My yorkie won't cuddle..
 

I feel as though my yorkie doesn't trust me because she very rarely cuddles with me. The only time she will ever "cuddle" is when it's early in the morning and cold. But any other time she will sit on the opposite side of the room. She never seems to be happy to see me other than a quick 30 second burst of energy when I come home. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know some dogs are laid back and maybe it's just her personality but it makes me very sad that she won't cuddle with me or show much affection towards me. Is there any way I can get her to cuddle? I've tried rewarding her when she does cuddle but it never works. She always pushes away from me when I hold her or bring her over near me to sit next to me. I've been around her since, well, before she was even born so I would think there should be a stronger bond. She is 2 years old as of yesterday. I don't know, I just feel so untrusted by her.

:(:(:(:(

How old is she and how long have you had her. If you just got her give her time i also think if they are not held a lot at the breeders they are independant but she may come around. My boo was like that some but his cuddling has to be on his time.

She is 2 years as of yesterday. I was around her mother before my pup was born and then I visited my pup every Sunday, holding her the entire time, until I was able to bring her home.

I refrained from picking up Piper, just patted her adorable little head and then let her move away, or I did...I think when she realized she had some say in the matter (if you will), she became much more assertive in seeking attention and snuggles. And now I can grab her, cover her with smooches or position her any which way as long as she can enjoy endless tummy rubs. It seems space and allowing her to make decisions helped my girl...

:( That must be so upsetting - and frustrating - for you.

We give our all to the little ones - keeping them loved and fed and totally looked after - and yet you're feeling this way - I'm sorry.

I realise it sounds a little bit harsh and cruel - but I wonder if you should try a bit of 'reverse psychology'? A little bit of ignoring her - a little bit of coolness - make her think she wants to come to you, instead of you wanting that?

I know that if I MAKE Harry do anything, then he'll struggle. But he'll do anything in the world for my husband Andy - but Andy never asks anything of him - they just bash along together (as men do!!!).

How is she with other members of your family? My heart really goes out to you....Sally + Harry :aimeeyork xx

Ziva was really too busy for cuddling as a puppy. She was almost 2 when I got very sick with the flu and stayed on the couch during the day. Ziva parked herself next to me and hardly moved all day- she has been my pal ever since- but only when I am still and settled in for awhile (tv show, nap, reading)

Wow, from my experiences with Bella, I was thinking that Yorkies were natural born cuddlers. Bella would spend hours under my blanket curled up against my chest if I let her. And she's always begging for attention. I didn't do anything special to make her this way--she came that way. We did get her from the breeder at 8 weeks of age, which is legal in Illinois, but not recommended (12 weeks is preferred). Maybe she thinks I'm her mother? I guess each dog is different.

Thanks for all the kind words and understanding.. :)

I've tried to let her do her own thing and "ignore" her. In fact, that's what I do just about 99% of the time because I never want to force her into anything she doesn't want to do. But it hasn't worked, she's still stubborn. I'm just at a loss on what to do. I obviously love her to pieces either way but I would just love it if she would be closer with me. It's weird, too, she doesn't like belly rubs. I mean, she doesn't mind them for about 5 seconds but she never rolls over and asks for them. I'm just concerned that she doesn't trust me enough and she is feeling alone and therefore feels the need to "fend for herself". :\

Does she like to play? When I brought Dutch home, she was standoffish. Then I started getting on the floor and just playing with her. We would play tag, hide and seek, football or tug of war, teaching her new commands and of course plenty of walks. I think doing all of those things help to build a bond. Now she seeks me out for cuddles and she even gets under the covers now.

I'd begin by training her to do small things and then really praise her and instantly treat her - allowing her to learn that working with you forms a fast bond as you two work together to achieve something that teaches her to feel good about herself for doing something you've taught her. Dogs get so excited when they learn they can connect to us through simple working at obedience training. If you amp her up for training and keep the sessions short, fun and really rewarding for her, she'll adore working with you and likely will soon always be touching you or lying on you, wanting to be always near her soulmate. Use warm, boiled chicken for her treats and a high, squeaky voice when you first start out and she'll delight in her training.

