So much pain
 

I feel like i need to do this because i feel like i owe it to her.


I lost my baby Chiquita July 29th 2004 when she went out to potty and never returned :( She was just past her 15th birthday and i knew she was getting down but i just couldn't let her go but she showed me that she was ready and i believe her only way of letting go was to make sure that i was not around because she knew that i would do all i could to keep her with me now as time has passed i know that keeping her with me as long as i did was just being selfish and i regret it she was completely blind in one eye and almost fully blind in the other and she was losing her hearing and had arthritis in her hips at the time all i could see what not letting my sweet angel leave me now i understand why she had to and feel so bad for not letting her go sooner :( She will always be in my heart in that special little place that can only be filled by her i know she is still with be as i can still feel her presence all around me she will be missed but i know now she is in a better place and that i will see her again someday until then i love you my sweet little Chiquita Ann. Mommy still loves you and always will you gave me so much love in the short life that we shared together and i will never forget you until we meet again sweetheart

I can feel your pain and I'm so sorry. It hardly seems fair that these babies, who give us so much unconditional love, have such short lives. I wish you the best.

Thank you so much for the good wishes and yes they do give us so much unconditional love so much so that sometimes it is just to hard to let them go it will be 4 years this July and it still hurts so bad i think that the paind is something that never really goes away but i am glad though because if it did we might start to forget and that is something i never want to happen. She wasn't a yorkie but she was the love of my life :love:

Aww Mary I'm sorry. I can say I have been there and know how you feel. I just try to think how happy they are running and playing and not hurting any more....they are with Jesus.

Thank you knowing that does make things a little easier doesn't it :) I just wished the pain would ease a little it still hurts as bad now as it did back then :(

Mary..Please know my heart is with you.I am sending hugs 4ever your way!!I know she's blessed to have you as a momma!!!

Hugz
Mary

Mary, I'm so sorry. She knew she was --and still is-- loved, and she probably knew that it would just kill you if you found her after she had passed. I believe that she left out of love for you, like everything else our babies do. :)

She's still with you, and one day you'll be able to see her again!

Hugs!
Megan

She was a beautiful little girl and is even more beautiful now that she is romping in the fields of grass and flowers over the bridge, free of pain - while she waits to be with you again. I am so sorry.

i am so so sorry for your loss, may god be with you...

I'm so sorry prayers coming your way.

She was a sweetie. I am sorry for your loss and I hope your pain turns to happy memories.


Sheilagh

Our Lhasa was 20 and she did the same thing. She had bad arthritis and just was not happy. She never ever ran away or anything previously. One day she just left and never came back. We knew she was ready to go and wanted to do it in her own little way.

My new friend, I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. Let me know if you ever need anything. :hug:

You are holding onto the guilt of not wanting her to pts and I can understand that completely. Sophie was 13, so very ill and didn't want my beloved companion to leave. Poor little pup was holding onto life for me, and one of the hardest decisions was to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge. Your precious Chiquita's angels were with her during her journey. Grieve and remember the joy and beauty she brought to your life. Warmly, Deborah PS She is the most beautiful pup, loving and gentle eyes.

I am so sorry:( She was beautiful

I am so sorry for your pain and I fully understand it. ~Hugs~ I loved the pictures of her. You could see "sweetheart" in those eyes.

I recently read a Dean Koontz book that revolved around a Golden Retriever Rescue and a special dog (The Darkest Evening of the Year). In it, there was a passage that seemed to just hit me at the moment I read it talking about why we love dogs when we know it will involve pain.

"'Dogs lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you're going to lose a dog, and there's going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her, never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence, because you can't support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There's such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and for the mistakes we make because of those illusions.'
..... Dear God, she heard nothing awkward in that. In that was the perfect truth of her eight years in rescue, as she could never have put it into words."

Awwww, what a sweet looking baby girl she was. I'm so sorry for your loss:cry:

I just want to say thank you all you. I can feel the caring from each post and it does help ease the pain more than you know. Thank you so much everyone.


Hugs
Mary

I'm sorry...
 

I'm sorry for your lost. I'm sure your dog lived a full & happy life. I know she's in a better place now. I just lost one of my girls last month, too, and it's devastating! She got ran over by a car and died instantly. We really miss her...:cry:

She looks like she was a lovey dovey.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your heart heals soon.
We never stop loving them. They always live on in our hearts!

what a beautiful passage, and so true. Thanks for sharing that!

chiquita
 

I am so very soory to hear about you baby girl.
she is in a better place now.


I am not good at this as I am crying myself reading your story
I am glad you chose to share here.