Thanks for bumping this up - I missed it the first time it was around! I about died from laughter reading it.

Here is one of mine -

When I was younger and looked good, I had a little black dress on (looking ever so cute). I worked at our local university and this new (really good looking guy) was hired to be my boss. Well, one day, we walked into a building to look at a room that had been burned by faulting wiring. I had put my sunglasses on my head (again trying to look cute). I wasn't familiar w/ the building at all. We walked down the hallway to survey the damages to the hallway and room. As we walked around the corner, I walked right into a divider wall, knocked me down, knocked my sunglasses off, etc. He was aways behind me, and when he came up to me, he asked if I ran into the wall...I was like "NO". Anyway, I just about DIED!!! I had a headache for about three days after that and I never could look at him again!

Another time, my DH and I were Christmas shopping at a local mall - it isn't very big and it gets WAY crowded during the holidays. For the life of me, I don't even know why my husband was with me - he hates to shop. Anyway, we were walking amoung the crowds and every now and jumping into a store, etc. Well, we had just come out of one store and merged into all the people. He let out this huge fart and was really nasty....without skipping a beat, he turned to me and rather loudly said "Whew! What did you eat today??!!". I about died! Course, I am sure that everyone knew it was him --- I hoped anyway!

LMAO :eyetearss :eyetearss

One more......

I had just pulled up to a parking spot when I worked at our local university. It was summer time and we were in between camps, so there were plenty of parking spaces. At the time, I had some sort of low to the ground sports car. I had had my umbrella open earlier that day because of rain and I had closed it and shut my door and just put it between the door and my seat. Well, I get back to the building and I was getting out and my foot somehow got caught on the umbrella strap - I fall out of my car, my big cup of coke (when I was addicted to coke) went everywhere and so did all the papers I was carrying - I didn't think anyone seen me - but I then realized there was a news van parked across the lot and there were two guys in there! They were busting out laughing! Come to find out, they were doing a segment on the parking situation on campus (our campus had a bad parking problem) and of course, they picked the wrong day to come because there were no camps in to see that there was a parking problem (lack of parking spaces). I was sooo afraid that I would be on tv falling on my face.....but that night, the segment aired and all it showed was me getting out of my car! Whew! I was embarrassed enough, I sure would have died if that aired on tv!!!!

Okay, just had to share two of my daughters (shame on me, I know, bad mom)! But, recalling these embarrassing moments made me think of some of her too.....

When she was in public school, fifth grade, I had just pulled up to the front of school to pick her up. It was the first day back after the Christmas break and there was still some snow on the ground, but it was mostly a muddy mess. Instead of walking on the sidewalk, like normal people, she cut in front of a group of boys (cute boys, one that really liked her) to say "see ya tomorrow". The grassy (well, muddy area) was on a slope. She had on her Birkenstock shoes (which are not the best for traction) and slipped and fall. She jumps up and walks alittle faster down the slope towards my truck. BIG MISTAKE! She slips again, right as she gets to the truck --- I had to lean over to see her because I thought what the heck, where did she go?? I lean over and open the door, course, at this time, I am just cracking up, tears streaming down my face and all. I had thought she had slid completely under my truck. She gives me that "tween" dirty look and jumps in. The boys are busting out laughing and she is like DRIVE MOM, JUST DRIVE!!! She did not want to go back to school.........but I told her if the boys teased her to tell them that they blew their chance because they stood up there laughing instead of helping her! Boy, to this day, I see that so clear and it gets me in tears!!!

The other happened this Christmas - she had on some cute guacho (sp) pants w/ her ballerina flats - just all cute and stylish like she always is. We had all just opened gifts. The kids were all playing w/ theirs and she was sitting on the couch, kind of crossed legged. She gets up to do something and her foot gets caught in the wide legs of the pants. Well, inside of falling, she puts her foot down to stand up and she pulls her pants down!! She froze and then quickly pulled them up! Everyone busted out laughing - which is horrible for this to happen to her at this age, you know?! Luckily, she laughed it off (after the initial shock) and said, well, atleast I had my cute undies on! OMG! Wonderful holiday memories!!!!

