart to love another lil baby, it is amazing how much they help you heal. I have my little memorial of my Matese, it will stay forever, I miss her everyday, but my lil boy, my first boy is always there to cheer me up when I get down. Your Ali will do the same for you. As painful as it was for you to write about your lil Shelby, thank you for sharing. Sorry for such a long reply, I just wanted you to know I feel your pain, because I went through it, the shock, the guilt if I had known I would have held her in my arms 24/7, but like another member wrote, pups feed off our emotions, there was a reason no signs were given, those last days with our babies were normal ones, and happy ones for our furbabies, not filled with fear and stress they would have had, had we known. Be blessed that you found lil Ali that needs you as much as you and DH need her. (((hugs))) |
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