Remembering my little ones
 

Some of you will remember me, I haven't been in quite awhile, after Lily's death my life spiraled downhill quickly. I lost my beloved rescue babies you came to know very quickly. By December I was left with only my 2 IGs, Aiyana and Hannah, my service dogs, Hannah having retired due to her health. My own health took a difficult turn and left me in a wheelchair. Last May, Hannah earned her wings further breaking my shattered heart. Aiyana alone remains of my pack I had then. I also now have 2 Standard Poodles - Halona who is my mobility assistance dog, a rescue that rescued me, and my mischievous baby that just turned 20 weeks, Dezba, who I rescued with a broken leg from a breeder that didn't have the time or resources to deal with her.

Not a day goes by that Benjamin and Lily don't enter my mind. I miss my yorkie babies so much!!! Some day there will be another Yorkie in my life, but my heart needs healing time after so much pain and loss in such a short time. But I couldn't stay away.

This spring, a beautiful blossom will erupt from the pot of soil on my patio - Beneath it is my California Lily, the beautiful Lily blossom will bring happiness and peace to all that see it, just as my little girl did in her short time with me. It will symbolize renewed love and hope for the future. For my babies shall never be gone as they shall never be forgotten. I miss you Benji and Lily!!!! I always will!!!

I'm new here but wanted to send my condolences . I'm sorry for your health problems as well. I have mild m. s. so I've been temporarily disabled and in a small way relate to how challenging and life altering it is. God bless

They aren't sure what I have but MS is still a theory they are trying to rule out. Doesn't really matter to me anymore. I've accepted that the wheelchair is part of who I am now. My disabled rescues taught me that the only true disability is a bad attitude.

Health
 

Ms is one of those diseases that takes a lot of ruling out other things so is frustrating. I got lucky/ unlucky and had a lesion on my brain stem which meets criteria for automatic ms diagnosis. That and temp blindness. When I'm in pain I def have bad attitude. Guess I should take my cue from my dogs!

That's what's got me through. They have never checked my brainstem or spinal cord, just my actual brain - so they are probably missing something. But it won't change things.

Re health
 

If they checked your brain and were thorough they would have viewed the brain stem on a MRI . My scan of my spinal cord looks like Swiss cheese. I couldn't even count the lesions I had that many. Oddly enough I've never had problems walking , ms is such a weird disease. The human brain really is the last frontier in regards to the medical community IMHO .

My heart goes out to you on your sad losses. I hope your health improves.

That's half my challenge - they weren't. Until I got medicaid no neurologist would see me, so tests where really not what needed to be done or viewed by the appropriate specialists. Finally got an appointment next month to see a neurologist - And am sure they will figure out the reason. But after over a year in a chair I am sure that won't change - So I just focus on moving forward and making the best of it!!!!

And yes, MS is hard to diagnose - And can hide if the tests being preformed aren't read right or detailed enough. But weither it be MS or something else - it doesn't change what is. My primary care doctor now is also an internal medicine specialist. He knows there is something auto immune with some other problems such as incontinence, liver issues, GI issues, vertigo, and other symptoms that are vague - I trust him to figure things out, in the mean time I just move forward as I have learned from my animals.

I remember you Rescuemomma! I'm glad to see you back, but am sad to hear about your losses. I hope you figure out what is going on with your health soon.

Thank you! So do I! But regardless of if they do or not, I have learned to accept things for what they are - Has taken me a lot of work to get to that point, but I am trying to follow the example all my beloved furkids have shown me, and live my life in the moment instead of worrying about things I can't change!

I understand how much you are missing your babies and I ache for you. Our babies can do so much to lift our spirits and help with the pain that we feel everyday. I know your new babies will be a comfort to you.

I am so sorry for your losses and health problems. Keeping you in my prayers. Take care of yourself.