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-   -   Not Getting Better (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/memory-r-i-p/14494-not-getting-better.html)

kristyrae77 08-12-2005 01:13 PM
Not Getting Better
 
It's been almost 3 months, and every day I still can't believe it when I open my eyes in the morning that my baby is not here. I thought that I was starting to be better, but this last 2 weeks or so I have been crying every day again. I feel bad because I havn't wanted to visit grave, but I don't want her to be there. She's not supposed to be there, she's supposed to be with me. I'm trying to be patient and strong and figure out why I lost her, but I can't and I don't understand. I loved her so, so much that it makes me angry inside, on top of being completely heart broken. Has anybody else had all these feelings? I'm trying hard not have feeling of resentment towards the person who was watching her, but I have to fight with my own heart over it, and have been physically sick to my stomach over it. I don't want to be angry, but I am. Thank you for listening to me. I just needed to let this out.

Seary Love ~June 4, 2003-May 22,2005~

eensor 08-12-2005 01:23 PM
You are going through a tough time. Iknow how you feel exactly. My baby Gracie was taken from us in February and I still cry over her. Like you said, she is supposed to be with me and not in a grave. I know she is in heaven waiting on us to get there.

jennifermcb 08-12-2005 01:29 PM
I am so sorry for your losses. I know that each of us with healthy puppies are so grateful to have them in our lives. My heart goes out to you.

princessgracie 08-12-2005 01:34 PM
Aw. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must be very hard for you to deal with this. I know that there is nothing I can say that is going to take the pain away or that is going to make things better. But what I can say is that she is watching over you and even though she is not with you physically, she is with you spiritually. She is now your little angel. :angel2dl:

blykmyk44 08-12-2005 04:45 PM
I think i missed that thread. What happened to your baby! I understand what you are feeling. My baby died and we believe it was our vets fault. Ive gone through many emotions since also. AT first i was unbelievably sad that i just wanted to hide and not deal with anyone and then i was angry at what they did to my baby! I know it seems like the pain will never go away but it will. It doesnt mean that your love for her will lesson but you will just think of all the things that she did that change your world for the better. I dont know if you have considered another puppy not to replace her but to help you move on. We now have Pudgy and he is the greatest little guy! Ofcourse Chewy will always be our first baby but eventually you will be able to move forward and start over! Im so sorry you are going through this.

lily 08-12-2005 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristyrae77
It's been almost 3 months, and every day I still can't believe it when I open my eyes in the morning that my baby is not here. I thought that I was starting to be better, but this last 2 weeks or so I have been crying every day again. I feel bad because I havn't wanted to visit grave, but I don't want her to be there. She's not supposed to be there, she's supposed to be with me. I'm trying to be patient and strong and figure out why I lost her, but I can't and I don't understand. I loved her so, so much that it makes me angry inside, on top of being completely heart broken. Has anybody else had all these feelings? I'm trying hard not have feeling of resentment towards the person who was watching her, but I have to fight with my own heart over it, and have been physically sick to my stomach over it. I don't want to be angry, but I am. Thank you for listening to me. I just needed to let this out.

Seary Love ~June 4, 2003-May 22,2005~
I'm so sorry you are having it so hard! It well get better I promise! It just takes time! We lose a dog after 18yrs and she went to germany with us 2 times and I thought My hubby would never get over losing her! Whither you have them 18 or 1 yrs it justs as hard! Hang in there! Go talk to her and cry it helped us! She well know you loved her! lily

MeganS 08-12-2005 06:54 PM
i'm so sorry. i know exactly how you feel. there really isn't that much of a way to stop feeling that way, at least, not one that we've found. we lost our baby on may 11th. i understand that you feel like they are still supposed to be with you, they're not supposed to have a grave. you just have to know that she's still with you and still loves you. she watches over you, just like all our passed babies do. she's waiting for you at rainbow bridge and you will be together again someday. we are here for you if you ever need to talk. i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

bkessler 08-12-2005 10:18 PM
I am not sure what your story is but I can understand from experience how hard it is to lose something you you.. It takes alot of time.. Evenutally you will be able to look at the memories and picutres and realize how important she was and that she was put into your lfe to serve some purpose, even if it was for only a short period of time.. My thoughts and prayers are with you and remember, Seary is up on Rainbow Bridge playing with my Mocha baby

kristyrae77 08-12-2005 11:23 PM
Seary Love
 
Thank you for all of your words. A couple of people asked for my original story. It is in the thread Seary Love-My little Angel. It's good to know that people here are so understanding.

dianne 08-13-2005 02:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristyrae77
Thank you for all of your words. A couple of people asked for my original story. It is in the thread Seary Love-My little Angel. It's good to know that people here are so understanding.
you know it was a special thread for me to read tonight when I got on yorkietalk as Ive been thinking of my wee darling I lost last november and really feeling the grief of it today.time hasnt healed the grief and never will for me, Ive just learned to accomodate it.The trouble with loving dogs so deeply when they are here with us makes it so much harder to take when they pass on.But Ive learnt to never be afraid to show my grief and when im having a bad day I think of people like you and all the other people on yorkie talk grieving and I realise Im not alone and there are other people just like me who understand the pain I feel. THankyou for sharing your thoughts with us,you are certainly in mine.(dianne and prudence)

chachi 08-13-2005 09:03 AM
I am sorry you are hurting so much. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Julz 08-14-2005 01:14 PM
Oh, for me, when I lost my beloved St. Bernard, it took YEARS (about 3 it seems) that I could say his name without tears in my eyes and my heart breaking all over again. However, it still happens, like now as I write this to you hoping that tomorrow will be a little easier for you. There is no cure, but time does help. On top of everything, I felt I surely couln't talk to someone else about it, they'd think he was only a dog. I have lost many loved ones, but the loss of him was more painful than a lot of humans I truly loved. Hope this doesn't sound harsh and I've neve even said this to anyone before. I know your pain. I feel for you. I hope each day gets a little brighter.

sabrinasmom 08-14-2005 03:51 PM
Oh, Julz - please, please know that I feel so for you. What a horrible shock and the loss. May I suggest that there is a book about grieving for a pet and I read it when I lost my Muffy 12 years ago and it really helped me work through my grief. If I can find the name of it I'll post it here for you. I know, it's just like losing a piece of your heart.

sabrinasmom 08-14-2005 03:55 PM
Okay, I found it - I have loned mine out and it didn't come back - but this is a wonderful book - I hope you find the peace you need.

The Loss of a Pet : New Revised and Expanded Edition (Paperback)
by Wallace Sife (Ph.D.)
SIPs: beloved companion animals, pet bereavement, getting another pet, our beloved pets, deceased pet (more)
CAPs: Case History, Hartsdale Canine Cemetery, Abbey Glen Pet Memorial Park, Supportive Counseling, New York City (more)

(27 customer reviews)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julz 08-14-2005 04:12 PM
Thank you sabrinasmom, that is so thoughtful and sweet of you. I will check that out. I'm sure others that read that info. will find it helpful also. It has been 8 years since my St. Bernard Ben died. that's why I wanted to let kristyrae77 know that it really does take a long time sometimes for the pain to lessen. Her pain is still so fresh and raw that my heart goes out to her. I hope she will read the book that you have suggested also. Again, thank you.


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