I am laughing so hard right now i have tears running down my face! This one wins!!! LOL

I don't know if you would call this embarrassing, or just plain funny.....

Hubby and I brush our teeth in the shower. DH ALWAYS gets a blue toothbrush and I get a purple one..... For several days I noticed some brown looking flecks of stuff on Hubby's toothbrush -- and I thought well yuck .... what the heck is that....

Some time later, I was in the kitchen fixin' dinner and my 6 year old middle son walks by scraching his hiney.... I mean he was doing some major scratching..... Being a smartmouth mom, I told him that he needed a toothbrush to get in the crack. (see where I am going here) He said, I have one Mom -- I immediately knew what those little brown flecks were :eek: :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

These are HYSTERICAL!!!!

This one isn't that embarrassing, because there wasn't an audiance. But my brain was going a million miles a second when it happened.

I'm Yente the matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof *our opening night is tomorrow! w00t* and my first line when I walk out is "Golde, darling! Where are your daughters?" So it was one of our first rehearsals and this is what happened:

Me: *enters stage* Yente, Darling! Where are your daughters?
Claudia: Yente...I'm Golde. You're Yente.
Me: Yes Golde, I know. that's what I said...
Claudia: Actually, you called me Yente...
Me: Did I? Well, they do say the mind goes with age.

Then we continued the scene. But it was so embarrassing because it was a new director and ugh. But now the whole cast laughs about it. :p

I just read your post to my husband.:eek: He reminded me of the time he had to take a shower in our kids bathroom and he picked up the shampoo bottle and poured some on his head. He knew immediately that something was wrong because it was real diluted and when he smelled it he knew that our son (7 at the time) had peed in it. When my husband asked him why he did it he said he just wanted to see how long it took to fill it up. Boys will do the darndest things.

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! Oh wow! What a surprise!

Oh jeez I thought of another one. This one I'm still not able to laugh at.

It just happened a couple weeks ago.

Lunch had just ended and we were back in class. There was something wrong with the cheese the sandwiches and my stomach was bothering me. It really got to the point where I thought I was going to throw up so I asked my teacher to call the office, to tell them to call my mom so she could come get me.

SO I'm standing there in the middle of the class room and I felt like I was going to die my stomach hurt so bad. and then my teacher said "Do you have your homework?" So, I was kind of annoyed because she was more concerned about my homework than me. But I went over to my folder to get it, and it wasn't in there. Lovely. So I *quietly* told her that I didn't have my home work, but I asked her to please call the office because I really didn't feel well. Instead of calling the office she starts rambling about me not being prepared for class. I'm standing there feeling like death with my teacher harrassing me so what do I do? I started crying. I was seriously like pushed over the edge and I just started crying right there in the middle of everything and everyone. I was mortified. I went into the bathroom and she called the office because she had some pity for me. :rolleyes:

embarrasing moments
 

OMG, these stories are sooo funny.

Here is mine:

I was three month's pregnant and decided to go to church one Sunday morning. I had a good breakfast, felt fine and sat myself in the pew. Half way through the service we stood and started singing a hymn. I started feeling real clammy and panicky..... I knew I couldn't get out of there, my head started spinning and I could feel myself going under. Well the next thing I knew I was puking my guts out during the service, and at the same time fainted on the floor in a pile of puke! Not only did I manage to get it on me, but some of it went on some lady in my pew! I came to and these people were helping me get up. I was MORTIFIED.

Then, five years later pregnant with my second child I decided to go to a fabric store and look at material for some maternity top. Same thing, I started spinning passed out and puked on the floor.

I only got sick twice when I was pregnant, and both times it had to be in a public place!

The only one I can think of is a time when I went camping with my best friend and our then boyfriends. We set up a tent beside a small lake and since we wanted to be close to the water for fishing the campsite was on a bit of a slope down to the water. Well the guys went off one night out for a walk leaving my girlfriend and I to stay by the fire and watch the fishing rods.

I had to go pee so I walked a just a little ways a way, thinking I was smart by putting my butt facing the lake down hill. Suddenly as I was peeing I lost my balance and fell over backwards with my pants around my knees. I started rolling ass over teakettle all the way down the hill laughing so hard I kept peeing all over myself finally knocking over the fishing rods and almost ending up in the lake.

