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Wylie's Mom 09-02-2011 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirlc (Post 3654043)
Wow Wylies mom is back, how ya doin lady, I read about your mishap so glad you're back. I always love reading your post. I have gotten some great feedback and support in the case of my situation, and I am sensible enough to take the bitter with the sweet and use that information that I choose to. I have also gotten the support of my yorkie facebook group who has suggested some of the same things. In the end I beleive everything happens for a reason, and this is probally the push I needed to face the fact that all along I thought I was pack leader not realizing that gizmo beleives himself to be the leader as well, and that just cannot be. And instead of always treating my baby as if he were human facing the fact that I can still spoil him but I must exibit leadership to and for him.

I will make this work, I know I can do it, just may take some time.


Cynthia
:wavey:

Hey Cynthia!

So great to 'see' you :). If it makes ya feel any better, I am completely *not* the pack leader :rolleyes:. Ooopsie. I let my naughties walk all over me. I know I shouldn't....but but but...so hard! No different really than letting skin kids walk all over us (not that I have any).

You can totally make this work - I too know you can do it...but what really counts is that *you* know it :).

Hope all is well w/ you!

lsj 09-02-2011 07:20 PM

I agree with Lovetodream 88. Whether its a small or large animal; hitting them will solve nothing and only make matters worse!!!

MamaZiggy 09-03-2011 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirlc (Post 3652810)
Wow, I was going out my front door because the 2 german shepherd puppies I have gated off on my deck porch escaped, Gizmo did what he always does whebn I go to the door...follows along barking to go out as well. never let him out when working with the shepherds because he does not get along with them. And this little monster took a bite at the back of my leg in the crease behind the kneecap, it was bleeding so bad it ran down my leg.

It starttled me and hurt very bad and before I knew it I back handed him scooped him up and threw him on my bed, which is too high for him to get down. I then ran outside to catch the puppies and secure them.

I am angry and hurt all at the same time, for one I hit my baby and that is something I just do not do at the same time e needas to know what he did to me is bad bad bad and not allowed.

I know he knows what he did because when I came back in the house, he had that low head looking down which of course makes me melt and I pick him up and we cuddle. Just cannot stay mad at him but do not want this to happen ever again.

Just needed to vent, I know now that when I am dealing with the shepherds and going at the door, Gizmo has to be placed out of reach.

Don't need stiches or anything I just leaned it with poroxide and neosporian and put a couple of bandaids on it.

Thanks for listening


Cynthia:sad:

oh dear, im so sorry that happened. im sure you must have felt horrible.. both of you!

i havent read all the replies, but what i can say is that mistakes happen to the best of mommies.. and it seems you've learnt from this and are making steps to move forward positively..

good luck, hope you can find a trainer to help in this situation so you can both have a peaceful home

cowgirlc 09-03-2011 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaZiggy (Post 3654211)
oh dear, im so sorry that happened. im sure you must have felt horrible.. both of you!

i havent read all the replies, but what i can say is that mistakes happen to the best of mommies.. and it seems you've learnt from this and are making steps to move forward positively..

good luck, hope you can find a trainer to help in this situation so you can both have a peaceful home

Thank you so much, Gimo and I are working together to establish who is pack leader....lol.... I love my baby to death, I've finally forgiven myself and I know he lives in the moment so lets hope my actions did not scar him as we move forward to find the balance we need. I am bound and determined to find the funds to hire a trainer and work with gizmo on several fronts...wish me luck!

Cynthia
:)

MamaZiggy 09-03-2011 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirlc (Post 3654264)
Thank you so much, Gimo and I are working together to establish who is pack leader....lol.... I love my baby to death, I've finally forgiven myself and I know he lives in the moment so lets hope my actions did not scar him as we move forward to find the balance we need. I am bound and determined to find the funds to hire a trainer and work with gizmo on several fronts...wish me luck!

Cynthia:)

i know right.. im still trying to establish myself as packleader in my home too, lol

best of luck doll!

yorkieusa 09-03-2011 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirlc (Post 3654264)
Thank you so much, Gimo and I are working together to establish who is pack leader....lol.... I love my baby to death, I've finally forgiven myself and I know he lives in the moment so lets hope my actions did not scar him as we move forward to find the balance we need. I am bound and determined to find the funds to hire a trainer and work with gizmo on several fronts...wish me luck!

Cynthia
:)

I don't agree with what you've said. I DO believe that one hit WILL scar them forever and make them fearful whenever anyone starts to reach toward them. I've seen people who have struck their dogs before interact with their dogs and noticed that they "duck" when they see their owner's hand coming down toward them. I hope you do get things worked out, because I realize it was more of a reflex action on your part, but I believe you have self-control issues as well and that isn't a good mixture with a small dog or any other size dog.

Ringo1 09-03-2011 07:17 AM

Well, I'm going to admit that I didn't read every response ~ so you might have already been given this advice.

I will chime in that I don't think hitting is evey ok.

