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My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what you are going though. I never got to know you here personally on YT. I send my condolences to you for Natalie's passing. |
My deepest condolences. :cry: |
This makes me cry every time I see it in the New Posts area. I'm sorry for your loss Dena. I don't know you that well and didn't get the chance to meet little Natalie, but you both touched my heart. RIP Precious Natalie!!!:angel2dl: :2hearts2: |
Dena,:hearts-xx Just checking in here to see if you had posted. I am here for you Hon, we all are. Please come talk to us. We understand so much what you are going through. Please know how much we care about your hurting heart. Warm hugs, Lauren:hug::2hearts2::2hearts2::hug: |
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I just now am seeing this thread ... I am so very sorry for your loss of Natalie. I am so very very sorry. :( |
1 Attachment(s) I feel like such a fool..... Of course, it's normal, and expected - to be saddened by the loss of a pet... or anything we love..... Gosh, a job - a relationship - any part of our lives that we no longer get to share.... But never, could I ever fathom that my heart would ache with such intensity... My roommate is a nurse... so in my recent "haze", I didn't think much about it when she drug me back to the hospital yesterday.... I figured she knew what she was doing... come to find out, my appointment was with a Psychotherapist ... (though I should have known the influence of her mother, a psych nurse, had some involvement!) Anyway.... after a couple hours of my tears, ranting and echoed ad-lib's of how "FINE" I was.... evidently she felt I'd be best served with a script for Cymbalta..... Good Lord! Am I THAT crazed with the loss of my little Natalie?? That I can't even FUNCTION without medication???? <<sigh>> Clearly.... I am.... Ironically, without my ever mentioning it to anyone, I received a very touching PM just this morning, from a caring YT member who told me that maybe going to the doctor for something to "help me cope" would be a good idea... and could be a welcome source of comfort in getting through. After that, I suppose I began to feel a little less embarassed in "needing" it... (so I want to thank that member, so very much...) I still have the hives - though I think they are beginning to subside.... I slept some last night, I'm sure with some assistance of the medications... and about 3am this morning, I was able to put away the rest of Natalie's things... I keep telling myself to "Get a grip!! - - She was a DOG!!" - - - but she wasn't JUST a dog to me.... would it be sad to say that she was my BEST FRIEND??? I mean, what does that say for my life?? That a DOG was the best friend I had??? But she was even more than that.... she was my baby..... and we fought so hard together to make her well..... I thought we were almost there!! All these other little furfaces running around here.... jumping up for me to hold them.... trying so desperately to get my attention...... and I just CAN'T give it!! Poor Gracie... and Cessy.... and even the big dogs.... I know they're probably going through something too - and they don't understand why I'm not able to be close to them..... and maybe I'm horrible.... but I just can't bear to touch them..... I just don't have anything left to give! It's been four days..... it feels like only hours ago, I lost her... Am I being histrionic?? Maybe.... My daughter called last night... to tell me that she's giving my only grandson (who just turned a year old on Christmas day, the day I lost Natalie) - a new baby sister or brother.......... I couldn't get excited for her.... and I'm sure I hurt her because of it.... She's an exceptional mom and I know she and her husband are thrilled with the news. I am happy for her.... I feel horrible for not being able to show her... I'm a fairly intelligent person... I know the "stages" of grief and what must be in order to get past it... I'm aware of the reality of the day to day and how one must, if even forcibly, take the time they need to experience each and every emotion that comes... and then finally, tuck the memories into a safe place inside you - - and go on... I know all this.... and try to abide.... yet when you are the one experiencing it... there is such a substantiated need to dismiss intelligence .... and just curl up and cry.... Here is my memorial video to my girl.... It's a little small on the page, but if you click on the box in the video player, like the screen-shot posted below, it will bring it up in a larger screen for viewing... The words of the music I chose, just pours out what my heart is feeling... I hope that by sharing this with so many who have cared for her, I will be one step closer to letting go of the pain of losing my precious Natalie and rejoicing in the knowledge that she is no longer holding on to the weakness and struggles that embodied her vivacious and oh so loving soul... http://uncutvideo.aol.com/users/mom2...f1fb94?index=0 |
That video is soo sweet, it brough tears to my eyes:(. Im praying for you. |
Dean, that is just beautiful and I bawled through the whole thing:cry: Let yourself grieve, hold your other babies close, as you need each other right now:unlove: When my Starr died, I was beside myself, I could not eat, sleep, or function for days. I know how you're feeling, and I also know that you will get through this, just as I did, and you'll be okay:love: Lean on us, your YT friends. Everyone here really helped me to get past my grief and be able to smile at memories of my baby girl. Natalie was so lucky to have such a wonderful Mommy, and I know she wouldn't want you to not enjoy other things in life now that she's gone to live with Our Father. (((((((((((((((((Dena)))))))))))))))))))))) |
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That was just beautiful! You've got me crying now! |
Oops, I see I said "Dean", it was too late to edit, sorry DENA!!!!:love: |
omg that video has me bawling! The way she looked at the camera reminds me so much of London, idk they look alike. :( We are here for you Dena,i am just so sad. She was such a precious tiny girl. |
Oh Dena your video was beautiful! I\'m so sorry you\'ve lost your baby. I can\'t say that I know how you feel because I\'ve never lost a baby. Jamie is my first. But I can tell you that I already know that I would be DEVESTATED if something happened to him. So you take the time that you need to ease the pain. And feel no shame in taking something to help you with the grief because even the very strongest of people need help sometimes. Pain is pain and the heart knows no difference between the loss of a human or the loss of a pet. All my love, Misty |
What a beautiful vidoe of your precious baby Natalie:( :( I am sorry for your loss:( |
Oh Dena, How presious and beautiful, iam crying with you, I know how special she was to you, she was to all of us, Iam so happy to see you talking about her even though it brings such sadness:( HUGS to you :lovewings may God help to heal your heart. |
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