Dear Dogs and Cats:
 

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children .


Judy

I've seen this before and laugh my head off everytime I read it :)

:lol tears :sidesplt:

this it the funniest thin I ever read !!!:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

oh that is TOO good.. especailly the bathroom part.. layla ALWAYS thinks she has to come too... and the part where if they have babies you can sell their children.. oh that's good! thanks for the laugh!

:lol tears

:p I actually have the "notice to visitors" printed under a picture of Toto ... in a nice frame prominently placed for visitors to see upon entering our home!! :rolleyes: Those who know us well also know that we mean it!! ;)

My youngest daughter sent that to me and we all have that posted in our homes..:cat4: :Puppy2:.....If you need a good laugh just read it over and over again...:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears...

I just loved that.:thumbup:

Yes, I read this one somewhere before and I LOVE it!!! It is toooo funny.
I send a copy to my parents in Japan (my father understand English) and made him translate for my mom and they had good laught!!!

:lol tears What a hoot! I have never seen this before. I certanly have a few frequent "visitors" that need to see the rules!

That is too cute and oh so true!!! :p