She does like to play but when I first brought her home she was very scared. Wouldn't play and just wanted to hide. She has obviously gotten much better at playing. I try to be active with her every chance I get but maybe it needs to be more often. She is still on a 5AM schedule from the breeder (yes, 2 years later lol) and wants to start her day at 5AM.

I will try with the training, that sounds like it would be beneficial for her and I can see how that would help.

My Amy isn't into cuddling when I want to hold her but on her terms. When she wants me to pick her up and hold her or cradle her like a baby then she will come and put her paws on my knees. Some times she will give a little bark also. I wait for those moments.

Everything you said is exactly how my yorkie, Tink acts (she will be 11 next month) She has never been a cuddler (except when cold...). She has never liked being held/picked up. If I would pick her up from where she is to try and cuddle, she would return to her original spot. She chooses what she wants, and will come lay next to me when she wants.We have always kidded around she us more cat than dog.
However, she always follows me, and is in the same room as me. And I have no doubts that she doesn't love me - I have just accepted that she isn't a cuddler
Maybe it will just take some time, especially since she was so timid when you got her. For what it's worth, my other dog (non yorkie) did not trust either of us when we got her. She was a rescue and was very very untrusting. I took her to a very experienced trainer (who actually trains police dogs) and the difference was HUGE. She went from being completely distant to wanting to be around us all the time. its very obvious you love your little girl, maybe it will just take some time. Best of luck!

Sounds like you have an independent little girl. So do I. She will sit and snuggle with me only if I am sitting in the chair "she" wants to sit in. Otherwise she will curl up somewhere else. I heard somewhere that female puppies love their human, and male puppies are "in love" with their human. Ever thought of a male?

So I make sure I play with her, pick her up and squeeze and love her up cuz, I need it. Then she wants outside to play with the cats.

It sounds like you have an independent girl. I do too!

My ZoE only cuddles on her terms. She will come and lay next to me if I sit on the sofa for a while, but if I try to pick her up, she'll move away. She will hardly ever actually cuddle on my lap. It's a rare time when she does and I treasure it!

She could just be distrustful of humans and needs working with to bring her out of her shell. Each dog is different in how they accept and interact with humans from birth, some very, very diffident and shy of humans all the way to those who know no bounds and insist on constant contact/interaction. Often we can get off onto the wrong foot with a shy or anxious dog and thereafter, the problem just escalates until the dog is actually a bit uncomfortable around us, never sure what we might do to them so they keep their distance in an effort to protect themselves.

Start her training by letting her skip breakfast by a couple of hours the first few days so that she's more hungry than usual. Boil the chicken, let her watch you preparing it, smell it cooking, cooling it and then make a little pile of chicken bits that you put in your treat pouch and sit down on the floor, telling her it's "training time" and show her how to sit, using a very light, happy, non-militant-sounding voice as you give the "sit" command and reward her with a big smile and an instant bit of chicken and a high pitched "Goooooood girl" when she does it right, maybe even a tickle on her shoulder, chest or flank. Just ignore when she misses it, pause a bit and then give the happy "sit" command again while gently nudging her into a sitting position and the moment her bottom touches the floor, stick that bit of chicken into her little mouth and make a that big smile, praise her generously and tickle/pet her if she likes that at this point. Repeat only about 10 - 15 times each session and end each with a good romp outside to let her relieve any tension and pee, with a fun play session when she gets back in the house.

I'd repeat her training session of 10 - 15 repetitions 3 x daily each day, using the warm, boiled chicken to lure her into wanting to come near you and participate in working with you. It won't take her long to discover you are fun, trustworthy, smile a lot and quickly feed her luscious chicken the moment she properly does what you ask. She'll begin to feel good about the lessons and look forward to them as she begins to do the sits on her own, learns that she's accomplishing something you like and that makes you happy and also gets herself an instant food treat - equaling in her brain rewards and lots of good feelings going on between the two of you at these times of achievement and fun. She'll grow more self-confident, proud of herself. The reward centers in her brain will yearn for more - and the road to her getting more of all that is YOU. Suddenly, you become more valuable to her.

