Breaking bond to better socialize new puppy Hello everyone! As I posted before my Yorkie puppy will only let me touch him, we have had him for two weeks, he is 19 weeks old. I have contacted a dog trainer to see what more I can do to better socialize Bentley. She told me that I have to break the connection he has to me by making sure that I don't feed him, take him outside, play with him etc. only making sure by husband and son do it all. That's very difficult as they leave at 6am and are not back until 6Pm most days. Has anyone else had a similar experience and if so is this what you had to do? |
I disagree with the trainer, especially if you are the only one at home for 12 hours a day. Bentley needs food during that time, potty breaks (cleaning up the pad or outdoors) and attention. As I wrote on your other thread, it might be helpful for you to leave the room and allow Bentley to be alone with your husband and son (when they are home). Teddy doesn't like visitors to our home, but he behaves differently if I leave the room. |
I agree and I told her it would not work as completely as she wanted due to the circumstances, I am going to go to another room after dinner till bed time and leave Bentley with my husband and see how that works out. I know there will be some whining but hopefully not for long. Thanks for you input it seemed a little extreme to me as well since he is very new to our home. |
I agree with Kristin. I am home and my DBF works. I could not leave him alone like that. It is wrong. He gets up in the morning and greets Galen first. Pets him and plays with him for a few mins. He feeds him in the morning. It is funny when he comes Home Galen barks until he goes into the kitchen to see him. He basically has to greet him before me lol |
I don't agree with the trainer at all. Why would they want want to break the bond with your dog???? If there is anyone else in your home I would have them become more involved with care and play. I do everything for Rasta but he does allow my son and hubby to pet and play with him. If you've only had him for two weeks maybe he's still adjusting. |
When Zoey was young I would ask anyone that came to visit if they would hold her. I wanted to make sure she liked people and this seemed to work for us. Even if a friend was picking me up I would take Zoey out to their car and have them hold and pet her. She adores people. At the dog park she goes and greets all the dogs and then finds a lap to sit on. |
It's so,hard to know what to do, I do agree with her to a point that Bentley is extremely bonded to me and only me and needs to be left alone with my husband and son etc. She told me not to force the petting and holding, I had thought of picking Bentley up and giving him to my husband randomly to hold and pet but she said not to do that until he comes over on his own and let's my husband pick him up, pet him etc. Any other views on "giving him to people to hold and pet" yes or no? |
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The downside to this is that not everyone knows how to hold a puppy safely, especially a nervous puppy. Accidents can happen. You can socialize without forcing holding. Simply taking your pup places and walking in busy areas around people is helpful. New experiences, always making them positive, helps build confidence. My boys are equally bonded with me and my father, who lives with us. I believe this is because I leave them with my father a lot. Usually I am only upstairs in my office, not out of the house. My dogs have developed little routines and things they do only do with dad. As discussed earlier, feeding meals and taking care of basic necessities helps create a bond. Forcing holding/cuddling will probably have the opposite effect. It's one thing to lift the pup to a counter for grooming for instance (always keep a hand on the pup to prevent jumping), but pups may be resistant to holding even by the ones they are bonded with most. We encouraged affection by letting the dogs come to us on their terms, and letting them know they are free to go whenever they want. They now use it to butter us up for meals, walks, and play time. |
Well, the last couple of nights my husband has fed Bentley and stayed with him watching tv while I went into another room. Bentley proceed to run from door to door whining and looking for me but in the midst of this he did jump into my husbands lap twice and let him pet him a little while in his lap, it's a start! My mother has also stayed with him for an hour or so a couple of times while I went out, same outcome whining and looking for me but then he settled down and layed by her feet. I will keep on doing this and hopefully eventually he will calm down when I leave. He's good in his cage at night and when I leave to run errands he can't come on. I have been taking him everywhere with me that allows dogs and I am taking him to little dog daycare today to see how he reacts to an hour there, haven't decided if I will leave him there yet have to check the place out first. It's come highly recommended. Thanks for your input, it's nice to hear other opinions, I'm just scared to do the wrong thing and make things worse but it seems that I have to plan time away to help him better bond with my husband. |
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Also, be aware that these little ones are very sensitive to our feelings -- they can read us like a book. You have to hide your worry and anxiety very well. In fact, get rid of it. Be confident and optimistic that everything is going to turn out perfectly. This will help Bentley feel more secure about your husband and other people in his life. |
Good advise, thanks! Off to puppy daycare :) |
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Yes, he will play tug with my husband if he initiates it but won't bring it back to him yet! We just got back from small dog daycare and I left him for about 45 min. snuck back in and he was having a great time playing with the other dogs, and the trainer told me she even picked him up twice and he seemed okay, all very encouraging news. I will try and figure out how this picture thing works and try and post a pic of Bentley. Thanks again for everyones help :) |
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