There's a training program called Nothing in Life for Free. It's a very gentle way of establishing control in your home. I always think it's a good place to start with a problem pup.

Nothing in Life is Free

caribear 09-03-2011 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teresamag (Post 3653464)
I'm really sorry you had this happen - I know it's horrible to feel like you did something wrong in the heat of the moment -something you would normally not do. It took a lot of courage to tell us about it - I'm sorry you are getting some "heat" for doing it - you already know it's not right & you feel bad about doing it. Most importantly of all now is that it happened, Gizmo will be ok, you will be ok (as long as you take care of the wound) and you are looking for ways to remedy the situation. IMO alot of small dogs don't have the "leadership" they need - this leads to confusion and insecurity in the dog because they think they have to be "pack leader" since you are not doing it. Especially with new dogs in the house - Gizmo may think he has to be the boss - since you were being verbal and upset about the shepard puppies being out Gizmo may have been trying to "take care" of the situation on his own. He may not have done it appropriately but it really isn't his job. You have gotten some really good suggestions here, having him on a leash is a great idea, a trainer is also a good suggestion, making sure he is neutered is a must (I don't know if he is or not). If you are not able to hire a trainer or until a trainer can come I would suggest you implement the NIFIF (Nothing In Life is Free) concept to help Gizmo realize that YOU are qualified and are his pack leader. Here is an article I wrote about NIFIF - Good Luck
Teresa

That's very frustrating isn't it? You are right to be concerned and to look at fixing this before it gets worse. One thing I always ask right away - is your boy neutered? Sometimes hormones can make a dominate dog worse and dogs sometimes think they can challenge the "pack leader" or try to assume the position themselves. If he isn't neutered I would suggest you check in with your vet about getting this done as well as making some changes in your home.

#1 if you are able enroll him in an obedience class and do either # 2 or #3.
#2 work with an animal behaviorist or
#3 Teach him that you are the "pack leader" and do the Nothing In Life Is Free (NILIF) program.

You can google this program and find sites that tell exactly how to implement the program but basically it means acting like a good "pack leader" so he will respect you. (Growling, biting, food or resource (you) guarding is a show of disrespect or trying to take over leadership). Some things you can do in this program is making your dog work for everything - food, attention, exercise, etc. I.E. he has to sit before you put his supper bowl down. Make sure you eat before feeding him (pack leaders always eat first and lower ranking animals eat after). Always make sure you are the one who allows him outside and you go out before him, he has to follow you. For the time being don't allow him to sleep with you or be higher than you on the couch. Allowing him to precede you out the door, be higher than you on the couch, sleeping in your bed, eating when you eat are all signs that he is equal to you or higher than you in the pack and just enforce his right to be disrespectful or to let him think he can take over.

A dog that knows his place in the pack is much happier and feels more secure. After all, it's your job as pack leader to provide food and keep the pack safe and he won't have to worry about it. :) If you have a spouse or children make sure they participate in the program as well. The dog should always be below them in pack ranking also, otherwise he will try to push the kids/spouse around too.

Good luck with your boy, you can PM me if you have any questions about this program. It works wonders with dogs.

Teresa

Yes, this is what i think too!! Definitely establish your pack, it does make a huge difference! Good luck!! :D

cowgirlc 09-03-2011 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yorkieusa (Post 3654368)
I don't agree with what you've said. I DO believe that one hit WILL scar them forever and make them fearful whenever anyone starts to reach toward them. I've seen people who have struck their dogs before interact with their dogs and noticed that they "duck" when they see their owner's hand coming down toward them. I hope you do get things worked out, because I realize it was more of a reflex action on your part, but I believe you have self-control issues as well and that isn't a good mixture with a small dog or any other size dog.

Hi there, I can understand your point here, I cannot un-do what has happened nor make light of it, and I had a startled reaction which does not mean I have self control issues. My baby does not ''duck' when I reach for him at all. Though this may be the case for some small dogs it is not the case here.

Not going to continue to beat a dead horse here, and everyone is entitled to their opinions and of course are welcome to coment, this will be the last post for me on the defensive, choosing to move forward and make things better for me and Gizmo

Thank you

Cynthia

cowgirlc 09-03-2011 07:52 AM

Good morning everyone, been researching for a few days now and I think I found a trainer that interest me. Gonna post the link so you guys can take a look and tell me what you think before making any decisions.

Still have to try to find a way to raise the funds to do this but I have faith and have prayed about it as well.

Thanks guys!


Cynthia


CalmDogTraining - Home

:thumbs_up:excited:

yorkietalkjilly 09-03-2011 05:25 PM

I have been around many dogs that were hit and some of them were scarred from it and most were not, depending upon the caregiver they were with. Many dogs are not affected by a hitting incident at all while others insecurities are fed by one incident for a time but they can be brought well past that by a good, unemotional trainer who doesn't feel sorry for them and just treats them with a good rehab behavior modification program that establishes the caregiver as the leader in the family.

