Am I doing the right thing?
 

My Emmett is the love of my life. I have had him since he was apuppy and he is now three years old. He was the first dog I ever got for myself.

I am getting ready to start grad school, and am also getting ready to move out of my mom's house into an apartment. Here's the thing... My mom has a dog that has been Emmett's friend his whole life. My mom is also home all the time due to her disabilities. When I start grad school I will be away from home all day, up to 8 or 9 hours at a time. Emmett has never been alone. I was afraid he'd be lonely.

So what I did, although it is breaking my heaert so much... is that I told my mom she could keep Emmett while I am in grad school. I will only live 30 minutes away, and I know I will get to see him often... but am I doing the right thing? I am going to miss him sooo bad.

I've been crying about it frequently, away from other people like my mom and my fiancee because I don't want them to see how upset I am. Am I doing the right thing for Emmett? Will he miss me too much? Am I doing the wrong thing? I don't know what to do. :cry:

Oh, I'm sorry you are facing such a tough decision :(. I can't say what you should do, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing for your little guy. He will certainly miss you, but the stress will not be near as much as if he were taken from the only home he's known and his little dog friend, while also being left alone for so long every day. You should really feel fortunate that you can leave him with your mom and know he will be well cared for.

A Hug for You!
 

What a tough decison. But, I am sure leaving him with a constant companion would be better than lots of time alone. Will you be able to visit him frequently? I hope you can find peace with your final decision. Good luck.

I'm not sure where your school is located vs. your new apartment, but is it at all possible for your mom to puppy sit during the day while you're gone? 30 minutes isn't at all that far. I have an hour commute each way to work, so a 30 minute doggy daycare commute isn't really unreasonable. Also, could you maybe have him live with you on the weekends? At least that way he wouldn't be gone all the time.

It's a tough decision to make, one I'm sure is weighing heavily on you. I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll come to the right decision for Emmett.

Whenever I find myself doing the unselfish thing, the one that puts the other party first and foremost...I find that it hurts beyond belief. Your decision to allow your pup to stay at "his" home with his friend and your mom sounds like it is in the best interest of the pup.

Yes, he will miss you, but you will have the gratification of knowing that he is well taken care of and that he is among family and with his friend, instead of being in a house alone by himself for hours. Sounds to me like you are doing the honorable thing....not the easy thing....but the one which puts your pup's needs before yours! Not many people can or will do that. In a self-fulfilling world it is a choice worthy of praise.

I am sorry you are going thru this but at least you know that Emmett will loved and cared for as you would want him to be...and you get to see him as you often as you can. :)

I know this is very hard on you but this shows just how much you love Emmett as you are putting his well being ahead of your needs. I wish you all the best and am sending you a big hug. Congrats and best wishes in grad school.

Wow! What a TOUGH decision. :( I feel for you. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I know I could never not live without Jackson, I miss him sooo much when I have to leave him at my dads if I'm going somewhere, I literally miss him sleeping in the bed with me. I couldn't do more than a week or two without him (and even that is hard). Maybe that's me being selfish, but I just couldn't part ways. With you being so close, is there no way you can pick him up after work, and maybe just leave him at your moms during the day?

What I would personally do is probably enlist in doggie daycare, or a petsitter coming to my house once per day. A lot of dogs are often left home for 8 hours at a time, that's pretty common for working dog owners. So I don't think it's totally a terrible thing to do, but do think a dogwalker or daycare would be really beneficial (if, of course, he doesn't stay with your mom). If I was trying to make your decision, I would probably get a 2nd dog, to keep each other company. But I know that's not always possible with everybody, and not always the solution. It's just something I would do.

What are your hours that you're going to be away? Like an 8-5 type of deal? If so, I don't see an issue with getting home at 5-6pm, being able to still give Emmett a walk, or playtime, etc. Also, Jackson also lived his whole life at my moms house with their dog and she got hit by a car and died when Jackson was almost a 1year old, yeah he was really upset without her for a few weeks, but then he got used to being the only dog. Dogs usually adjust really easily, and alot faster than humans. You've also gotta think... what about when you're finished w/ grad school? Are you going to want to take him back... because that seems more unfair to me. By living even longer with your mom and dog playmate, the harder it's going to be to take him away from there when the time comes.

Whatever you decide, I really wish you luck. You will know what's right and what's best. :)

My new school is 2 miles away from my apartment, and 30 minutes away from my home. I am only moving because I would have to go over a high traffic bridge everyday and it is more convenient to live closer... plus I can ride my bike because I am in a city location. Weekends are a possibility, but would it confise him?
My Teaching/School schedule is:

MONDAY
2-4:30
HOUR BREAK
5:30PM - 8:15PM

TUESDAY
1-3:45

WEDNESDAY
2-3:15- 4:30
HOUR BREAK
5:30PM - 8:15PM

THURSDAY
1-3:45
45 minute break
4:30PM - 5:20PM
40 minute break
6:00PM - 8:45PM

FRIDAY-SUNDAY
Free all day

Staying with your mom is the best thing for him. When I had my Cocker, he stayed with my mom for two years when I lived in a place that couldn't have dogs. He would stay with me on weekends and I'd visit after work on days I didn't have to work late. This will be the best thing for him...don't worry. At first, I thought you were going to say that you were rehoming him. :( This is so much better :)

Wow, what a schedule!!! Friday could be your fun day with your baby...then I guess you could "study"....uggh.....or something later. ;)

