| laurenr | 10-15-2007 08:37 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pessica
(Post 1435298)
Well more time has passed and I'm still trying to get through a day with more positive thoughts. Its very hard. I came here late tonight as I have not been able to sleep well the past few days. I wait till my body is so tired that it just falls asleep on its own, I can't close my own eyes cause when i do i see the most graphic images that are like torcher for me. I'm sitting here in tears because I keep replaying what happened to Zoey in my head, and seeing it happen. I feel like I'm going to be haunted forever with this image. Its the most painful thought and feeling I've ever experienced in 24 yrs. I feel like I failed Zoey and did not protect her enough, I feel like I let her die and it was my fault that I did not protect her enough to prevent what happened. I feel like I caused this happy joyful beautiful and precious sweetheart so much pain, the most tramatic sudden death a dog can have. I feel so much pain for her and I feel so bad.
I'm so sorry for venting like this. But I feel I can come to all of you for this support to help me get through it.
I couldnt give Zoey a full life and I feel like a terrible person for letting such a young baby die the way she did. :( :cry2: :cry2: :cry2:
| Aaaaw Hon, I know how you feel. Years ago, I lost my tiny girl,Jeenee. She drowned in our swimming pool while I was at home. A visitor to my house had left the door open to the garden, and I did not even see it. I found Jeenee, tried desperately to save her, to no avail. That image of her haunted my every waking moment,even my sleep. I went through the same awful guilt you are feeling - how could I have let this happen to my most precious baby girl. But like your situation, you have to know that it was a tragic accident. I have watched your video of little Zoey, barking at herself in front of the mirror.... I could hear your voice in the background, and the love you had for this little dog is so very obvious. We try everything to love and nurture, protect them, but sadly some things are simply out of our control.
Don't bottle up you grief. If necessary, come here and vent as much as you need to. It helps. The members here totally understand and support you. You were NOT a bad Mommy. Your Zoey experienced so much love in her short life, and it came from you. I know it seems impossible now, but time will heal your grief. Please PM me any time if you need to.
Huge hugs to you for the day,
Lauren:ghug: | 