My girlfriend watched this whole thing by the fire laughing like crazy. Thank god the guys were not around to see me.

OMG ROFLMAO:eyetearss

I love these stories... It is soooo good to know I am not the only one to make a fool of myself!:D

OMG I am laughing my butt off here!!

I have a couple to share.

When my husband and I were dating and doing what some dating couples do :eek: lol he planned a special evening out (movies dinner etc) and told me to "wear something easy to get into" :eek: :eek: :rolleyes: So I ofcourse am all excited so I put on this sexy red imitation silk dress and off we go. My dress had a loose skirt and was very soft and only zipped and once it was unzipped it would drop right off (well he DID say easy to get into!!) So we stop for gas and it was a windy night...I told him I would run in and pay after he pumped. So he got done and I am walking into pay and here comes this huge gust of wind and yep, my skirt flies right up over my face! Thank god I was wearing undies!! He comes running up and grabs my skirt, jerks it down, and walks in with me HOLDING MY SKIRT DOWN. So I hand over the money and the attendant is laughing and Hubby and I walk back out to the car the same way we walked in (didn't want a repeat perfomance) and when we got back in the car he asks, "Why did you wear THAT dress?" I replied that he wanted something easy to get into and his rely was "Not THAT EASY!!!"

We got married two years later and had our daughter that first year. We went shopping at Walmart and my daughter was only a few weeks old. I wanted my hair cut so my hubby said he would just look around with the baby while I got my hair done. I had just nursed our daughter so we figured she would be ok while Daddy shopped. Well it took longer to do my hair then we thought and when I was finally done I charge off looking for my husband. I hear a baby crying in Sporting Goods so I head over there and sure enough I recognized my husbands voice trying to soothe our daughter. As soon as I round the corner my husband blurts out, "I can't pop out a tit like your mom can!" I never wanted the floor to swallow me until that moment!

A few years later, we had moved from Tennessee back to Ohio. Our daughter was 20 months old and I was 6 weeks away from delivering our oldest son. Well, since my hubby had changed jobs we lost my medical coverage once we moved to Ohio so we had an appointment at a county office to see if I could get medical on myself just until the baby was born. The waiting room was set up with toys for children and we were enjoying watching our daughter play with a doll and a doll stroller. Suddenly the little doll falls out of the stroller. Our sweet little girl walks around the stroller, picks the doll up, turns her over and SPANKS HER THREE TIMES ON THE BUM! :eek: puts the doll back in the stroller and points her tiny finger at it and GROWLS! :eek: :eek: There were about a dozen other people in the room and they all crack up laughing and hubby does too and I am sitting there sputtering "where did she learn THAT?" (we had never spanked at that point in her life nor had she been around kids that were spanked far as we knew at that time). I was very glad when they called our names and we got to leave!

Ok, this is my BAD most embarrassing thing EVER!!

I don't embarrass easily at all, but this is BAD! Can't even believe im sharing!

I was about 15 years old and my parents were taking me school clothes shopping, well I had a major stomacheache and felt those familiar rumblings! YIKES! soooo my mom picks out some PLAID pants and another pair of pants with little colored squares on them! As she was doing this I realized there was NO bathroom in the store and I was not going to make it... I tried sooooo hard to hold it in but *some* got out! Now Im standing in the store KNOWING what is in my pants and my parents are FORCING me to try on NEW pants! so instead of telling them cuz it was WAY too embarrassing I had to go into the dressing room and try on the pants, needless to say they fit and I had my parents buy them bc I COULD NOT put them back on the shelf, but I barely ever wore them cuz they were soooo not my style!!!! HAHAHAHA and I just wanted to get out of the store and go home! I spent that night doing laundry!

OMG!!! thats hilarious:lol tears

Ok, so this is probably gonna sound a bit gross, but hey, guys do it all the time, so why can't we? LOL! I was 17 years old when I got married and my hubby had a bad habit of addressing his farts, he'd let one rip and say, "Honey, I farted for you." Ya, what a gift hu, lol. So, I got into the habit of addressing mine to him as well, lol. Well, time went on and we had our first child, a daughter. She was the cutest lil thing you ever did see, had dark brown curly hair, as curly as Shirley Temples and had the biggest brown eyes. So, when she came along, we got in the habit of addressing farts to her as well. Well, I'm here to tell ya, kids really do learn what they hear! Jess was a lil over a year and a half, I'm in K-mart with her right at the checkout. They lady ringing us up looks at Jess and says, "Oh, look at all that curly hair, you're so pretty, what's your name?" My year and a half year old daughter looks at her and says, "I'm Jessica Ann, I farted for you!" The lady looks at her like, hu, and asks again what her name is, Jess says even louder, I'm Jessica Ann and I farted for you!! Oh I about DIED!! I picked her up out of the cart, left everything there and walked out, decided I didn't need ANYTHING I had went shopping for, lol.

LMBO!!!!!!!!! that is Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!
thx for bumping...this thread is awesome!

mine happened not too long ago... :rolleyes: 4 or 5 years ago... I use to go dancing at the clubs and one time I was with my friend and I was dancing getting down ... then I felt cold air at my butt...:eek: yeah my pants split on my butt and i was wearing a thong:eek: :eek: so I had my friend behind me holding me... it was pretty funny because everyone was looking at as and she was saying that everyone was going to think that we where lesbians and I said I didnt care and told her to NOT MOVE!! lol

all theses are to funny

I have too many stories to name but the one that comes to mind is when my son Tyler he is 14 now and 3 when this happened ... We were going down the aisle in Walmart and he was famous for digging through my purse and I was talking to people and shopping and minding my own business... All of a sudden I started passing people and they were looking at him and laughing...

To my surprise he had a (sorry guys) Tampon in his mouth acting like he was smoking it...

Now mind you none of us smoke none of our family or anything so I asked him Tyler where did you see that and he said ...on TV:cool:


The story on my boy who is 7 now and 2 at the time we were going through the mall and I was holding him and I was talking to a group of people and from no where I was trying to get him to say his alphabet and count and show them how smart he was and he decided he was going to do his own thing so he reached in my shirt so fast and yelled "BALL" and began to squeeze.. I said oh no hunny that is not "YOUR BALL"... !:cool: :cool:

Here's one...
 

I was teaching pottery in high school. The class was 10th -12th grade. i had a bunch of really crazy seionor boys.

One time I was loading the kiln, and all the kids were sitting at this big long wood shop like table working on their clay projects. Every time I looked over they would all smile these big cheesy smiles. I was only a few feet away. I thought it was weird but I just would smile back and keep loading the kiln.
A girl walks over to me and wispers in my ear Mrs. Foster... Your zipper is down! I look down and sure enough my zipper is wide open! I look up and every student is looking at me with big stupid grins on their faces... I have one second to react. So I say, (As I proudly zip my pants back up) Oh well at least I was going comando today!:eek: :eek: :eek: THe whole clas about died with laughter and the embarressment was broken!!!:eek:

another time (Same class)

I had to show the class how to pull a mug handle. They were all making mugs on the wheel. When you make a mug handle, you have to keep wetting your hands, and the clay and pull this cone shape, into a long handle. It looks very sexual. :rolleyes: So I know how it looks and I know these kids are not let me off the hook about it. I call them over to the long table so they can stand around and see what I'm doing. I start, I'm explaining and making my handle... and I am not making eye contact with any of them! There is not one word coming from the kids. (NOT ONE WORD) so I make the mistake of looking at this one girl.... she has her eyes WIDE OPEN ...and she is trying soooooo hard not to laugh. I knew they were all making faces at each other sooooo i say, ok we all know how this looks lets just get this over with already!!!!
Well they didn't know I KNEW what it looked like!!!! (Don't ask me why they didn't think I knew... I was married and I'm not that much of a dork!) Any way the boys were on the floor with feet in the air laughing...(No kidding) and the girls were just laughing their heads off....
The next day all the boys were MAKING MUG HANDLES AND SHOW OFF ALL ABOUT IN CLASS!!!!

oh my gosh. I'm cracking up here. LOL these are so funny!!