Oh my heart hurts for you...maybe you could have him for a sleepover on Tuesday and then take him for the weekends...I keep Kaylee my sons yorkie 90% of the time but she still gets so excited to go with her mom and dad and sometimes spend the night at her moms..My son lives with us but he is gone most of the time..and if he doesn't come home for the night she sleeps with us and the rest of the time she sleeps with him...it doesn't seem to upset her at all to adjust back and forth...so I think Emmett would enjoy staying with you on the weekends and going back to your mom's for the week..he would know you are always coming back for him. I hope you can work it out for both of you to be happy

Oh, I'm sorry you have to make this decision. This has to be so hard.:(
I hope you can come to some sort of arrangement that you can be at peace with.
By the looks of your schedule, you would have some time with you little one.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

If the traffic situation necessitates you having to move then it certainly wouldn't be feasible to have your mom go to your place once a day or to pet sit. I think you are doing the right thing during the week. Yorkies do fine alone but they prefer company if that is an option and obviously he has the option. I would get him on Fridays and take him back to mom's on Sunday. That way you and he have best of both worlds. Wouldn't be confusing to him at all. They love adventure and change of scenery just as much as we do. He'd have his playmate and granny during the week and his mommy on the three day weekends. What more could a furbaby want?

Heck if you pick him up Thursday night it's a 3 1/2 day split between the two of you so he would be spending the same amount of time with you as your mom. You wouldn't be 'giving' up anything at all!

Your doing the right thing even if it does hurt its whats best for your baby and your going to see him all the time! if i were you ide be very proud of your selfless choice like fufu girl said the right choice usually hurts more

Its a hard decision to make but I think you are doing the right thing, a constant companion is much better then him being alone all day.

That would be a very good plan!

Mon, Wed and Thurs look like they are your only long days. Perhaps Emmett could stay with your mom those days and home with you the other days. Then he would have the best of both worlds! If not, maybe a dog walker like Britster suggested. Good luck whatever your decision.:)

Best of luck... I feel for you... A situation like this is why I bought Harley.

I came from a horse arena where I owned 5-15 horses at a time. They were my babies my love and my life. I moved 3 hours away to school, and suffered a lot from trying to make things work, and in the end I signed all of mine over to my mother, and my boyfriend bought me Harley.

It is smart to think of the dogs needs, he will probably be upset and stressed in a new home. It will also come down to how you feel. If it's killing you to let him go, before you make a decision think long and hard about the pros and cons of each.

Is it possible to get a new companion for your baby so he's not alone at your house? I leave my Harley while we're at work and he's fine, but he's an only fur child.

Good luck... keep us posted, I don't envy your decision...

You are doing the right thing for him. You'll get to see him often. Also, his life won't be disrupted a lot from what he has always known.

I think too that leaving him with your Mom is best, as he's in familiar surroundings with friends he knows... that way you won't be worried about him so much and can concentrate on classes... and you do have plenty of time to spend with him on the weekends. Maybe get him accustomed to your apartment, just in case he will ever need to stay there, but that can be done gradually... no pressure... He's still very young... Yorkies can be very adaptable.

That is a wonderful idea, and I will try to do this. Thank you all for your help and support, this has been hard for me.

I agree that the unselfish decision sounds like the best choice for now. Kudos to you for making that difficult choice!

Remember that movie, The Weatherman with Nicholas Cage? And his father says - in life, usually the right thing to do and the hardest thing to do are one and the same.

I've found that to be so true!

But it will only be for a short time and you can see him on week-ends and some evenings probably. When your situation changes; he can come to live with you full time.

I think you are making the right choice. Not only will you be away from home but grad school takes up quite a bit of time outside of school as well! I think it would be unfair if he was left alone all day, and then you weren't able to dedicate enough time for him later on (not saying that you will necessarily, but you will be tired when coming home and might not have the time to play with him or take him for walks. Plus you'll have lots of papers to write depending on your field!).

You can definitely visit him on weekends or whenever you have free time during the day. I know it's really tough, I am starting grad school too this fall and will have to be apart from my dog because I just don't see myself having the time to tend to her 24/7. :(

Thank you ALL for your concern and advice. These last few days have been rough for me. I have been thinking about how I won't have Emmett constantly by my side... and I've been randomly bursting into tears. Two nights ago I even woke myself because I was crying about it in my dreams.

Today after giving Emmett a bath I cried in front of my mom. Big mistake. She yelled at me, actually yelled at me for crying. She accused me of trying to make her feel guilty. Then she made me feel worse talking about how she's cried over me leaving and she was starting to guilt trip me about moving.

Emmett is MINE after all, I can cry if I want to. I guess no one around me really understands how I feel. Emmett is my BABY, and even if I get to have hime some weekends it just won't be the same. :( Now I'm crying again.

Sorry for being a downer guys.

She might be yelling to keep from crying. Sometimes moms do things that make us feel better at the time, at the expense of our kids feelings. Doesn't make it right, but it is an explanation. She is feeling a lot of different things about you going to college. HER baby is growing up and leaving. It isn't so much you putting her on a guilt trip as she just doesn't know what to do with all the emotions she has about all the changes she's going through, anymore than you do. Have pity on her. You're both going to be soaking your pillows.

Kinda like when our kids miss the bus home and for a few panicked moments we don't know where they are and when we find them we shake and yell at them "Don't ever do that again", then cry and hug them, then yell again.... we yell because we're angry because we were scared to death. Our emotions get all mixed up, but doesn't stop us from scaring the crap out of and yelling at the kids. Don't care what the kids think or feel, we do what we do to make ourselves feel better at the moment. So, take that into account and let it go...... moms aren't perfect... it will be okay....eventually...LOL

I'm sorry you are going through this.
I know it's difficult for some people to understand the strong bond we have with our furbabies.
He will always be your baby and I hope that you get things worked out so you have him with you more than not.
Please take care and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Please keep us posted.