But any dog with an insecure owner who takes out their anger on a dog will most likely be deeply affected by hitting because they can sense the caregiver's mental state of rage. Someone who hits out in a state of shock from a biting incident probably is only reflecting what another dog would who he'd just bitten - shock with returned brief aggression. He probably won't hold anything against you as dogs are used to discipline from other dogs and he will likely just look at it as a one-time thing that came from his bite and as you are not a repeat offender - he'll sense that, too. Just work with him to show him who calls the shots in all situations and he will go on his happy way while learning who is the real boss in the family. Best wishes to you.

cowgirlc 09-03-2011 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly (Post 3654761)
I have been around many dogs that were hit and some of them were scarred from it and most were not, depending upon the caregiver they were with. Many dogs are not affected by a hitting incident at all while others insecurities are fed by one incident for a time but they can be brought well past that by a good, unemotional trainer who doesn't feel sorry for them and just treats them with a good rehab behavior modification program that establishes the caregiver as the leader in the family.

But any dog with an insecure owner who takes out their anger on a dog will most likely be deeply affected by hitting because they can sense the caregiver's mental state of rage. Someone who hits out in a state of shock from a biting incident probably is only reflecting what another dog would who he'd just bitten - shock with returned brief aggression. He probably won't hold anything against you as dogs are used to discipline from other dogs and he will likely just look at it as a one-time thing that came from his bite and as you are not a repeat offender - he'll sense that, too. Just work with him to show him who calls the shots in all situations and he will go on his happy way while learning who is the real boss in the family. Best wishes to you.


Thank you so much I appreciate this, after 5 yrs of treating my baby like he is a skin baby I have to make some adjustments and its ok, I can do this gonna keep positive and make our home just as joyful as it has always been even with my new pack leader attitude.

Cynthia

yorkietalkjilly 09-03-2011 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirlc (Post 3654776)
Thank you so much I appreciate this, after 5 yrs of treating my baby like he is a skin baby I have to make some adjustments and its ok, I can do this gonna keep positive and make our home just as joyful as it has always been even with my new pack leader attitude.

Cynthia

You've got the right attitude and I'm sure while you feel so bad that you hit him, with your positive and relaxed, loving attitude as you train, he will react accordingly and see you as his family or pack leader. That's all dog's seem to really want, is to feel loved, secure, taken care of and led by their momma and/or daddy - just like a child wants. They seem to really thrive under the loving care of a strong leader who is never mean or negative but just always guides and rewards them for appropriate behavior with the occasional unemotional "uh oh" when they forget or stray and a positive reward when they get it right. They LOVE to please and show off how much they are learning so they do strive to do their best when the training is fun, challenging and kept short but frequent.

My Tibbe just LOVES to work and is constantly baiting me for training sessions so he can strut his stuff. In the process, he has learned to do what I say when he senses I am serious(he can tell when I'm not), so far has never failed to come when called, stop when told(even outside), eat with my hand in his bowl, allow me to remove chewies, toys or anything from his mouth at any time without rancor and trust me to always keep him happy and safe. And he was wild as a hair when I first got him - almost feral and fought and growled and screamed or hid behind things at every turn! He's a totally different dog than the 9 mo. old wild-child I brought home in 2008! There is almost always hope for any misbehaving dog. Best wishes to you both.

ChibiLuv 09-03-2011 07:04 PM

I just wanted to say to Cynthia that you are not alone. I love my baby boy yorkie more than anything in the world but one time I spanked him. I was SO frustrated with him (caught him eating cat food for the 100th time) and it was a moment of weakness on my part. I felt so bad afterwards and I know it was the wrong thing to do but I can't undo it, all I can do is try and learn from it and I think in the end it has made me a better pet parent. I think the people suggesting your not a fit pet parent are very wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, one momentary lack of self control doesn't make someone abusive or a bad person. Anyways just wanted to let you know your not the only one this has happened to and it doesn't make you a bad person. Hope you and Gizmo work it out, from what I read I think you will :hug:

Taryn0405 09-03-2011 07:23 PM

Cynthia-
As someone owning a Gizmo as well, and knowing the name seems to fit the fiesty personality, I'm glad to see you're taking an active approach to getting Gizmo the help he needs. I agree with the others, that hitting is never okay. However, I can see that you are getting your emotions in check and doing what's best for Gizmo and yourself, and that's getting the training that both you and him needs. Let's face it, dog trainers train us more then they train the dog.
With that being said, I think, in fact I know that handling Gizmo, as well as two GSD pups is way, way too much for anyone. I might have missed it, but did you say you were re-homing the GSD pups? I think, with regards to you trying to help Gizmo, that this may be the best thing.
One thing that helped me when I was only getting 3 hours of sleep per night, and had a BYB dog crying and going potty all in his crate, is to try to put yourself in their paws. Remember-and I tell myself this everyday-even though I think Gizmo knows what I'm saying, he has no idea. And for him, that must be just as frustrating as it is for me when he goes potty on the floor.

Keep us updated and good luck!


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