I have one. Its not my most embarrassing thing ever, but it was still pretty embarrassing. This past Friday night, I was at rehearsal for my school's show (Beauty and the Beast). In the opening scene, I am the baker's wife and I have to run after him (the baker)when he walks away. I had taken off my shoes, and I had on socks. Everything was going PERFECTLY and I went to run after him and I got about 3 feet and my feet went in one direction and my body went the other. I landed flat on my face in front of the whole cast and all the parents who had come to help out with some things. I was down and up in like .2 seconds and everyone was laughing and clapping. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

My friend told me it looked all matrix-y because I was flailing as I went down. :p

OK, here's mine. My 13 year old was 3 years old at the time and he was very precocious, he would talk to anyone and sometimes we were afraid of what he would say but he was also really cute. Anyways, we run into one of my husbands cousins and we're talking and Anthony interrupts and says to her "Hey are you old?" Now we're getting a little nervous and she kinds laughs and says "yeah, I guess I am kinda old" so he starts pointing to his face and his little face scrunches up and he says "cause I saw this stuff on t.v., it gets ridda wrinkles, I think you should get some". :eek:

Another time, it was around Christmas and the movie Toy Story was his favorite. These 2 elderly ladies come up to us and say "What do you want for Christmas?" He motions with his arms kinda like you do with a big fish and says "I want a really really big woody" You knew what they were thinking when they looked at me. (For those of you with dirty minds... Woody was the main character in Toy Story:p )

OH man I have a really embarrasing one. At my work we have recently moved into a new modular building which is huge and full of cubicles. Anyways there is a really wierd girl that I used to work with, she left about 2 months ago. She was just kind of "off", always talking about weird stuff, looked very strange, and had no concept of a personal bubble of space...she would get really close to you when she was talking to you. One day all the guys in my cubicle were laughing about her and then someone mentioned me in a joking kind of way, and I said something to the effect of "well at least I'm not going around putting my boobs all over people like Joy does!"

Everyone laughed for like 2 seconds and then everything goes DEAD quiet....I look over and notice that her boyfriend (now husband) had come in just in time to hear my little comment! To make matters worse he is a Marine in my company, and he outranks me....
That'll teach ya to talk about people behind their backs I guess....I was SOOOOO embarrassed, I couldn't even look the poor guy in the eye.

Not to mention that he had already gotten a lot of crap for going out with this girl because she was kinda gross, but he was really weird as well so I guess they were a good match.

LOL that is really cute...my little brother used to LOVE to tell people about his trucks...which he pronounced with an F instead of a T! That didn't go over very well with the old people either...

hee hee Hey Megan how come you didn't tell the Matthew Broderick story? Now THAT is an embarassing moment!

OH MY GODD .... :p

mine happened today in 3 period ;; Algebra .

in english, second period, my friend told me and my other friend that she just got contacts. so we started talking about her eye doctor. so my other friend asks 'whats the real term for 'eye doctor'?' i usually make up my own words to try to sound smart (LOL), never really works though... :rolleyes: soo .. being my doofy self, i remembered that 'opt' usually has to do with eyes. so i try to make up my own sophisticated word, and i say 'optstatricion' recalling that i have heard that word before. they had noo idea what that word meant cause they havent heard it before. my friends always call me blond and dont really believe anything i say, so they wanted to see if i was right. they said 'hey, Kel,why dont you ask our teacher next period what it is?' and i said 'sure'.
so, were in a group in algebra, and i say to our MALE teacher 'Dr. Masse, whats the correct term for eye doctor?' he said a lot of 'opt' words, then i asked 'but what about an optstraticion?' he gave me this blank look, and gave me a dictionary. i was like ....okayyy???... swallow your pride and just tell me you dont know LOL! (he always jokes like that to us :p ) so i found nothing under my spelling, so i figured 'maybe its spelled with a b'
ITS A GYNECOLOGIST FOR PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!
omgg !!!! i showed my friends the definition, and they will never, i repeat NEVER, let me live that down. my teacher laughed and i was HUMILIATED ! ;)