FIL & my Yorkie boy
 

This conversation actually happened 2 days ago but I am still not able to get it off my mind. I am fine when I don't think about it but when I do it just don't feel good in the heart :( .

Hubby & I is moving out by the end of this month to my in-law's-basement until we have another place to call our own. My MIL is okay with Siu Pao now but not my FIL. Two days ago, he said to me that there are rules in the house of which the first thing is, Siu Pao is not allowed to go to the main floor AT ALL and is confined to the basement which I don't agree to and never will so we reached a consensus of he will be in the main floor when I am there and I will bring him down with me when I go to the basement which I plan on doing anyways because I like to keep him close to me but I really don't want to leave him in the basement when I am out because he will cry-he has separation anxiety. Second, he said Siu Pao has to be bath more often because he smells :confused: :confused: :confused: I bath him once a week and wipe him when I need to and I don't think bathing him twice a week would be the best unless he was playing in mud and is all dirty. I just have a feeling he is gonna pick things because he doesn't like Siu Pao.

The next thing, totally unrelated to Siu Pao was "Don't expect your MIL to do EVERYTHING"...I was like :mad: So far every time I was there, I have helped out with house chores on top of my own stress of moving, trying to find a new place, cleaning the basement, keeping Siu Pao away from my FIL. The only one who doesn't help out in the house is himself (and he is retired). I really don't know if it was my MIL who complained or he is the culprit himself but it just isn't fair because so far, we don't even dare to ask much from her to help except for puppy sitting for Siu Pao when I am away which we paid her back. I would have sent him to a puppy sitter if she said no. We gave her a choice. I don't know...maybe I still don't really feel like I am part of their family? I also feel that hubby as the eldest, gets a different treatment compared to his 2 younger brothers who are still staying at home which I really feel so sorry for him and it hurt me. I think the way he cope with it was just to not deal with it and seldom open up to his parents. He is to the point of not doing very much because they won't appreciate it as much as compared to his brothers simply because the expectations on him are much higher.

After babbling, I am not sure what I want out of posting this...any feedbacks will be appreciated. While I understand some people just do not like dogs, do they have to hate them?

hey, I guess there isnt much you can do but follow their rules:( It is their home and whenever you stay at someone elses home you have to respect what they say. one approach that may help is talking to your husband. Explain to him how you feel and maybe he can talk to them and tell them how you are feeling. You can even try explaining it to them yourself. My I love my In-laws but girl I give you credit I could never live with them...even temporarily lol

We wouldn't too if we had a choice. I hope I will be able to hold it until we move out and I will be glad when we have our own home (it will be in another year or so) where Siu Pao could be free to go wherever he wants.

I understand :-) Im sure everything will work out! sorry if i wasnt much help lol

Maybe FIL will learn to love your baby too in time. They have a way of winning people over. Maybe the 2 left at home dont help out much and they will see you are willing to help out. Good luck. I had to move home after my divorce. It is not easy, but it is only temporary!

Sounds like your FIL is just a miserable person. Maybe, hopefully he'll warm up to your baby once the furbaby is there.

He is. Don't think he has much feelings/emotions for anyone. We have been visiting with our furbaby when we can (almost weekly or bi-weekly) for the past 1 year and nothing has improved. At this point, I think it never will. Things with my MIL has improved just not my FIL. There were a few times, my furbaby tried to lick his leg and he nearly kicked him. If he did, I would lost it for sure and I don't even want to think what will fly out of my mouth when I lost it.

You have to live like this for a YEAR??? Oh my. That sounds pretty tough.

Do you feel safe leaving your baby alone w/ the FIL, I mean, he wouldn't hurt him would he? For example, what if he's in the basement and won't stop barking, how will the FIL handle it?

Do you have any other options where you could stay? i mean im sure you have went over all your options but gosh i feel so sorry for you.

Well first my dear... MIL & FIL's are just that - cant live w/ em' and its better livin w/o them - ya know... And unfortunately while your in their home, you have to respect their rules... Just because you love your dog, you cant expect them to.. And I think he's being quite fair in allowing him at the home PERIOD. What would you do if they just said NO? In times like this, I always try to tell myself that it could be worse and definately try to find the positive in it! Its all you can do... Hope this helps....

Thank you again for all the feedbacks. If I ever do go out, I have to make sure either my MIL or my hubby or one of his brothers will watch him while I am gone. If I do go to work, we will place him with a daycare. I have thought of the fact that at least he didn't say "no" but if he said that I would not want to stay in Canada anymore and will go back to where I come from with my hubby-it just is never an option for me to give him away. I just hope he doesn't kick my boy because I am not sure if I can take that, his house or not. I am holding on to the hope that we will have our own house very soon and all will be well.

Well, if he's a kicker - he should expect to be kicked in return. :rolleyes: