Ticked (no pun intended) off...Venting... So yesterday after work, my 'friend' comes up to me and tells me that her 1 year old Beagle is "howling in pain" and is having some sort of allergic reaction (itching like crazy) to the flea and tick medication they put on her. Earlier in the day she had told me that it was Sergeant's that they used because it was one of the cheaper brands. Now, when my fiance and I put Buster on a flea and tick preventative I did A LOT of research online before picking one. I eventually picked Advantix II because it had good (if not the best) reviews. The DF wasn't too thrilled with the price but I b*tched until he caved and we charged it to our credit card because I'm NOT taking risks with my baby. While researching for Busters flea and tick stuff I read HORROR stories about Hartz and Sergeant's. Cats and dogs.. having terrible reactions, chemical burns, getting sick and some even DYING. I'm sure it doesn't affect all dogs/cats but its still scary :( .. So needless to say when my friend told me how her dog was acting after telling me they used Sergeant's my first reaction was "She could die!" I told her that I read a lot of stories online about dogs getting pretty sick and/or dying from some flea and tick meds and it might be best to get her to a vet if she is acting like that. Well, I could tell I upset her and she left... so I send her a text saying that i was sorry, I wasn't trying to be mean or scare her it's just that reaction doesn't sound "normal" and that stuff can seriosly harm animals. I also said that one option is to bath her with Dawn dish soap. Well she comes back at me attacking me saying I said the wrong thing and she doesn't need to hear that and she doesn't have money like I do to run to the vet like I would, saying that sometimes I sound stuck up and I have an answer for everything... She then proceeds to tell me that her dog has reacted this way before... WELL EXCUSE ME... sorry I didn't know your dog has had that kind of reaction before and sorry I was more concerned about your dogs life than I was about your feelings... I was just trying to be honest with her and sometimes being honest means telling someone something they don't wanna hear... And how dare she take a dig at me financially like that... my DF and I both work full-time AND go to school... times are tough and like a lot of other people we are barely making it.. hence why we put Buster's Advantix II on a credit card... I KNOW this girl has a credit card she could have done the same thing we did.... I don't care how much money I have if something is wrong with my dog he's going to the vet.. idc if i have to open up a credit card just for him or beg family or sell things.. he's being taken care of! He's my baby and he depends on me and I'm not going to let him down because of my financial situation.. i mean geez I'll buy food for him before I buy food for myself! I dunno I am just really upset by the whole thing.. I ended up ending the fight and simply saying "Sometimes I think the worst of a situation, I didn't know she acted like that before and thats why I tried to apologize" Which she then replied "I understand." and we havent said more that 2 words to eachother since... If someone actually reads all of this then God bless you! lol ... like I said this upset me and i really needed to vent and wasn't she where else to go... I mean was I wrong??? Was her response right?? I just don't know... Thanks again for lisrening everyone... |
You had the dogs welfare in your best interests when you told her. She is reacting defensively because she knows you are right but shes not going to admit it. It is obvious she doesnt put a priority on her dogs well being and maybe she also sees that you do and feels defensive because of that. The bottom line is though that those type of flea preventives and shampoos have caused problems and deaths with some animals and you were relaying what you knew to her. It is her problem not yours. stick around here long enough and you will see the same defensive actions coming from some posters on here when you tell them something they dont want to hear because they dont want to do anything about it |
The only thing you did wrong was try to apologize. Dog was/is suffering. The ONLY right answer is to go to the vet. If they can't afford it, they need to rehome. If they don't want to rehome and the animal is suffering, then they need to euthanize. I'm sure I irritate friends and family too with my insistence that they get veterinary care for their animals, but when something is really wrong, guess who they call first... If an animal is suffering, that is more important to me than hurting some feeling. Of course I always try to be kind (and you were), but that doesn't change my message to them - go to the vet. |
Life is too short to surround ourselves with negative people. You did what you thought was the right thing. If your "friend" has issues, perhaps new friends are in order. |
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You did the right thing. My question is what the H**L was she doing at work while her dog was at home "howling in pain"???? Poor baby. I hope she took care of him. |
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She got so defensive because she knew you were RIGHT. What really ticks me off about this is that the dog had this reaction before and she STILL put that crap on it again:confused: I feel sorry for her dog. I guess some people just get all resentful if they feel someone else is doing better than they are, even if it's not so. Immaturity and a poor attitude make for lousy friends:( |
Thanks Everyone... All of your responses make a lot of sense.. and I needed to see them. I was seriously contemplating if I was a bad person or not... something she also said "you dont have to be so cold to everything" because my first response was "She can die" made me wonder if I was like cold hearted or something?!? I think she makes things sound worse then they are... drama. Maybe I was too forward or too blunt (shes an overly sensative person) but i think the things she came back at me with, after I tried apologizing, were out of line... maybe i need to re-evaluate this friendship... |
yup...I agree....She got angry because she knew you were right... And I suppose if she didnt want you opinion...she shouldnt have asked for it!!! |
Apparently she doesn't realize she has/had a good friend. If you didn't care about her..or more so her dog then you could of shrugged it off. I would not get offended if someone was just trying to help. I would thank them. And I agree with previous poster...YOU had nothing to apologize for. Hugs..hope your day gets better :) |
Well I figure when he had the reaction before that she probably didn't take him to the vet either and whether he had that reaction before or not its not normal and if someone cannot afford vet care they should not have a dog. I am so tired of people not taking care of there dogs and taking them to the vet when they need to go. I don't think you were wrong at all. |
You had the dog's welfare in mind, which she should have and I think you have nothing to be sorry about. You told her the truth. I think some people just don't want to admit they are wrong or don't want to be told what to do. She should appreciate your concern and appreciate you as a friend. Maybe she will listen before its too late for that poor little baby. |
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As far as money goes, everyone is feeling the crunch. You have to have priorities, which you do. When Sammy was alive I had a Visa card just for him in case anything came up. Thankfully, I only had to use it once. Your friend reacted the way she did because she couldn't admit that you were right. |
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Sorry to hear about the pup having such a terible reaction and hope he's going to be ok and sorry things didn't go terribly smoothly with your friend. |
I would have reacted the same way you did. If the dog was in pain she should have been at a vets office telling the vet what was going on, not you. Some people just dont get it |
People can be SO stupid. It's really sad. I just wish everyone felt the way about their animals as we/I do. It's amazing sometimes to me to see what an owner will let an animal go through without second thought. I am sorry you had to experience that! I always try my best to stay somewhere middle ground. Because I don't wanna come across as a psycho dog lady straight away but at the same time, I want to help the animal in need, and some owners seriously just don't know when it's right/wrong to take a pet to the vet. Or even when it comes to smaller things, I always try to throw in tips and advice very nonchaulantly but still get my word in there, ya know? |
Some People ASK FOR ADVICE then gets MAD !It is fine to come on YT and vent. I do it, all the time. I have lost a few 'friends' because they ask advice, then get angry when I tell them my thoughts. I try to be kind and use diplomacy, but honest too. I think about 90% of the time, when a Yorkie is out of control, snapping, marking, barking it can be fixed if the owner takes responsibility and will work to change things. If I have any doubt that my advice could harm the dog, I tell them to ask their Vet. Sometimes they just want a me to say everything will be ok. Things can go wrong very quickly with small dogs. I am not a Vet. If I have any doubt about a health question, I say Go to the Vet. You did the right thing. Let it go. No reason to say you are sorry. |
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**I use Frontline Plus Costco sells it I can buy the Extra large and break it up by weight for my dogs it lasts almost 9 months for all three of my small dogs...that's about $50 a year for 3 dogs!** There's also 1-800-pet meds and besides if she can only afford $#!% store junk then WTH is she going to be like during an emergency-does her dog even do yearly exams? I'm guessing she just can't afford a dog and I don't even wanna go to gee I wonder about the food she feeds her dog! I'll be totally honest here I'm in the worst financial situation I've ever been in in my life! Staying home with baby etc-we're okay though- but really this is literally the worse my finances have ever been I've cut out so much but the care my dogs and my children receive will never suffer-it so urks me that I don't even get my hair done in the salon anymore and so much more just so they can continue to have the best and other's can well afford it but are so shallow and cheap! |
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