To God - From The Dog:
 

My friend snet these to me and I thought they were cute! and Oh so true!


TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still
the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are t here mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember - to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and wash my butt when
we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

I have tears running down my face because I am trying to stifle my laughing as the kids are in bed! TOOO FUNNY!!

OMG!! That was wonderful! It's going on the fridge! :D

Very Funny!
 

Oh thanks for that one...what a great start to anyday! Thanks again!

That's hysterical!! I have "non-pet" friends who send me poems/jokes about pets!! I believe they are "closet" pet lovers ... just won't take the leap! :)

I loved it!!
 

Thanks so much for posting -- it's wonderful!!!

:D

Happy Friday!

That is so cute.

:lol tears Yah!......I thought they were a hoot too!!! Glad you enjoyed the list.............feel free to add some more of your cute pet poems, lists jokes etc.

:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

Ahahahaha...i loved it!! I am sure the last questions will be one of Mojo's first things to ask God....hehehehehehe

Im very surprised a leg or arm hunch wasnt in this list!!!!!...........Hee hee

Lets add shall we!

Dear GOD.......I will not hunch arms, legs, necks.etc of my owenrs or company anymore!

Dear GOD....I promise not to poop in Jillian and Lukes play castle anymore when moms isnt looking!!...........Ugh!..........ture story!.......has happened twice..... :D