Keep working with her and adding a new trick once weekly or so to add some interest and variety but keep each trick repetition down to 10 - 15 times of each fun command and no training session lasting over 3 -5 minutes as dogs can get bored quickly early on in training and feel stressed if we press them beyond their interest level. But training 3 times a day will keep her on track and keep fulfilling her desires for more instant gratification.

As dogs are basically social animals who are genetically programmed by nature for pleasing social interactions within their pack in order to interact together to play, work, breed and survive, so her natural abilities to want more and more deeper interactions with you will kick in and gear up as you work and play more and more with her. In time, she will begin to ask you for a training session!!! She'll begin to come to you, nudge your hand for a pat or lie down touching your hip or leg, showing you she's now more trusting and wanting your quiet, down-time society. You are on your way with her once that happens and cuddling isn't far off.

You know what else might work? Maybe if you take her start taking her places like hardware stores, pet stores, the park...She might turn to you for comfort and security as you'll be the only person she knows in otherwise unfamiliar territory. Just an idea.

Unless she's very fearful and anxious, it could help her learn to trust you during times of uncertainty, stress, strange scents and many strange creatures moving all around her, teaching her you are her dependable, protective rock and valuable to her security, raising your value to her. If she hates it and becomes scared and very anxious, fearful, she could attach that reaction to your actually causing the scary situation, in her mind. But if that happens, you can just immediately leave and hold off that for a while until she's more dependent, trusting of you B4 trying it again and then, once she really values you, she'll probably see the trips as a reward you provided her.

OOOoooooo...great information for all of us. As much as I love my furbaby, I do take her for granted. I'm gonna go play with her right now! Thanks!

Lots of great advice here

Boy I'm glad I came upon this thread! My new little Izzy is 14 weeks and quite like that too! I wonder if she wasn't grabbed at a lot before we got her. That's the way she acts, just runs away from you.
I try bribing till she jumps on my lap. But still does not trust to be petted or massaged. We have our grooming sessions I get that done in am. And it's treats treats treats....then the training sessions in afternoon...
I lay on floor on my tummy and she likes to jump on my back and lick my face that way. .....but is not a cuddle bug like her sister.
Doesn't like car rides , or stores , or a lot of people in the house. I have TV on a lot too and talk to her a lot , train with chicken, high voice praise she responds well ....just is a little touch me not.
Does your have a little cave bed to feel safe in? They are nice...
Izzys not only independent but SASSY. She talks back when I say no, little cutie.
Precious babies aren't they?

That's interesting! Does that go for short 15 minute car trips too?
Izzy is so anxious she releases her scent glands, and ohh myyyy. Then wants to travel behind my neck...( I'm not driving) I have a car seat ordered.but I can't see her in that by herself....she hides in her sling against my body in stores and visiting. Do you think I ought to keep taking her? Or wait till she matures....I socialized Zoey young and she did adjusted well...not so with Izzy.

Her behavior shows she's very anxious in the car. I'd work on slowly desensitizing her to it by just walking her around it in the drive with the doors open for a couple of days. Then, urge her to jump inside to get some warm, boiled chicken you are holding while sitting in the seat and give it to her and then have her immediately follow you right on through the car out the opposite door. Use a leash if you must, being infinitely patient and give her time, but eventually coax her using gentle pulls on the leash, if necessary, up into that car and immediately out again, using treats inside if she will take them but if not, once she's jumped back out. The thing is, you want to get the idea the car is a brief experience and one that she repeats with you over and over and over(not more than 5 times a session at first) until she's quite ready to jump up, in and out for her treat and praise.

Once she jumping in and out on her own, hold her inside the car for 15 - 30 seconds, not soothing her if she shakes or looks about fearfully - rather letting her experience that the car really isn't that scary and besides, she'll learn that she needn't be in there but a few moments and then let her follow you out the other side for her treats and praise. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 5 times per session or so, up to 2 - 4 times daily, treating/praising her for controlling her impulse to shake or run, while she stays there in the seat for longer and longer periods as she grows used to the smells and feelings in the scary car. Eventually, she needs to be able to lie down and wait in the seat - with all doors wide open so she doesn't feel trapped. Before too long, she will learn that the car really isn't scary - it's a positive experience for her as she gets lots of positive reinforcement when she's finished each desensitization/training episode.

Now, move on once she's accepted the former steps. Close the doors when she's inside, wait and then both of you quickly exit, treat/praise and gradually increase her time in the car with the doors shut, allowing her to realize that nothing bad is happening to her in there, as she's learned the car isn't all that scary and besides, she'll have come to learn the whole experience is over very quickly and then she's treated and praised. Repeat frequently but not more than 5 times per session on any of these steps.

When she will lie quietly in the seat with the doors closed, one day start the car and instantly turn it back off and both of you get out, treat, praise, gradually working up to letting her feel the car run there in the driveway with the doors closed and finding nothing bad is happening to her. If she begins to act fearful or anxious, back up a bit and focus on the earlier step until she's accepting and ready to move on again.

Eventually, back the car out of the drive and right back in and get her out immediately, treat/praise. Repeat over and over until she's comfortable with that and then back out, drive half a block and return, get her out, treat/praise and repeat a couple of time or more a day until she's fine with it. Eventually, drive her around the block and then home, both of you right out of that car and she's treated and praised. In time, drive twice around the block and slowly work up until she's comfortable in the car for up to a half hour or more, as long as she remains non-fearful and confident.

If you go slowly and gradually introduce her to each step of experiencing being in the car with nothing bad happening to her or else go back a step until she's comfortable, she will eventually grow to accept that the car is not all that scary, is amazingly brief at first, and nothing bad happens and in fact, being in and around it gets her treats, praise and a happy, proud mommy. She'll grow more self-confident with time and repetitions and come to accept car rides as a fact of life and eventually may learn to absolutely love going in the car.

Wow
 

Ok....I got cha.....
She is still harness and leash training ....it will be a slow process...in the meantime I do have her crate to travel to vets ...
Thank you so much for taking the time to explain all that..your a gem!
You are a true dog lover.....

hehe - it's not really as onerous as it sounds, and at times great strides are made and you can cut a couple of corners and it works wonders on dogs who are becoming or have long been fearful of cars or who tend to vomit from anxiety in the car during rides.

I see...
Right now my garage reeks from my last drive Thru the country passing by a pig farm who decided to clean out all over the road....plus it's freezing ...waaaaa!:(

Thanks for all the great advice!

I will try the training with my "independent" little girl :D:D That is the perfect word to describe her lol

hmmmmmm. I wonder if we put our human emotions on dogs and think they don't trust when actually they are just less needy than other dogs?

I have had 2 yorkies and been around many others and it seems like the more "cuddly" they are the more anxious they are in new situations. They seem to bark more too? ugh

My friend has a 13 year old who is tiny and adorable and never liked to cuddle. She loves her purse and my friend has always been able to take her everywhere with her. She just settles down alone in her purse and you never know she is there. Her other dog, the more social, "loving" one, couldn't go anywhere. She always wanted to be out seeing what was going on and barking for attention or control.

I love having a cuddly dog but I would give up a little cuddle to have a less needy dog. I really can't take my dog anywhere without major problems. I still try and yes, I have socialized her since she was 12 weeks old. She is only 13 months old and wants to kill everyone that moves towards me. It's a real problem.

Is your dog a barker? What happens when you take her places?

To get her to sit in your lap find a long lasting chew that she can only have while you hold it. Bully stick, greenie whatever. Good luck. I will trade dogs with you if you want. :eek: kidding.

How's it going?

I'm finding big sister helps too. Zoey will want in my lap and baby Izzy follows. Then they both get held and massaged... Zoey kisses me and Izzy kisses me ....now they both kiss on command...

I also have an "Izzy bed" of blankets right beside my recliner . I lure her in with tiny squeaky toys then sneak my hand down and pet and talk to her while she's distracted...